People do change.

[Nervous Rex]

I have staked a great deal of my hope and joy in this life into the idea that I can change. Through the perseverence that everyone mentions here, I've been able to make some life-saving changes in my thought patterns, social interactions, and habits.

A lot of times, my attempts to change and my success is inconsistent and faltering at first. You wouldn't scold a baby for falling down when it's learning to walk - don't scold yourself if you fail the first time you try to change. Keep at it and celebrate every small step of progress.

There are some things that I will probably always struggle with - dealing with sudden change that's out of my control, continually being either bored or overstimulated, pervasive feeling of anxiety, etc. But I can change the way I cope with them.

Thank you, @GadAbout, for this uplifting thread.

 

[Nervous Rex]

 

[Ken S.]

@tree That would also be true if one swallowed a roll of dimes.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

Interesting post.

Maybe some people (like me) need more time before acting upon any advice. You see, we get lots of different advice, get confused to which is the most suitable advice (chronic indecisiveness there). Realization of our own weakness & acceptance need time.

Then need time to do the actions too. Before doing the actions mentioned in the advice, preparation also needed too (for example, people advice you to learn a new language - you need to research what language, where to learn, what material, cost, etc... before actually do the "learn a new language"). Repeat all these for every advice. Thus that's why you see I don't change

Other people decide fast, while I waste my time pondering but somehow I cant help it. I dislike this part of me too. Wonder how people can decide that fast. Probably they know themselves - what they want, what they tolerate, what they wont tolerate - while I don't know myself.

I don't think indecisiveness relates to Asperger, since my self-diagnosed aspie husband is not indecisive, while I am. Is indecisiveness relates more to ADD (attention deficit)? Or other things?

 

[SimonSays]

Yes, I suppose that’s true. People do change or perhaps maybe they just let go of things that were stopping them from being who they really are.

Maybe we get a little bit better at knowing who we are so we are able to do it slightly differently which makes it easier. But can we really change who we are? How can I be somebody else? I might be able to let go of beliefs that don’t work for me, and introduce beliefs that do. But what I think is true may not be what someone else does.

So perhaps it’s more about being around the right people who are able to accept me for who I am without feeling like I have to change in order to be.

On the other hand, the resistance to letting go of how I have been, to accept the wisdom being offered to me from a perspective outside of myself, can definitely interfere with me seeing things in the best way. So perhaps that’s more of what you mean. That the ego of some people refuses to accept that perhaps there is another way of seeing, that they don’t have it all figured out, And it is this that is the real issue.