Problems with making and keeping friends

[Judge]

I have the same problem. I also find it simply am not interested enough in making new friends as I'd rather stick to my comfort zone. I also say odd or inappropriate things that I think are good but others don't. I also can offend or upset people when I believe I am simply being rational.

In as much as we on the spectrum can be so different, I'm apt to speculate that what you posted may be very common for many of us. I know it applies to myself for sure. While on occasional I get out and make superficial social contacts, I don't seem to get much of out if these days and tend to be more content in near isolation. Even when on occasion it gets lonely.

Contradictory at times, but "it is what it is".

 

[Caitie33]

Several people on here have mentioned being "too intense." When I first started reading more about AS after recognizing myself one of the things that made me think maybe I'm not is that people on the spectrum are known for having trouble feeling empathy or relating to other people. I feel like I do both of those well but it still doesn't come across the same way as it does when other people are relating to each other. I guess thats a real deficit then if I feel like I am relating normally and mirroring how other people act and I'm really not. I tend to either feel completely uncomfortable with someone and not say anything or when I do feel comfortable around them it's like I say too much too soon and it scares them away.

 

[eliott8co]

Hey everyone,

I am new here.

I was wondering if anyone has trouble making and keeping friends?

I tend to find social situations really uncomfortable but sometimes I find people who fascinate me and I really want to be friends with them so I try to initiate friendship like how I pattern other people doing it. I get really sad because most of the time people find me too intense (I guess I have a problem with small talk) and they do not bother to get to know me further (although I desperatley would like to know them).

At the same time, I am oblivious to the fact that I apparently come across as blunt or cold to people who I am friends with or those who would like to be friends with me.

Its really hard, I feel like I am acting normal.

Yes, I do have trouble making friends too!