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People's I.Q

Mary Terry said:
I don't think anyone ever wished they had more IQ points while lying on their death bed.
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Well If the wish become reality it would give them a little more time considering the positive correlation between life expectancy and iq.

Forest Cat said:
You have told people how smart you are but you forgot modest, you're also very modest. ;)
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Yes people have described me as such. But that's not what this thread is about.
 
I guess it's kinda late but ı don't really know why i used the word "iq", i just want to say "intelligence". There are so many people on the replies talking about the iq tests, what does those points mean and that kinda stuff...
I am just trying to understand why i cannot have healthy relationships with people, and why do i feel like i'm from a different world near them. And i'm making an assumption like, "are they dumber than me? is this the problem?".
Most of the time i don't even know how can someone possible answer this kind of questions here but i just want to write what i feel, and when someone shares their own experience, it feels nice.
 
furkandorum said:
I guess it's kinda late but ı don't really know why i used the word "iq", i just want to say "intelligence". There are so many people on the replies talking about the iq tests, what does those points mean and that kinda stuff...
I am just trying to understand why i cannot have healthy relationships with people, and why do i feel like i'm from a different world near them. And i'm making an assumption like, "are they dumber than me? is this the problem?".
Most of the time i don't even know how can someone possible answer this kind of questions here but i just want to write what i feel, and when someone shares their own experience, it feels nice.
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That is fair. It's sad that some felt the need to attack the post as if you were a bad actor. Especially when some of them talked about having been in the same situation but still managed to lack empathy (and then talk about social intelligence and compassion of all things).
 
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furkandorum said:
I guess it's kinda late but ı don't really know why i used the word "iq", i just want to say "intelligence". There are so many people on the replies talking about the iq tests, what does those points mean and that kinda stuff...
I am just trying to understand why i cannot have healthy relationships with people, and why do i feel like i'm from a different world near them. And i'm making an assumption like, "are they dumber than me? is this the problem?".
Most of the time i don't even know how can someone possible answer this kind of questions here but i just want to write what i feel, and when someone shares their own experience, it feels nice.
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How does your relationships become unhealthy?
 
furkandorum said:
I guess it's kinda late but ı don't really know why i used the word "iq", i just want to say "intelligence". There are so many people on the replies talking about the iq tests, what does those points mean and that kinda stuff...
I am just trying to understand why i cannot have healthy relationships with people, and why do i feel like i'm from a different world near them. And i'm making an assumption like, "are they dumber than me? is this the problem?".
Most of the time i don't even know how can someone possible answer this kind of questions here but i just want to write what i feel, and when someone shares their own experience, it feels
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You're on the right trail. Henceforth, I'm going to pronounce "IQ" as "ick", as in someone's ick points or ick score.
 
Vindiesel said:
How does your relationships become unhealthy?
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Only if i knew. As i grew up, i realized that just i can't get close with people. It's like something inside me is holding me back like "don't talk to them!". And when i do, my breath; my chest get screwed up. I can only be myself when i'm alone or when i'm with someone i knew for years, people i know from early childhood. Put the healthy relationships beside, i can't have any relationship with new people.
 
furkandorum said:
I guess it's kinda late but ı don't really know why i used the word "iq", i just want to say "intelligence". There are so many people on the replies talking about the iq tests, what does those points mean and that kinda stuff...
I am just trying to understand why i cannot have healthy relationships with people, and why do i feel like i'm from a different world near them. And i'm making an assumption like, "are they dumber than me? is this the problem?".
Most of the time i don't even know how can someone possible answer this kind of questions here but i just want to write what i feel, and when someone shares their own experience, it feels nice.
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TW: Hypothetical situations.


Social and emotional intelligence are aspects of every type of social interaction. And these are aspects that NDers of any type often struggle with due to differences in the regions of the brain that process social signals and nonverbal communication.

People labelled as overly sensitive often pick up on not only their own emotions, but those of the people around them, often resulting in overwhelm and confusion. Other side of the coin, the emotionally tone deaf.

People who are oblivious to the emotions of others. Some of the lack of comprehension can be the result of things like alexithymia (inability to effectively identify and define emotions) and sometimes it is a biological lack of empathy, (sociopathy which affects about 1 in every 25 people, nearly twice the rate of ASD which is 1 in 44.) One can be addressed, the other is not something that responds to any tools. One cannot actively address something that doesn't exist.

e.g. A kid stopping to pull a kitten out of a storm drain, and say, a driver who hits a cat with their car and fails to stop. To the driver, it's just a cat, it has no worth to them. It was in the way and the resulting collision was the cat's fault. It isn't the driver's problem.

A majority of people easily relate to the kid helping the kitten. Where things get complicated is reactions to the hit and run driver.

Situational context varies, but baseline civility and social standards are always in play. Being book smart won't improve one's interactions with others, only conscious engagement can do that.

Any healthy relationships involve emotions, conflict, and compromise. The third element being one of the most critical elements of maintaining a relationship of any sort. Someone who always has to have everything their way all the time, consider what that would be or is like for others.

Say Guy A clips his SO's dog backing out of the driveway on his way to work. Doesn't stop, doesn't tell her, just keeps driving. Guy A doesn't like SO's dog, he thinks it's a nuisance and he doesn't like the attention SO gives to the dog. SO hears the dog, and rushes out as Guy A turns onto the next street. SO bundles the dog off to the vet and drives home and immediately starts packing their belongings. Guy A's inaction is a deal breaker for SO.

Is SO overreacting, or did SO see a reality that cannot be unseen or resolved?

Social intelligence includes basics like civility and an ability to look for common ground, something that allows for a conscious (active furthering of) association, rather than artifice induced by forced proximity. Pets and food are usually pretty good topics without being banal.
 
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furkandorum said:
Only if i knew. As i grew up, i realized that just i can't get close with people. It's like something inside me is holding me back like "don't talk to them!". And when i do, my breath; my chest get screwed up. I can only be myself when i'm alone or when i'm with someone i knew for years, people i know from early childhood. Put the healthy relationships beside, i can't have any relationship with new people.
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Have you met others on the spectrum irl? How was your interaction with them?
 
Sarah S said:
Last with all due respect i personally find it most hurtful & highly dis respective when someone believe they are more worth than other less " gifted " persons just because they may have been " gifted" with higher intelligence than others. If those with greater intelligence (note NOT IQ) could rather than thinking they are better than others try to understand and help than this world but be a better place.
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(Consider that the OP is 17 and exhibits a poor Theory of Mind.)
 
Crossbreed said:
Factoring in TOM is not considered a "bash" here. It is the equivalent of "maybe we should cut him some slack..."
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Yeah after like 10-15 other posts of heavy of critique on this person you add "you have a poor Theory of Mind." to it.
 
Going to help the op regardless of his situation. Not go bananas on him. We dissected iq/intelligence which was not where he was going so by asking questions I think we can help this guy out hopefully.
 
I need a whole page of eye rolls after reading this. From what l see in life, getting ahead, is connections, education, money and so on. Yet you can have all that and still be a screw up, so high IQ is not a end all. Sorry to get off track, not sure what track we are even on.
 
Mary Terry said:
Some of the comments from the self-described geniuses make me wish for an eye roll emoji.
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Politeness is not intuitive to autistics. It has to be learned, and taught.
Someone who is gifted without autism would have a better sense of decorum on this matter.
 
Crossbreed said:
(Consider that the OP is 17 and exhibits a poor Theory of Mind.)
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I had no idea of this when i replied.

So now when i know lets try this shall we? When i was in youre age (OP ) i lived in a OPEN (no locks or behind any restrictions) Youth home (a GOOD one, i was in there 2 years in waiting for a foster home ) in a smaller county from being kicked out from home (it was in consensus i should add and by the social services )

Anyway i also did my 9 `th grade ( i was hold back to retake 5 Th grade by my mum hence the age difference of me 17 and still in 9 Th grade) in school over there and like you youre self sadly describe i was the schools outcast . I was treated and regarded by the entire school as a Retard as i didn't behave or anything like a "normal " teenager (it went so bad i actually got what's called adapted school meaning in my case i had to leave the school and got to work with a friendly local farmer for the last term (i LOVED it Btw)

What im trying to say here is like you i have been a outcast ALL my life (only in my case its due to my diagnosis & also i was born with lip and pallet cleft which shore didn't help things. I have been regarded and regarded as a retard & an idiot by just about everyone (incl my own dad up to adult age ) as well as the society/ school peers etc...

What i belive is youre main problem is that you overthink how you behave around new people and due to this you constantly try to be someone youre not so to say. Making you feel anxious and tense and this is probably making you studder and all the rest.

Theres NOTHING wrong with you. Its just that with this diagnosis we do have many problems in learning how to being able to fit in and understand the social cues of the non diagnosed peers around us. Add to this that teenager aren't really well known for being all accepting or even able to Understand others that's not behaving or think or in any way shape or form not fit in the so called " normal " mold. BUT as time goes they will. I can easily understand how hard it must be for you and feeling like youre from another planet (my self i have felt im from another universe) What i would suggest is try to learn and observe how other teenagers behave and communicate with each odder. And from that try to shall we say go down to their level so to say as best you can regardless how meaningless or stupid it may feel for you it don't matter its important for youre friends and so by showing them you can also show some interest and be an active listener youre friends will also show interest of you. Thats the noble art of small talk (something that took me MANY years of hard work and addapting from my part to learn & as its clear that you seem to be way more intelligent than me im shore you will be able to learn and adapt to all this as well if the will exist to do so.

And most definitely DONT begin to question if those around you are less intelligent and stupid, nor belive that you are of a higher standard and better than others just because you may be more intelligent than many others (And NO im not being sarcastic and i have NO problem in accepting others most around me being more intelligent than me. I am who i am and how i am and i haven't chosen to be born with all this mess of diagnosis messing my entire life up) BUT neither of this makes me less worth as human and i deserve the same respect as everyone else on this earth. Neither more or less.

What made me step in this thread was the remark of us with lower IQ was by you " Gorillas " (ie retards not worthy of the respect of the higher standard that you /those well above 100 + gifted persons. I had no idea that you are 17 back then. And i would also like to add that from my point after you further explained youre self we are all good between us. And last sadly its not the world around us that needs to change to our needs its US that needs to change and try to adapt as best we can to the world around us to be able to be accepted in the non diagnosed world that is around us.

Its all up to you if you are willing to try to learn / observe & adapt as best as you can. And again be willing to sometimes stoop down to below youre own levels to the levels of youre peers. And also try to dare being youre self and not so nervous about being you dear. My self i am what and who i am ( but that don't give me the right of being a jerk or look down on others or treat others badly) and if someone cant accept me as i am then they arent my reel friends and we can go separate ways. And also belive me or not those willing to and able to match youre own higher levels of conversations do exist out there its only a matter of finding them.
 
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