Reasons to live?

[Metalhead]

I suppose spite in the face of the tens of millions of people who want me to die is a good enough reason for me to stay sober, to stay physically active, to keep building myself up. The initial shock is over. I apologize for my self pity. Now it is time for me to seize my personal power.

 

[Harmonie]

Times are rough. My move to my new state has not been smooth. Getting a job has been and continues to be a horrible, drawn-out experience. But now doubtlessly even rougher times are ahead. And I can effectively consider myself a refugee from my old state now as it isn't safe to go back, period.

A couple of nights ago I had a few moments of such severe depression that I felt like curling in a ball and dying. But I am okay (well I'm not, but I mean I'm not feeling such thoughts anymore), and I have a natural strong will to live that is hard to chip at.

I don't believe in an afterlife or anything like that so I think this is it, this is all that "I" will experience. Thus no matter how awful things may be at any given moment, my life is something I naturally treasure. It's a wonder of nature.

I have an endless amount of curiosity and enjoy learning new things. I get a lot of pleasure out of music, TV shows, video games, etc. - and love finding new ones! I love my family (including my dogs) and my friends. I also am extremely offended by injustice and suffering, and that last one would likely keep me driving if nothing else. There is a lot of injustice and suffering right now and we're only on a clear path to increase that in my country and I am on fire to do whatever I can to mitigate and stop it (peacefully) with a passion much like righteous indignation.

 

[Suzette]

Hey Metalhead, it has been awhile. I don't know if you remember me or not but when you first showed up on this forum you reminded me of my son. That hasn't changed. He could have started your post himself.

Reasons to live? I am just that damn stubborn! When I was at rock bottom, scraping the wood off the bottom of the barrel bottom, stubborness is the only thing that kept me going.

I was living an F life and I just thought that was so daomn unfair that I couldn't check out because then I would never win at anything. Never, ever, give up.

I have been sad for two days and I don't think that will change soon. But I am not going to give up.

I know I will disappoint some people. I know I will make some others angry.

I will never be "sucessful" and I have to work really hard to just live an average life that isn't a disaster. Nothing is easy.

But I will never, ever, give up!

 

[Misery]

Something was taught to kids from my generation that doesn't seem to get taught any more.

Happiness is a decision you make.

The world is what it is. Wether or not you want to be happy or miserable is a decision you make, it's not just something that happens by itself. If you are constantly seeking out movies, music and social media stories that are on the dark side and emphasising dark thoughts that's because you have decided that you want to keep thinking those dark thoughts and being miserable.

You could instead if you wish start focusing on the brighter things in life and be happy. The choice is yours.

And yes, it really is that simple and straightforward.

Yeah, I'll just second this.

I had a rough time with this lesson myself, but holy freaking heck am I grateful to the one that essentially forced me to learn it.

I apologize for my self pity.

There's nothing to apologize for, nothing to blame yourself for.

Sudden, super stressful events can do this to us... it's just part of being human. It's a natural reaction. And being on the spectrum just amplifies that (at least I think it does).

And if anyone does try to shame you for something like that, well, heck with them.

Ya know, you mentioned binging stuff... why not take a weekend, or even a week, where you just sit back and give yourself some "you" time? Like a funky sort of vacation that doesnt require you to go somewhere. Have a couple of nights where it's nothing but revisiting your favorite movies or whatever and being like "oh man, I'd almost forgotten how good this one was". Those moments are great pushback against what you went through.

At the very least, PLEASE just stay away from social media and whatnot. Entirely regardless of what you think about... what just happened, it's going to be a screaming pile of gorillas flinging poo at each other for awhile now... there's nothing productive or useful about that.

But YOU get to make the decision of whether or not you engage with that nonsense.

 

[Suzette]

At the very least, PLEASE just stay away from social media and whatnot. Entirely regardless of what you think about... what just happened, it's going to be a screaming pile of gorillas flinging poo at each other for awhile now... there's nothing productive or useful about that.

That is a very useful image. Let's just hope the gorillas manage to stay in the zoo.

 

[Metalhead]

There's nothing to apologize for, nothing to blame yourself for.

Sudden, super stressful events can do this to us... it's just part of being human. It's a natural reaction. And being on the spectrum just amplifies that (at least I think it does).

And if anyone does try to shame you for something like that, well, heck with them.

Ya know, you mentioned binging stuff... why not take a weekend, or even a week, where you just sit back and give yourself some "you" time? Like a funky sort of vacation that doesnt require you to go somewhere. Have a couple of nights where it's nothing but revisiting your favorite movies or whatever and being like "oh man, I'd almost forgotten how good this one was". Those moments are great pushback against what you went through.

At the very least, PLEASE just stay away from social media and whatnot. Entirely regardless of what you think about... what just happened, it's going to be a screaming pile of gorillas flinging poo at each other for awhile now... there's nothing productive or useful about that.

But YOU get to make the decision of whether or not you engage with that nonsense.

I just started playing through the Yakuza games on the Xbox. I will binge through as much as one of them as I can this weekend, but I really do think I need to spend some time volunteering for the local LGBT advocate groups and fighting back legitimately to help keep my head level.

 

[Outdated]

....but I really do think I need to spend some time volunteering for the local LGBT advocate groups and fighting back legitimately to help keep my head level.

I'm pretty heavily in to politics in my own country too, vastly different situation to yours, but I found I have to pace myself and choose my battles carefully otherwise I burn out. So I only pitch in where I believe my input will make a difference.

 

[PHOton]

I may have told this story before. When I was a brand new geologist, on the first day of my first job, a senior geologist handed me a rock asked me what I made of it. I didn't have a clue. But I realized that my education and studies were nothing more than a background foundation, and my REAL education was just beginning. I am retired now for over ten years, and I consider that education still ongoing. And I still have a piece of that rock.

Between then and now, I realized that learning was not important, it was UNDERSTANDING that gave it meaning. And that understanding allowed me to see and appreciate the wonders and beauty of this world and the universe. Every day I see and appreciate new things, wondrous things. I always try to pass on this knowledge. Not necessarily the specifics, but the ability to see and understand. And THAT is what keeps me going.

I agree completely, the ability to see something and in my head, breaking it down to the fundamental keeps me calm because I feel like I flow or in sync with what is happening with that thing (matter). It feels good to be here again

 

[SusanLR]

Reasons to live? The alternative sucks hard.

Fear of dying. Yeah, that is pretty much the sum total.
Just try to find beauty in what you can.
Rocks? Heck, yes.
Birds? Nature, forests, plants, insects and all animals.
It's all there.

 

[Suzette]

fighting back legitimately to help keep my head level.

A friend once asked me why I am so into politics. I replied "I like a little outrage with my morning coffee." It's true. I remind myself of the vulgarities so that I do not become inured to the unjust. We can not fight what we forget.

 

[Forest Cat]

A friend once asked me why I am so into politics. I replied "I like a little outrage with my morning coffee." It's true. I remind myself of the vulgarities so that I do not become inured to the unjust. We can not fight what we forget.

Hi Suzette Some people here were wondering what happend to you. Nice to see you again.

 

[Suzette]

Hi Suzette Some people here were wondering what happend to you. Nice to see you again.

Thank you!

 

[Mary Terry]

Thank you!

Didn't you live on a sailboat for awhile? I wondered what happened.

 

[Ken]

but I really do think I need to spend some time volunteering for the local LGBT advocate groups and fighting back legitimately to help keep my head level.

Now your talking. Surely the reason to live is not restricted to personal entertainment.

You provide far more benefit to others than you realize. Even right here on this forum.
Your personal value is your deeds. And your deeds are always more valuable than you think. In fact, there is no such thing as a trivial deed. You inspire and benefit others when you don't even know you did anything. Priceless.

 

[Suzette]

Hey Ken, can I give you two awards for that response? It is very uplifting and I love it!

 

[Ken]

Hey Ken, can I give you two awards for that response? It is very uplifting and I love it!

Wow, Thank you.
It's great to see you back again. You have been missed by all of us since you sailed away. I do hope you experienced smooth sailing on your nautical adventures.

I learned about "deeds" from "Freak" in the movie "The Mighty". One of the most powerful "Life Lesson" movies I have ever seen. Had to watch it several times to figure out the meaning. (Had to buy the DVD). It's not complicated, its message is just so powerful. It is a story that I intimately relate to. I often watch it just for therapy. I too am a freak. I know because everyone calls me a freak. This was so common in my early school years that I finally decided to own it. Yes! I am a freak. I am not mundane or typical or common. I don't fit in. I am a freak and I'm totally proud of it.

 

[Suzette]

Wow, Thank you.
It's great to see you back again. You have been missed by all of us since you sailed away. I do hope you experienced smooth sailing on your nautical adventures.

I learned about "deeds" from "Freak" in the movie "The Mighty". One of the most powerful "Life Lesson" movies I have ever seen. Had to watch it several times to figure out the meaning. (Had to buy the DVD). It's not complicated, its message is just so powerful. It is a story that I intimately relate to. I often watch it just for therapy. I too am a freak. I know because everyone calls me a freak. This was so common in my early school years that I finally decided to own it. Yes! I am a freak. I am not mundane or typical or common. I don't fit in. I am a freak and I'm totally proud of it.

Thank you for the warm welcome. I have missed you all too. I will watch that movie tonight if I can stream it.

 

[Ken]

Metalhead, regarding the "deeds" I have mentioned. You must understand that one of your priceless deeds that helps others, is just you being here. Even when you post negative posts. It's still "family". You are a member of us and the very simplicity of your being here - your life - is a priceless gift to us all.
That, all by itself, is a reason to live.

 

[Chimorin]

I suppose spite in the face of the tens of millions of people who want me to die is a good enough reason for me to stay sober, to stay physically active, to keep building myself up. The initial shock is over. I apologize for my self pity. Now it is time for me to seize my personal power.

I get you there. For me I just wake up now, there all there is to it. Don’t get me wrong, life has not been easy (never is), and admittedly I’ve tried doing stupid stuff to myself, but it failed, and like I said, I’m still here. I wake up, I’ve got a bed and I know when my next meal is. I have that at least.