Even though I really love making music, sometimes it can be incredibly frustrating for me to work with other musicians. If people are reading off chord sheets rather than listening, and don't know the chords they are reading are wrong, or if they are getting the accents in the wrong places so they aren't locking in with the beat properly, or playing in an inappropriate register that makes their part jump out too much or clash with another instrument, to name a few examples, it almost physically hurts. In addition, my single-minded focus on the music overrides my ability to consider that not everyone is capable of processing and interpreting the small details and understanding how instruments interact with each other in an arrangement in quite the same way that I can. And that's not a good combination.
Working with other musicians is difficult for me, too! Your post helped clarify why for me. It's very, very hard to find people who have enough of a natural feel for rhythm and arrangements that works with your own.
I gave up seven years ago to focus on switching careers because I just didn't have the temperament for playing with bands. I also didn't have money or a car. But more so, I just didn't like the experience of having to make it all work.
The last bands I was in were with this guy who I'm pretty sure was an Aspie, looking back. He was very exact about how he wanted things, and I was fine with that because I could execute it, but I just didn't want to spend any more time with him. He was so into doing his own thing, and he was fixed about his principles as to what the band should be (artistically, that is) that when I thought about the future, I couldn't see it going anywhere with him leading it. (Imagine a young Robert Fripp without the genius.) And the rest of the band were all friends, and I was brought in because I knew them from way back.
Anyway, we had a few songs in that last band where we really locked, where we were all in the same pocket, and the arrangements worked, and it was great. After I left, they couldn't find another drummer who could play what they needed, and they folded. It's really, really hard to find good help!
I've since established another career, and I'm thinking about devoting energy to music again, but this time I'm going solo. I'm just going to make music for myself and work with the right people if they come along. I'm also going to read up on classical music theory and arrangement principles.