OK so you now intrigue me...why prior to your marriage.?.all.those attributes were important to you?? And now not...??..Whether you know or not...this could well be the most crucial part of my full understanding of what might be.(and yours apparently)...if not too too personal...please share ..would be so inciteful.. And if too poingnant I understand..Thank you anyway for the Insight...Flygirl x
Ok, I will answer your question, but remember, I feel not like an NT but not really Autistic either, but somewhere in between, if you read my last post to Streetwise.
Prior to my marriage, obviously I was single, so that meant I could be more choosy, and so the focus was in analyzing what was attractive to me in a woman, after having dated some, and through exploring my thoughts and feelings after having had all of my life experiences regarding such.
The more I saw skimpily clad women, the more I grew desensitized to that. This partially led me to want to find a woman that either had those traits I mentioned in my last post to you, that I valued, and were similar to that I had, or instead to meet a woman that had compatible traits.
I felt either is what could lead to long term relationship. Yes, looking like a model and her having confidence is attractive to most guys, but I see that as superficial. I look at things deeper. That physical stuff is short term excitement perhaps, but it does not lead to a healthy marriage I feel.
Also, the more I saw a woman that based their self-esteem on their sexuality, the more I saw this as possibly meaning they were not putting forth efforts elsewhere, or had beliefs that I could not relate to, as sex is a smaller need of mine. I am more attracted to a woman that can admit imperfection, or have a more well rounded side.
This does not mean she cannot have issues, as my wife has many, but, they are compatible issues. She needed help, and I liked helping there. My strengths are good to assist with her limitations or fears, and her abilities help me too in my needs. That is what is attractive to me, and not what she wears, or how naughty she looks. Deeper thinkers often need different or more. That is my opinion just.