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People in the Public Eye with ASD

LeroyT1000 said:
When a celebrity has meltdowns I always wonder is it due to some childhood trauma like abuse or something along those lines. I haven't thought that the meltdowns could be due to ASD until today until Beverley pointed it out so thank you things kind of make sense now. Justin Bieber maybe but I always put his problems down to his time with P Diddy :(
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I won't discuss Bieber's issues, that is his place not mine but, he isn't on the spectrum. (Second hand from a mutual acquaintance but, I am not personally friends with Bieber.) Let's just say I have a few more issues with him than his clinical ones. (Yeah you just touched on a bit of a personal war there, one I think is best left at this or, taken to PMs if you feel you must know.)
 
The fixturing for General Motors was a one off design that wasn't worth gaining a patent for. In manufacturing,the credit for doing a job is always fair compensation after the contract is filled. The shoes for the ponies was an idea brought to me to make as a part of their process where they bonded polyurethane to an inexpensive cast standard production alloy shoe that got broken too easily and wanted shoes that fit more precisely to any horse with a hoof from size 0 thru ten as they were engineered for each hoof. I always laughed when I got an order for them that were usually in multiples of fifty. At times,the original designs were altered to make corrective shoes for horses they were injured by making them wedge shaped. The toe area of each shoe has a 18 inch radius that was calculated by someone who determined that a rolling action of the radius would deliver a gain of 1/4 inch in stride for an advantage on a horse running the same speed with their shoes digging in. The doofus who came to me with his proposal insisted on adding the nail groove to each shoe that was a very time consuming operation that was most of the labor cost for production. The nail groove on a hand forged iron horseshoe was beat into each shoe so the shoe was thin enough to pierce it for the nails used to attach them. The alloy shoes are all bonded to the hoof with kevlar cloth that in turn is attached to the hoof to prevent splitting of the hoof and making a horse lame as a result.
 
I know Susan Boyle has it. Satoshi Tajiri, the creator of Pokemon, has been diagnosed with autism too, you could argue that he isn't in the public eye though. Eminem is appearently on the spectrum as well.
 
Yeah Eminem is, very high functioning, like many of us, and like most of us we present ourselves as even higher functioning than we actually are. That is the benefit of having fleets of PR and other image crafting professionals at hand whenever we need them, and the advantage of "CUT! Take two!" and our damage control team telling interviewers exactly what they can and cannot ask us. Even a live interview has an outline script, not verbatim scripting like recorded interviews but, we know before the interview starts what questions are on the okay to ask list and which are on the do not ask list so, we can formulate answers to everything that might be asked ahead of time.

We also have people telling us what those answers should be if outs is a bit off, reveals too much or whatever else can be wrong with our answers. We are never recorded or on camera unsupervised and, rarely without earpieces with at least two coaches helping us.

Awards ceremonies are actually one of the most unscripted, unsupervised public appearances we have to do. There we don't have an earpiece, we don't know if we will win until the announcement unless we are one of the presenters then, we do know whom we will be giving the win to. Of course if we are performing, we get out earpieces for that but, for most of the ceremony we only have the knowledge of whom has been nominated for what, who will be presenting and the order of events for the evening.

If we are nominated, we do have acceptance speeches prepared but, with the stress and hype, those often go out the window if we actually do win and, some of that shocked stammering you see is an act, keeps us looking a bit more humble LOL.

Satoshi Tajiri still has his share of PR to do, anyone that creates anything that's wildly popular does, even if the majority of that is on paper.
 
Naturalist said:
Beverly that brings up something I have wondered, how can one who has a large public following feel justified in keeping their ASD secret, when we know full well that celebrity endorsements of causes hold a tremendous sway over public opinion? How do people in the limelight see others suffering because of public ignorance regarding ASD, and not feel compelled to speak out about that injustice from a personal vantagepoint?

Not trying to be accusatory, just want to point out that not all of us here can be regarded as influential, and not everyone has both the gift and the burden of having others care about their perspectives and experience. And celebrities always seem to want causes, why do they shy away from this one when they could be instrumental in radically changing the cultural attitude toward ASDs?
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Beverly said:
It's simple really, while we know the endorsements would help bring attention and awareness, coming out is a huge risk to our careers. ASD is seen as a disease, mental illness, defect, deficit, abnormal and, it's one that cannot be effectively treated so as to eliminate all symptoms and, it cannot be cured.

A big part of our success is our ability, with the help of a very large team of professionals, to appear to live idyllic lives, to appear above, or at the least able to easily recover form or fix anything that might be wrong with us. Coming out as less than perfect and, beyond repair destroys that image and, costs us fans. Fans mean sales, money, our very livelihood. Yes it can be done but, as with any negative revelation about us, the way it's done has to be carefully orchestrated. As I know personally that cost money, a lot more than you might think and, that has to come out of my own pocket.

Some are either to selfish or too afraid to ever come out. Some, because of family, some because of their handlers, some for more personal reasons and, a few because they are already facing a good deal of hate for other reasons and, can't cope with any more, they live every day on the edge of emotional overload.

Just because we are in the limelight doesn't mean we are really any different than anyone else. Some of us can do it and can handle it, some can't.
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And...remember what happened when Jerry Seinfeld said he might be on the spectrum? :(
 
Mr. Seinfeld stated in an interview that he suspected he may be on the ASD spectrum. The backlash was incredible, outrage and anger from fans, the ASD community and, his own staff. He later had to make a public retraction. privately many of us do think he is on the spectrum and, may even have a DX by now but, because of the backlash and forced retraction, he will never be able to come out, even with a diagnosis. An internet search will give you an overview of what happened to Mr. Seinfeld.

The ASD community basically flamed him for being a distraction to research and the reality of living with ASD. The rest flamed him for trying to claim ASD as a publicity stunt just to get money for his pet causes. The fear is that he and other celebrities being on the spectrum let lawmakers and care givers off the hook because it perpetuates a "You can have an ASD, get a Ph.D., write jokes and, your quirks and such are now explainable so, it's all okay, nobody needs to help you." People fear that seeing successful, public figures openly on the spectrum will actually hurt funding because if we can be the successes we are, then anyone on the spectrum can do the same and thus, no one needs help.

I understand those concerns and, that's why when any of us do come out we've got to be careful not to give the impression that we are the norm in the world of those with ASD, we are the exceptions, the result of having the support, education and, environment we, as individuals, needed to thrive. that is so often not the case, in fact is not the case for the majority on the spectrum. Most of you don't have people beating you over the head (figuratively speaking) telling you how to be socially and professionally acceptable to the world in general. You don't go into interviews with an earbud in one ear and someone telling you when to speak, what to say, when to pretend to listen, when to act happy, sad or whatever. You don't have a damage control team covering up your shutdowns, meltdowns and, other minor anxiety attacks with some attention grabbing story that either makes it sound normal or, draws the attention to someone else. You don't have a PR department, wardrobe team and, makeup artists making sure you are utterly flawless before you go out in public.

We have all of that, and more behind us and, when we do go public with ASD, we have got to be sure no one thinks we are the norm for those with ASD and, that the public understand our sole reason for going public is to help those that are the norm who struggle every day just to have a home or food, or get through a day of school because nobody is there to help them, to give them even an small pinch of the support we have.

Even though any celebrity, ASD or not has the same support, the benefits to those of us on the spectrum are well above and beyond what the average person has access to and, are a huge part in making us the successful exceptions we are in spite of ASD. We can't afford to allow ourselves to become the face of ASD, that would destroy what little most of you have in the way of research and services now.

Just one more part of why coming out is a major feat for us and, has to be so carefully orchestrated. The backlash could ruin any one of us, or do irreparable damage to the ASD community as far as making services and support available as well as the funding for continuing research.

Being in the public eye has it's advantages and, it's boons, we gain a lot for who we are and what we do but, with that comes a greater responsibility and, if we are to come out, we've got to be good stewards of that responsibility, for everyone on the spectrum, not just high functioning individuals, not just the rich, not just those with acting or musical talent but, everyone.
 
Which will then cause more intensive pressure to ASD people because their parents will hear this and think it's something to be solved by discipline and intensive teaching. Great. Pressure caused me to be in the situation I am currently (NEET, that is). Too much pressure destroys a person. If you go telling the public that intensive social training will fix us that'll just make it worse for a lot of ASD kids already under too much pressure.
 
Exactly unsurewhattoname it's too easy for the public to get the impression that with enough guidance, discipline and motivation, anyone on the spectrum can be "normal." That's because all the public sees of those of us in the spotlight is us pretending to be normal, maintaining the nearly perfect images we and our teams of professionals have crafted to show the public.

Once I do go public, mics and cameras will be coming into my home, onto the tour bus, nothing big but I do have a short series of 15 minute videos of me being myself, showing the wind down I have to go through, what it takes for me to be ready to face the public, showing a bit of the real me and, a lot of the transition between the real me and my public façade, in both directions.

I want it to be clear that no amount of discipline and training can cure ASD in any way, all it does is teach us to hide it and get along a little easier in the NT world. Sure it's stuff anyone can benefit from but, it doesn't undo or lessen the reality of being on the spectrum one iota, just gives us more tools to use in our attempt to live a full life on the spectrum.

In short, I want it clear that we are born on the spectrum and, that's where we stay for our entire lives no matter what we learn and what we can do, who we become, how wealthy or poor we are, we were born on and, always will be on the spectrum and, that means a whole host of struggles, challenges and issues NTs do not face for our entire lives and, what those might be varies greatly from one person on the spectrum to the next.

I'm okay being pushed and, pushing myself to the point of having a meltdown, I can deal with doing that to myself and allowing my people to do it to me if that's what it takes for me to give the world my best on stage or on an album. Some people can't handle that. I can't handle the tick of metronomes, but somone else on the spectrum might find the tick of a metronome soothing. We are each different, but we all face things we must deal with and, find ways to live with that NTs don't have to figure out.
 
Beverly said:
I want it to be clear that no amount of discipline and training can cure ASD in any way, all it does is teach us to hide it and get along a little easier in the NT world. Sure it's stuff anyone can benefit from but, it doesn't undo or lessen the reality of being on the spectrum one iota, just gives us more tools to use in our attempt to live a full life on the spectrum.
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I'm saying it does not benefit a person to force them to learn to be NT. You are saying it does. It doesn't. Our social communication is, and always will be, poor. Teaching will not solve this. It needs to be worked around. Different skills a person has should be focused on more. You shouldn't hammer a square peg into a round hole. I do not appear NT, nor will I ever. If I'm going to ever reach independence I'm going to need to focus on what I can do, rather than try to improve something that simply is what it is and won't change. I have skills but my communication will never be one and that's fine. Everyone has weaknesses.
 
unsurewhattoname I think anyone would benefit from learning how to present themselves well in something like a job interview, how to negotiate a raise, or promotion, how to relay information accurately to the police, ambulance or other service dispatchers. How to bring a mistake that affects them to the attention of those that might be able to correct it without causing a scene.

Not everyone needs to learn the social "game" as well as some of us do, but learning to understand and use a bit more of it would help anyone. Sure there are many who don't want to or can't be good communicators but, knowing how to handle situations the vast majority of us find ourselves in will help anyone.

You know, that goes for NTs too, no one is born knowing how to navigate interviews, ask for raises, present themselves well when they are up for a promotion or any of that, everyone had to learn it it's just more challenging for us and, I think that sort of thing can be taught in ways that are easier for us to grasp and, make it all make a bit more sense to us.

I know too well what it's like to be told "do it because that's how it's done." and never understand a bit of the why I have to do that when it comes to social things. I know how frustrating that is, and that it is all but impossible to remember it that way, and totally impossible to apply it to any other situation, it's a one time thing when presented that way. I think we can do better, and at the least better help those on the spectrum that are able to work get the jobs, keep them and, get the promotions they deserve.
 
I know how job interviews are supposed to work. You're supposed to look them in the eyes, you're supposed to maintain a fluid conversation, you're supposed to show open body language. I was taught this at school. However am I able to use this? No. I can't look people in the eyes, I can't articulate myself well enough to maintain a conversation, and I'm too busy panicking about not being able to speak because my mind is absolutely blank that body language doesn't even cross my mind. Knowing the theory does not change the actual outcome. You think I don't try? You have no idea how badly I want to work, but when they immediately decline you for a minimum pay temporary job what are you supposed to do?
 
unsurewhattoname I completely understand that and, that is exactly what I'm talking about. You think I don't have problems doing what you describe? You think I knew how to articulate well simply because I was told to do it? You think I gained the confidence to speak when asked a question just by being asked the question and told to answer it?

Far from it, hours and hours of examples, practice in a safe environment, outlines to prepare me for the interviews, practice interviews with every detail explained so that I understood it, over and over again. I spent weeks with my PR coach practicing seated posture so that I looked interested in what the interviewer was saying. I watched videos, learned what parts of the body I should look at when to see body language. I was also taught, and give the opportunity to practice a lot of little trick to break that anxiety and panic before it gets out of control.

Is it easy? No, one of the hardest aspects of my career, always has been, always will be but, the basics of what I have had to learn apply to any interview type situation and, learning to sell yourself is what it takes to get that job or promotion. The information can be presented in a way that you and every Aspie can understand and use but, that's different for each of us to one degree or another. Everyone can be give safe opportunities to learn and practice such skills and, employers can be taught how to make the whole process less difficult for us, they can learn to disregard eye contact, to speak more softly, to give us an extra moment to reply.

It's a two way street and, it can be done, I just want to do what I can to make such things more available to everyone.

I know how fortunate I am to have had, and still have the people I do around me. I hated it at times and, yes some of them had no clue how to teach me in a way I really understood but, some did and, I did learn.

None of us on the spectrum are stupid, we can all learn and it can help us all. To what degree is very much an individual thing but, as it stands now, few ever have the chance to learn and practice in a way that works for them. If I could give everyone even one hour of that, I'd die a happy woman.
 
I agree with Beverley the more we can learn skills to 'fit in' the better otherwise we will just live on benefits for the rest of our lives and there's not going to be any special treatment for us in this lifetime. Of course raising awareness is great and it will help future generations.

My grandad used to get me to pretend I was going for an interview and he was the interviewer. I was about 11 or 12 and my guts used to twist and turn and the nerves hit me too. He was a very strict man and not pleasing him would just make life difficult. Anyway it worked and I was working in a hotel at 13 and got chosen out of hundreds of applicants.

The act comes naturally now. I can look them in the eyes and let the vocabulary roll off and let nothing slip. However, I do have to take a long lie down afterwards as it's exhausting to do.

If I say to the interviewer I have ASD and look down to the floor and be my inward awkward self he is not going to hire me unless he's got a massive heart but, sadly, in business it's very cut throat.
 
Sometimes it seems like we are like the Replicants in Blade Runner. Trying to blend in but not fully succeeding :)

Moments will be lost in time like tears.. In.. Rain x
 
No you're really not understanding, neither of you. I did not disclose ASD and look down, I didn't disclose. I went to a normal interview with a bunch of others and really tried my best. I think it's horrible you'd suggest otherwise, that I'm not trying, that I'm just falling back on my diagnosis.

I can speak but most of what I say is "I don't know". It doesn't matter where I am, who I am talking to, it's "I don't know". Even at home when I'm not at all stressed out it's "I don't know". My entire life it's been this way. And why do I say it? No words. None. If my speech was anywhere near as good as my typing then yeah I'd have less problems. But it's not. I don't believe either of you experience a truly blank mind but this is daily for me and there's nothing I can do about it. If you had you would not be saying what both of you are saying about it. You do not "completely understand", you think you do but you don't. I've worked my entire life trying to get better. But it's not going to happen. My speech is never going to be at a level where I can even think about passing as an NT, I have a disorder that impairs verbal communication (among other things) and it's horrible being trapped inside myself.
 
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