Reasons to Not Self-Harm

[Fino]

I've never been able to think of very good reasons. I don't really see what the big deal is. I stopped because a friend of mine insisted, and when I asked him why it was bad, he said something like, "I can't explain why, I just know it's unhealthy."

Here are reasons you don't need to mention, unless you'd like to elaborate on why you believe they're more compelling than I think:
1. Scars
2. Possibility of unintended serious harm
3. It's not good, stop
4. It's addictive
5. Just squeeze ice or use a rubberband

That's all I got. Are there any other reasons?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I've never been able to think of very good reasons. I don't really see what the big deal is. I stopped because a friend of mine insisted, and when I asked him why it was bad, he said something like, "I can't explain why, I just know it's unhealthy."

Here are reasons you don't need to mention, unless you'd like to elaborate on why you believe they're more compelling than I think:
1. Scars
2. Possibility of unintended serious harm
3. It's not good, stop
4. It's addictive
5. Just squeeze ice or use a rubberband

That's all I got. Are there any other reasons?

Is it self-harm or stimming?

I can go for some serious head scratching.

Self harm is perhaps a corollary to the need.

If ,indeed, it is even stimming.

reason 6, should set people off :-

6. It's socially inappropriate.

 

[SusanLR]

I can't give any reasons.
Your body, your choice.

I've just always wondered why people want to.
Like cutters for example.
Just always wondered what the psychological reason for wanting pain is.

I have the lip biting and skin picking stuff.
Something on my body is not feeling right, anxiety increases the sensation of
say loose skin around nails, I want to get rid of how it feels so I pick at it.

6. It's socially inappropriate

Yeah, I could care less on that one.

 

[Otenba]

It can frighten other people, and potentially push them away because they don't know how to help you feel better to stop hurting yourself.

 

[Monachopia]

Additional reasons for stopping are:

- It emotionally hurts people surrounding the person; it's not easy to watch someone struggle and feel useless in the ability to help. So sometimes, stopping is for other people if one cannot stop for themselves.

- It doesn't solve the complex internal pain, and only adds to feelings of worthlessness. It may provide temporary relief, but, in the end only piles additional trauma on top of everything else.

- Self-harm is a way to process and externalise pain, but, it's a temporary fix. It's a symptom of something far greater that one is afraid of facing. If left alone that inner demon will grow and the self-harm will become more and more extreme to cope. It's a cycle that will repeat itself until there is nothing left.

I understand from a personal perspective that SH becomes a 'friend' of sorts because so many of us are unable to verbalise how we feel. It becomes the only way to let things out. But, it's not productive in the grand scheme of things. It's a trap to keep a person inside that prison.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Agree with Monochopia. But #2 is the most compelling reason. Important for you to determine if you are actually stimming or whether your self harm is of more serious nature and entails a risk of serious injury (e.g. cutting or swallowing dangerous or sharp objects). And yes it can be sort of addictive for some people. So may be useful to examine the function for yourself. If it's mild and more like stimming then probably not harmful but maybe best done in private so you don't incur society's rejection per reason 6. If it carries risk of serious injury then it's important to get the help you need to stop it and find other ways to deal with stress & pain reactions which minimize any risk of serious injury.

 

[Progster]

I have never self harmed, so I can't speak from personal experience and I don't know how valid my comments are, but: it doesn't solve anything. It's an outward manifestation of inner, unresolved pain, and in order to be resolved, the root cause of the inner pain needs to be addressed. Self-harm won't make problems go away.
Also, cuts and wounds can become infected if not treated correctly.

 

[Gracey]

Blood letting was a medical thing historically. Cutting to release the demons.

If it isn’t a stim, would it be a systematic process to destroy the self ?

Anger or frustration turned in on self then released (?) through injury. (Outlet/pressure release valve)

Body’s own pain relief released when injured... a way to stop ‘the pain’ ?
If not drinking or using drugs.

Subconscious Suicide on drip feed ?

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I used to self harm by cutting, I can't truly rationalise or explain why I did it, but attempting to externalise the overwhelming internal pain of severe depression was a big part of it. The reason I stopped was seeing how much it hurt my mum when she found out what I was doing, so my immediate thought for "why not to do it" was the pain it causes loved ones. I haven't cut in almost a decade but have very visible scars on my arms and it makes people uncomfortable to see them, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable when people ask me about them, so I'd add that as another reason not to : saving yourself and others discomfort. I also agree with everything @Monachopia said.

That said, generally I hold the opinion that you should be able to do whatever you want with your body, I certainly still do things to my body, or more specifically get other people to do things to my body, which many people would be horrified by and which are not socially accepted, but I don't think it's anyone's business aside for the consenting adults directly involved.

However, to me the main concern about self-harm is the reason for it. If you want to hurt your-self, why not, it's your body, but what is it that makes you want to do it? For the vast majority of self-harmers I think the answer to that is that mental illness is the cause, which is the thing to truly be concerned about.

 

[Sarah S]

I would say

1 ) it DONT help any and it only feels good for millisecond or two
2 ) usely hell to pay after worth in additional pain & or hospital bills
3) id say the same principals as to NOT try to commit suicide , Its NOT have NOT will NOT EVER be a productive solution to this or any problems

 

[Mia]

Probably because it's a short-term solution that hurts. The punishing of oneself is related to feelings of guilt, shame even remorse.

With the punishment, whether it be gambling, drugs or alcohol, obsessive shopping, extreme exercise, denying oneself food, comes a moment of self-soothing. A quiet, oblivious peaceful white noise that stops the vindictive self-dialogue for a moment.

Feeling good is not something people with negative self-views think they should own or have. They think somehow that they deserve the pain, and it's likely related to punishment in childhood. We carry it with us into adulthood, in a botched attempt to self-parent ourselves. So, in that way we continue the tradition, rather than attempting the repair of those open psychological wounds.

 

[LadyBird84]

- Doing it once makes me want to do it more often until I'm doing it all the time.
- Going to the ER is traumatizing in my experience and I don't need more of that.

 

[interim]

It's highly disrespectful while you are trying to communicate with someone!

Long time ago, when I was young, I was talking with this girl on Skype, highly depressed since the man she loved (and of course it was not me), dumped her. I mean permanently depressed... We were communicating more then a year, maybe even two. She found me, she wanted to be with a guy that can value her, understand her. And I gave her so much time, so much support... I was delusional, that we are going somewhere, she was the one. We were so compatible as characters, I never believe this can happen. Anyway, she got very slow answering at some point (on this Skype talk). I ask her what is going on, is there a problem? And she said - ah, nothing, I'm just cutting myself and it started bleeding too much... This was the point I finally got it - it would never work. She will never really love me. It doesn't matter what I do, it doesn't matter how close I got., the previous guy f her first, broke her heart, and it's nothing left for me.

Anyway, that's a good reason - if there is someone special to you, better show that he has positive effect on your life...

 

[tducey]

I went through a period 9 yrs. ago of self harm. It only lasted a few days but it was a very low point of my life. It's something I never want to go through again and to anyone who is contemplating self harm to talk with their loved ones.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I used to punch myself really hard until I had bruises all over my arms and legs, but then one time when I was at the dentist the hygienist noticed them and I didn't want her to think someone else had done it but didn't want her to know I had done it to myself. I still do it sometimes when I get really angry and upset.

 

[Nauti]

I used to cut, pull out hair, starve myself and smash my head into walls, as a teen.

I still pick sores, it's a bit of a stim for me.

I'm not proud of it.

It's a mal adaptive, non - loving-to-myself thing to do, in my opinion.

I prefer to love myself, rather than abuse myself.

I want to be a good example to my children.

It would upset people I care about.

I have enough problems and hardships, without adding to them.

That behaviour doesn't help me feel any better about myself, and I like feeling better about myself.

I think of it as immature behaviour.

It's potentially dangerous, I nearly hit an artery, in my upper arm once, I would have died, I'm pretty sure, if I had, because my parents were very neglectful.

It's due to faulty thinking and emotional dysregulation and I prefer to focus on learning to think well and become emotionally regulated and so I put my energy into that, instead of habitual go-nowhere habit-patterns of behaviour. They are just a round and round, cyclic "merry"-go-round, rather than learning to respond to life and emotional triggers in a responsible and ever-maturing, wisdom-increasing.manner. I want to make progress in my life, not react, like an emo teen, all my life.I can't build self respect, if I react in that immature manner.

 

[Fino]

Is it self-harm or stimming?

Self-harm.

Specifically, burning by turning the lighter "on,"--I don't know how to describe the flicking open of the flame and none of this terminology sounds right but hopefully it makes sense--keeping the flame for 20-30 seconds, letting it go, and then pressing the now-heated metal against your skin, resulting in a second degree burn.

Just always wondered what the psychological reason for wanting pain is.

Gracey has a lot of good explanations I agree with, and an elaboration on one of them, and the apparently primary reason in my experience, is that the sudden pain causes a rush (adrenaline rush?), your hair stands on end, and, for a some amount of time, the anxiety is gone.

Simply put, anxiety is the reason.

- It emotionally hurts people surrounding the person; it's not easy to watch someone struggle and feel useless in the ability to help. So sometimes, stopping is for other people if one cannot stop for themselves.

Not telling anyone solves this problem.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

keeping the flame for 20-30 seconds, letting it go, and then pressing the now-heated metal against your skin, resulting in a second degree burn.

So this what you have stopped?

What else?

Try getting candles, pouring hot wax on to yourself hurts, causes a red mark - no damage
You could also hold your hand above the flame..
(Harm reduction,still with similar use of pain)

Stopping altogether is likely better.



Did those years ago, didn't call it self harm but ''fun"

How do you feel after you've done it?

Calm, I guess.

 

[Adora]

It’s not a solution and it can become a vicious cycle,I use to self harm and it didn’t resolve anything,another reason is you deserve to be kind to yourself and don’t deserve the self punishment you give yourself.

 

[SusanLR]

Gracey has a lot of good explanations I agree with, and an elaboration on one of them, and the apparently primary reason in my experience, is that the sudden pain causes a rush (adrenaline rush?), your hair stands on end, and, for a some amount of time, the anxiety is gone.

Simply put, anxiety is the reason.

Yes, that is different to the anxiety stimmings I do like the skin picking, lip biting, etc.
Sounds like some self punishment too.
Like wanting to hurt back if someone hurts you.

I guess I don't feel self guilt, just the anxiety that feels unbearable at times.
And depression.
It makes me feel like a caged, pacing animal that just wants out.
Maybe that's why I use an illusional blue jaguar for my avatar.
And the blue butterfly so beautiful means freedom that only taunts me.

Personally I don't like pain.
Guess I'd be on a high all the time,
instead it's a low. Doesn't feel good, but, it's gone on for so long it feels familiar.
It helps dampen the anxiety sometimes for me.

Try getting candles, pouring hot wax on to yourself hurts, causes a red mark - no damage
You could also hold your hand above the flame..
(Harm reduction,still with similar use of pain)

I did that too, and thought of it more as fun.

Most humans desire adrenaline rush.
From thinking it fun, (wreckless driving, rollercoasters).
To various other assorted vices.

When I was young mine came in a bottle.
Again, a temporary fix and fortunately a temporary phase.