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Please help desperate mum here

F

F-shah

New Member
I have a 13-year-old autistic son who has always been calm, quiet, and respectful. He used to eat with a knife and fork, complete his daily chores without any issues, and his life was very organized, which brought us a lot of peace as parents.

However, in the past few weeks, his behavior has drastically changed. He now experiences severe aggressive outbursts, screaming at us, throwing things, and kicking. I've noticed that he gets stuck doing simple tasks like tying his shoelaces, eating, or getting up from the bed or sofa. He'll attempt a basic action repeatedly without success.

His MRI and CT scan results are normal, so I initially feared he might have a serious neurological issue. Yet, he behaves normally for some parts of the day. We've consulted physicians and support teams, but they haven't been able to help. He's been taking promethazine, but it has only worsened his condition.

From being a humble and calm child, he has become the complete opposite. Sometimes he gets stuck in the bathroom, trying endlessly to pull up his trousers, but then behaves normally the next time he goes. He's also stopped sleeping at night, spending the entire time sitting on the sofa staring at the wall. When we try to move him to his bed, he becomes extremely agitated and says his legs are stuck and won’t cooperate.

Has anyone experienced a similar situation or have any advice? Your help would be greatly appreciated.
 
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This sounds distressing for you, he has never been this way before?
Seconded on puberty, also curious about changes in his life over the last few months?
 
Roisin said:
This sounds distressing for you, he has never been this way before?
Seconded on puberty, also curious about changes in his life over the last few months?
Click to expand...
No he was never like this ever before . He was very calm , gentle , caring organized boy . Loved going on holidays never had any problem . Just in few days he is totally opposite .
 
Reading the first part of your post made me think it could just be something like a temporary regression during puberty, which I sort of had briefly when I was aged 13 and 14. But reading the second half of your post, and I don't want to alarm you, but sounds quite strange. If there are times when he's found sitting staring at the wall for ages and says he can't move his legs, yet doesn't happen all the time, I've never heard of that before. Reminds me of something like Epilepsy, NOT saying it is but it just reminds me of that because people with that function normally until a seizure comes on, and you say your son functions normally except during these random times when he's staring at the wall and can't move his legs.

But you said brain scans and that are normal. So I'm not sure what to suggest really.
 
Mary Terry said:
@F-shah - Could puberty have something to do with it? He's at that age when hormones start raging.
Click to expand...
Puberty combined with possibly forms of social rejection. At that precise age life can be miserable if your peers see to it on a daily basis.

He may be the victim of severe bullying while not wanting to even discuss it. A scenario that I had to deal with myself at that age. Probably the one time in my life with one too many meltdowns in front of bewildered family members.

Though for much of the time I kept them all in the dark over what I was experiencing at school. Raised in a military household where you were expected to defend yourself.
 
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Do you believe there isnt a medical reason? You were on holidays recently?
By changes I mean anything different eg something small like new clothes, or something different in school? New classmate, school ending, changes at home, new job etc
 
Antihistamines in myself have paradoxical effects even at very low doses and make me "loopy." I cannot sleep on antihistamines - I will be very tired, but cannot sleep. This includes Benadryl, Nyquil, and all these variants.
 
What are his experiences like when away from home?

Could be some sort of reaction to events happening outside your view (?).
 
@F-shah

Can you remember anything that is different now
from several weeks ago?

Including new furniture at home, meeting someone, different foods,
bedding, television programs...etc? If he attends classes, is there a
new student or teacher?
 
tree said:
@F-shah

Can you remember anything that is different now
from several weeks ago?

Including new furniture at home, meeting someone, different foods,
bedding, television programs...etc? If he attends classes, is there a
new student or teacher?
Click to expand...
Yess we recently changed sofa and a new television .
 
I have heard of changes in behavior in ASD kids and teens though not quite as drastic as what you describe. I would not call it rare or frequent either, just a significant percentage of kids.

It sounds like you are covering all the bases with professional medical help and I believe that the very best way to go. Medications can be tricky and finding the right one might take time. I am glad they immediately checked for neurological causes with MRI etc.

The only thing that catches my eye is that it occurred at age 13 when there are body/chemical changes in all kids, ASD and NT but that may simply be coincidence.
 
My son is not autistic. He is borderline Intellectually Disabled. At 13, he became defiant and even violent. He was thoroughly evaluated (which is how we know he's not autistic). Despite therapy, he escalated to the point that my wife was afraid to be alone in the house with him. From about 15 to 18 he was in several residential programs (several because he was kicked out of THOSE programs).
We never did learn why he "snapped". We adopted him at age 6. Therapy never uncovered anything.
He's in his 20s now, and married with a daughter. From what his wife tells us, he has made a complete turnaround.
 
Hello,

Most of your description of the situation is very much from an external perspective.

Have you been able to communicate with your son so he can explain what is going on from his perspective?
 
Atrapa Almas said:
Hello,

Most of your description of the situation is very much from an external perspective.

Have you been able to communicate with your son so he can explain what is going on from his perspective?
Click to expand...
His speech is very limited . When we ask him to get up let’s go bed time he says I’m stuck legs don’t work then he try to hit his legs ask us to tap his legs and then he do forward and backward movements and even question himself why I’m reverse and gets so much frustrated and stressed
 
@F-shah,
I am also wondering what his experiences outside the home are like. Does he go to school? Is he surrounded by peers daily? Is he cared for by trusted adults?

The way you describe how he used to be is somewhat extreme - maybe he's been holding things in for too long and has not had a way to express himself and communicate. Now with some internal (puberty) and external (the home environment) changes, maybe he is frustrated but doesn't have a way to clearly communicate that.

Many of us have suffered a regression of skills and abilities when we are feeling burnt out and your son could be experiencing something similar.
 
Get his B12/cobalamin checked. I drop down an ASD level and act a bit demented when I don't get my fix.

Also, please look into getting outside support from health providers, outreach charities, community, whomever. And enlist other adult family members. The aggression is particularly a concern that needs to be flagged and kept in check by a team, because you are a woman and he is a growing lad who will become a grown man with a man's bone density & muscle mass (that can do a lot of damage). You have to protect yourself first, put on your own oxygen mask before anyone else's including your child.

It's important that you don't have to handle this on your own--you may be his mother and you may have carried him, but all the same his autism is not 'your fault' and only your issue to handle, though because you're a woman with a unique child society and external elements probably will try to make you feel that way.
 
F-shah said:
His speech is very limited . When we ask him to get up let’s go bed time he says I’m stuck legs don’t work then he try to hit his legs ask us to tap his legs and then he do forward and backward movements and even question himself why I’m reverse and gets so much frustrated and stressed
Click to expand...
Can he write or communicate in other way?

Even if it takes some time, that info may prove to be important.
 
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