Overwhelming Melt-down Question

[the_tortoise]

I need time to process, so much... I put the project away @the_tortoise trying to put positive thoughts with it... does that make sense... just kept telling myself it is important to me, and I will realize that later, maybe in a month... or whenever. But I created it and it really will be very cool when it is finished. Thank you again for the encouragement.

Yes it makes sense to me, I would try the same thing if it were me in your place.

I hope the bad feelings begin to ease away soon and you can rediscover the joy you started out with!

 

[techteach]

@Vinca Yes, I do not like change either, and it can overwhelm me. That may be a reason I lost it. I get very involved in things...

I have problems with Alexithymia and have been learning to not ignore feelings I do not understand but to just experience them even if I'm not sure what they are. I used to suppress them because I didn't understand the need to have them. I think it was @Fino (nice duck by the way) who helped me with this (he has the same problem.) So I'm not sure even now what happened (with my feelings.) Maybe I could with a picture that could help? I just go someplace quiet (was in bed a lot the last couple of days) and experience. How do you even search for a picture if you don't know for what you are looking?

@MaeveTheRaven I always feel very ashamed (or sad, or hurting) when it happens. Many times it's much more inside than outside (emotional distress rather than breaking something.) Still the guilt. Thank you for the kind words. I'm going to wait a month or so, and if I am able to go back to it that will be a major life change for me. Reading this seems kind of sad, never realized until this incident that this has been going for years. Does this make sense? I have a lot of things/people who used to be a part of my life that because of the way I am are not just not a part, but the feeling of being around it/them is so full of hurt inside that even writing this is painful. Lost my best friend because all he wants to talk about is religion and that topic is impossible for me.

But doing much better today. And I really liked the

I knew I was supposed to keep my cool, as adults do, and that hiding in a study room and crying was not a solution.

. Could so identify.

 

[Fino]

I have problems with Alexithymia and have been learning to not ignore feelings I do not understand but to just experience them even if I'm not sure what they are. I used to suppress them because I didn't understand the need to have them. I think it was @Fino (nice duck by the way) who helped me with this (he has the same problem.) So I'm not sure even now what happened (with my feelings.) Maybe I could with a picture that could help? I just go someplace quiet (was in bed a lot the last couple of days) and experience. How do you even search for a picture if you don't know for what you are looking?

Thank you!!

That was to the duck part, to the rest: I know, right!?

 

[BeachLife]

Question: What sort of interruptions are you talking about?

If it's something like someone coming and waltzing into the room when you're trying to work, that's one thing. But if it's a small noise from somewhere that isnt important, that is a problem that needs to be worked on. One way or another, there's no way at all to completely avoid small distractions like that. They only become "interruptions" because you ALLOW them to.

And if these interruptions are happening with the sort of very high frequency that your post suggests, I'm betting that quite a few of them are small things that you dont actually NEED to pay any attention to.

One way or another, if you want to be able to do your projects at all, you have zero choice but to essentially train yourself to perform the correct steps to stop/prevent the larger interruptions (such as closing/locking a door, and putting a sign up that says "GO AWAY I'M WORKING" and maybe outright ignoring anyone that doesnt respect that... that's certainly what I do), and you need to learn to simply and totally ignore small irrelevant things. Because THOSE arent going away. There will always be small obnoxious things.

With those sorts of things, you have to say to yourself "okay, that's not something I *need* to deal with. It's not important right now. I can handle it, and I'm going to keep working even with it there". That sort of thing. Start by saying it out loud, as that can have more effect than you may think. Make it a mantra that you repeat whenever something is being annoying.

I mean, being on the spectrum makes that tougher than it would be for most people, with all the sensory issues, but still... you CAN gain control over it, but only if you go into it with the right attitude and determination. And a refusal to simply give up.

There's no avoiding the fact that this is going to take some willpower and effort on your part to deal with this overall problem.

Yes, it's tricky, and not a nice feeling. so many of us relate to what you are talking about. I would just like to add that being kind to yourself is so important. If you are not comfortable asking for accommodations from people, well I would urge you to stsrt getting comfortable with allowing yourself accommodations and some really good self care. "This too shall pass" just like all the other team it's happened, so I wish you all the best with allowing yourself whatever you need to make these things easier for you. If people won't back us, we have really got to back ourselves. Take care

 

[paloftoon]

Is your project conducive to you asking colleagues for help and/or letting your boss know that you might not be able to finish the project by a certain deadline at all because of some things that could not be anticipated?

 

[techteach]

@paloftoon Thank you for answering. The project is totally me playing. I just get very involved. I teach electronics and relax by creating circuits on bread-boards. This one is so awesome I want to get it built. It's killer!!!

@BeachLife It is hard for me to ask for time because I always want to be there for others. But I needed this time and I should have let everyone know and turned off my phone. I know that in order to be there for others I have to take care of myself. But it is hard. I NEED to do this next time... Thank you.

 

[techteach]

I did solder it together on Wednesday. It sounds amazing.

This is a big thing for me because it is something I have never been able to do, go back to something that I have melted down over.

I know there are bigger things (I have melted down over) I need to get past. Relationships mainly. Just typing that made it seem overwhelming. It make me feel helpless and lost. Don't know where to start. Think I need to let the past be past and move on.

Anyway, thank you everyone

 

[the_tortoise]

I did solder it together on Wednesday. It sounds amazing.

This is a big thing for me because it is something I have never been able to do, go back to something that I have melted down over.

I know there are bigger things (I have melted down over) I need to get past. Relationships mainly. Just typing that made it seem overwhelming. It make me feel helpless and lost. Don't know where to start. Think I need to let the past be past and move on.

Anyway, thank you everyone

Congratulations!!

 

[SDRSpark]

You definitely don't have anything to be ashamed of here.

If possible, remove the interruptions. Lock the door. Put on music. Turn off the phone. I'm not sure what your living situation is, but if you have to deal with other people, block off time where you are unavailable (except for real emergencies). It's not unusual for neurotypicals to want some time alone, and it's certainly not too much to ask to be allowed to work on your project in peace.

 

[Aspychata]

Maybe next really big project you have planned to do at a more opportune time , (like 3:am). And why get upset, you were filled with gleeful anticipation but bombed out after the umpteenth interruption. So just rearrange your schedule or rent a cabin in the outback. Just kidding. It's great you have so much passion. Can you re-acquaint yourself with your love of doing this project and how happy you will be once finished. Good luck.