Panic on the streets of Melbourne...

[Sass]

Ok, so I'm in the process of coming out of my first (since my childhood) panic attack.

I went down to the corner store to get some things, not really feeling like leaving the house, but I wanted a beer so I made myself go. By the time I got back I was tight-chested, shaky and terrified, it felt as though if I didn't get my key in the door fast enough and get inside then something awful was going to happen.

Now every nerve I have is shot, I feel like I need to run (which is funny in a way, because I'm not really inclined towards any kind of physical exertion), and I'm having trouble calming my heart rate and my breathing.

I knew what was happening as I reached my house, I knew I was about to lose my sh*t and that it was a panic attack, but I just couldn't stop it.

I have a dinner to go to tonight (funnily enough a group dinner with other mums who have kids on the spectrum, a couple of whom, like me, are on the spectrum too), and I'm going to MAKE myself go, because I think what led to the attack was my relative isolation the last couple of weeks. My kids are on school holidays so I haven't had a need to be anywhere or socialise that much, and my anxieties have soared in that time. I also have a writers' drinks thing to go to tomorrow night, which could be another reason I'm feeling a bit on edge, as I still feel like a bit of a fraud in that respect, even though I'm regularly published.

If you got to the end of this fairly pointless rant, then thanks, I feel better for getting it out

 

[gonzerd]

If you got to the end of this fairly pointless rant, then thanks, I feel better for getting it out

There's the point then. Sometimes just writing about these things is the way to overcome them. But you're a writer, so you know that already.

Maybe it's the two social occasions right after each other, both being fairly different in context too. I thought you mentioned before that you need some downtime in between gatherings. Together with the relative isolation of late, it makes for a big change.

I've found that sometimes having a panic attack beforehand makes me loosen up more, as if I've already worried about it all in advance. Maybe it's going over every possible bad, worse and worst case scenario that makes me realize if chances are things will go wrong, I might as well not worry and have some fun in the process. Once all the nerves are shot, anxiety can't flow through them.

(Edit: change chance to change)

 

[Sass]

I've found beers make me stress less. Thank goodness for the bottle shop LOL. But seriously, thank you. You're a source of comfort, in the best and least-weird-interwebs way I can muster

 

[gonzerd]

Well that's an awfully nice thing to say. Thank you! And go beers

 

[Sass]

What can I say, I get nice when there's beer

 

[Easter]

I been having a few panics recently as I have attempted to be sociable. The last one I had about a week ago was at the door of a girls house who invited me round, I was lead to believe she would be there alone but she mentioned people were there once i was at her door, I had to get out of there fast and she wouldn't let me go, she was holding onto my arm and being very clingy and needy like she would die without me... I made it away and was quite shaken up. It was bad but made worse by the fact that she has no capacity to understand autism and just sees it as strange behavior. There is a lot more involved that I can't go into, but she isn't single and told me she was, PANIC!

I will now listen to The Smiths

 

[o2tosin]

Sass, it is the struggle with the panic attack that is uncomfortable and can escalate panic. A meditation practice is invaluable to "vaccinate' against panic. I can recommend Russ Harris' work, Bev Aisbett "Taming IT", or Openground MBSR courses. Regular exercise is fantastic- and doing it with your kids will help parenting too. Sadly beer is has zero wisdom units and while possibly ameliorating the situation does not educate.

 

[radasp]

Severe anxiety and panic attacks! Suffered all my life. Did the usual behavioral therapy stuff! Never worked, because it's not "mental," it's physical: a sleep / circadian rhythm disorder. See a medical doc or sleep specialist. I take amitriptyline (an old safe antidepressant that works as a sleep aid in low doses) at bedtime. Very effective.

 

[Atay]

Did you fear judgment at the corner store? If so, it might be a sign that working on externalizing perceived judgment could be on your future. Helps me!

 

[Sass]

Did you fear judgment at the corner store? If so, it might be a sign that working on externalizing perceived judgment could be on your future. Helps me!

Hmmm, no I don't think so, unless it's something I'm fearing without realising it. I do have a fear of judgement in social situations, but that's more of a 'going out and having to talk to people' thing. I think leaving the house sometimes makes me feel unsafe because I watch the news too much :S

 

[Atay]

Hmm. Is it more a fear of death or more a fear of responding to an attack?