Query me this, don't ask me about that!

[Pats]

Also, echoing @Pats sentiment, I don’t feel truly anonymous here, some people on these forums I’ve come to regard as friends and I’m closer to some of you than I am with my local friends. I think I actually hang out less with my friends than I did before I joined these forums, because I have a lot of issues I can’t really discuss with them and I find the understanding I’m looking for on these forums.

I’ve also broken the rule of anonymity by sharing my address and real name with one of the members on these forums so we can send each other postcards and tiny gifts.

I like the idea of notes and little gifts.
But there's also a couple big issues that I don't have to deal with at my age and might be more cautious if I were younger. One, I don't work so I don't have to worry about how an employer or possible employer might use it. Same with family - I'm done raising my kids so nothing should interfere with that. I know people have been fired for things they have posted and postings have been used to help get custody away from someone. If I was worried about anyone learning about my autism, I would be MORE anonymous. But my age, I don't care who knows what about me.

 

[Streetwise]

Do you feel more comfortable discussing your quirks, flirts, perks, hurts, because this is anonymous?

Are you ever paranoid that this forum of self confession will follow you around somehow?

yep Regularly

 

[Major Tom]

And here I thought your name was Major..

Seriously though, you must have a lot of past trauma to have that level of cynicism.. And I thought *I* was cynical about people.

Call me cynical if you wish, I call it self-preservation. I have had people from my life find me here and it scared the bejesus out of me. People I have no wish to be in contact with..

 

[Varzar]

Call me cynical if you wish, I call it self-preservation. I have had people from my life find me here and it scared the bejesus out of me. People I have no wish to be in contact with..

Call it whichever.. I don't see either as a negative..
That would be rather disconcerting if people from your life found you here..

 

[Aspychata]

Call me cynical if you wish, I call it self-preservation. I have had people from my life find me here and it scared the bejesus out of me. People I have no wish to be in contact with..

That is creepy. Especially if you truly seek being incognito because of that.

 

[paloftoon]

Even though it is true that in most places, one's profile is not encrypted, it's not worth being paranoid about having the extra protection or not. Just enjoy the Internet for what it is and try to manage our emotions and situations as well as we can. In life, we have to try to take educated risks.

 

[Magpie]

It's interesting because some of us grew up with computers, and some of us didn't. I had to raise my daughter in the digital age and l don't know if l should have been more restrictive or not. I still can't answer that question. But it's a teenage thing to be glued to your phone. I have younger co-workers who always have their phone close by. So adults are more standoffish then the younger kids about using your name online.

One employer sat a group of recent hired- on staff , and said our media accounts would be checked and would be monitored so to be aware, a past employer of mine.

aspychata, does that mean despite my pen name my employer can still find me on this site?

 

[Magpie]

Do you feel more comfortable discussing your quirks, flirts, perks, hurts, because this is anonymous?

Are you ever paranoid that this forum of self confession will follow you around somehow?

I typically enjoy my anonymity. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I am a private person. It takes me a long time to let others in, in the meantime however, it’s really nice to know through my shares I’m not alone

 

[Magpie]

Call me cynical if you wish, I call it self-preservation. I have had people from my life find me here and it scared the bejesus out of me. People I have no wish to be in contact with..

Gosh, I didn’t know that could happen. Ick, I’ve been cyber stalked before, makes me a little paranoid

 

[Schism]

A little paranoia is healthy for a bit of self preservation I find, real people & online anonymous. I do worry sometimes about what I've said being too revealing.
EG. If someone who knew me in RL came here fishing & found a post of mine relating to something they knew about recently in RL, my identity may be busted I suppose. But without knowing my user name here, it would be highly unlikely as so many topics to choose from!
Also, as a lot of things I have revealed & said are pretty close to other people's experiences here, it would never be certain. I also feel comfortable here (altho' Anon) & being able to be totally honest is refreshing. So I lay aside my paranoia hat here ☺

 

[Aspychata]

Guess it's interesting to see where people fall on the line of- l have to rethink before l put a single word down , or screw it, let the chips fall wherever, it's a gamble l am willing to deal with. It seems to be a pretty good mix of opinions just proving how diverse we are.

 

[onlything]

I would never talk about some things if it wasn't anonymous. To be honest, even here, with the people that (I hope) don't wish me ill, I can feel quite paranoid. But I always do. This kind of information was used against me before and the paranoia stayed.

 

[Aspychata]

I would never talk about some things if it wasn't anonymous. To be honest, even here, with the people that (I hope) don't wish me ill, I can feel quite paranoid. But I always do. This kind of information was used against me before and the paranoia stayed.

Sorry to hear that. Guess it's good to talk about this. Sometimes my life feels like a tabloid news where l think people know more about it then l do. But then l rest in my older age privilege which really means * too old to care, now leave me alone while l hang out and contemplate my golden years until l can't remember them anymore.*

 

[Aspychata]

aspychata, does that mean despite my pen name my employer can still find me on this site?

This is people who use their name like on Facebook etc. Big corporate companies want to keep a clean sanitized media presence because this does affect their bottom line.

 

[Aspychata]

I would never talk about some things if it wasn't anonymous. To be honest, even here, with the people that (I hope) don't wish me ill, I can feel quite paranoid. But I always do. This kind of information was used against me before and the paranoia stayed.

Onlything- l have had so much stuff used against me that l have lost count. I have even been accused of things l don't do. Then l decided to own It. Yes, all those things that l did or didn't do, or that has defintely happened to me is all mine, l claim responsibility for all of It, the good, the bad, and the in between stuff. This has just made you a stronger person in the end. So l embrace that side, l am still here learning everyday something new. Nobody can hurt you unless you allow them too. We can take ownership of that too.

 

[Schism]

I think how our emotional or mental state is at the time also influences our choices. If I am really going through the wringer about something, I will be a little more careless in being careful. Especially if I've had a drink because of that!!
Rational posting only occurs when I am calm, curious & generally in a good mindset. I tend to be a lot kinder & intellectual then lol ☺

(I liked your comment about 'owning it even if not true' btw. I just wish I could chose to not let it hurt me. That I can never have a choice in. It just does).

 

[Major Tom]

Nobody can hurt you unless you allow them too. We can take ownership of that too.

This isn't always necessarily true. Some people can destroy you, whether you think they can or not. Yea, for the most part if you let everything roll off you like water off a ducks back, it helps a ton. But sometimes people actually try to inflict damage upon you. Be it your persona, your job, your life in general etc.

 

[onlything]

Onlything- l have had so much stuff used against me that l have lost count. I have even been accused of things l don't do. Then l decided to own It. Yes, all those things that l did or didn't do, or that has defintely happened to me is all mine, l claim responsibility for all of It, the good, the bad, and the in between stuff. This has just made you a stronger person in the end. So l embrace that side, l am still here learning everyday something new. Nobody can hurt you unless you allow them too. We can take ownership of that too.

That's brave. Me, well, I've always been quite a coward. That one label I will own.

Concerning hurt... With the kind of material available on this site, someone could give you a lot of trouble. Just little tidbits of information and they could ruin relationships you have with your friends or family, any kind of social standing you may have worked for, career you care for so much... If you geta certain reputation, it's so much more difficult to fight it and you can't even do some jobs once you're labelled autistic, depressed, mentally unstable etc. It's a lot of dirt that can easily hurt you. Maybe not so much when, as you say, you're old enough not to care but otherwise, well, never underestimate spite and hatred people are capable of for no reason.

 

[Aspychata]

That's brave. Me, well, I've always been quite a coward. That one label I will own.

Concerning hurt... With the kind of material available on this site, someone could give you a lot of trouble. Just little tidbits of information and they could ruin relationships you have with your friends or family, any kind of social standing you may have worked for, career you care for so much... If you geta certain reputation, it's so much more difficult to fight it and you can't even do some jobs once you're labelled autistic, depressed, mentally unstable etc. It's a lot of dirt that can easily hurt you. Maybe not so much when, as you say, you're old enough not to care but otherwise, well, never underestimate spite and hatred people are capable of for no reason.

@Major Tom Nobody can ruin me, there has been much effort in that respect. I just say * next in line*. I lived a very fulfilling lifetime, l don't feel the need to impress anyone, l just come as myself and let the haters hate. Nobody can destroy you. I am proof of that. Because in the end it's hype, and you decide what to believe or not believe. But if you chose to believe that people can ruin you, then that is your opinion and nothing l say will change that.

@onlything- if you own the label of coward, then l have much to learn from you. You have proved yourself to be brave to actually say that. I spent my entire lifetime faking being brave that now l am brave. Kinda of ironic in the end. I decided to face everything head on, because my grandmother came here from another country because of bullies. So time to face the music, and love the journey.

 

[Streetwise]

@Major Tom There are a lot of real life trolls because their life sucks. Nobody can ruin me, there has been much effort in that respect. I just say * next in line*. I lived a very fulfilling lifetime, l don't feel the need to impress anyone, l just come as myself and let the haters hate. Nobody can destroy you. I am proof of that. Because in the end it's hype, and you decide what to believe or not believe. But if you chose to believe that people can ruin you, then that is your opinion and nothing l say will change that.

@onlything- if you own the label of coward, then l have much to learn from you. You have proved yourself to be brave to actually say that. I spent my entire lifetime faking being brave that now l am brave. Kinda of ironic in the end. I decided to face everything head on, because my grandmother came here from another country because of bullies. So time to face the music, and love the journey.

strange I was called a troll on Facebook because I wouldn’t say all Muslims have the life ruined the Way Jews do,They seem to discount everything I said about the Jews