Werefang
Member
So I don’t have an Autistic diagnosis just yet. Waiting until Wednesday to see my Autistic therapist through video chat to see if I got it. I am turning 40 years old by the end of this month. I just had a recent breakup where the wounds are still fresh and trying to heal. I am coming to terms with a lot of the repetitive issues I have had for years with all my relationships with women. I am a lesbian and have been for years…
This was my first experience with an Autistic person. I didn’t know much about Autism until I dated her. She taught me a few things and loved me for me. Never judged me or tried to change me… She knew before hand I have BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety (undiagnosed at the time) and bad relationship experiences. She has PTSD, severe depression disorder, and Anxiety. She broke it off because I kept trying to break up with her, kept starting arguments when she opened up about her feelings, twisting her words, putting words in her mouth, basically emotionally abused her, and putting standards for every unsolicited advice I gave her…
She tried to be patient with me but I guess I pushed her too far… I did start seeing a therapist after she told me she would break it off if I didn’t get help. But the issues continued even after that… I guess she was gonna try to give the friendship a chance but I guess I ruined that too by threatening her to expose her to everyone… x-x At the time I was just so argumentative…
Do you think she will ever forgive me, remove the block and try to talk to me…? I am worried… Scared to loose her and still love her very much. I sent her a healing letter only few days ago… Not sure if she will read it or not. It’s handwritten… Six pages long. In it I shared with her how serious I have become about getting help and the changes I am making to improve my overall self. That I am open to her and I meeting face to face to talk about anything. Or even via texts or letters..
I told her how much I love her and miss her… That I understand now my behavior was unacceptable and will start taking accountability. She only lives one city away…
Any advice would be really helpful…
This was my first experience with an Autistic person. I didn’t know much about Autism until I dated her. She taught me a few things and loved me for me. Never judged me or tried to change me… She knew before hand I have BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Anxiety (undiagnosed at the time) and bad relationship experiences. She has PTSD, severe depression disorder, and Anxiety. She broke it off because I kept trying to break up with her, kept starting arguments when she opened up about her feelings, twisting her words, putting words in her mouth, basically emotionally abused her, and putting standards for every unsolicited advice I gave her…
She tried to be patient with me but I guess I pushed her too far… I did start seeing a therapist after she told me she would break it off if I didn’t get help. But the issues continued even after that… I guess she was gonna try to give the friendship a chance but I guess I ruined that too by threatening her to expose her to everyone… x-x At the time I was just so argumentative…
Do you think she will ever forgive me, remove the block and try to talk to me…? I am worried… Scared to loose her and still love her very much. I sent her a healing letter only few days ago… Not sure if she will read it or not. It’s handwritten… Six pages long. In it I shared with her how serious I have become about getting help and the changes I am making to improve my overall self. That I am open to her and I meeting face to face to talk about anything. Or even via texts or letters..
I told her how much I love her and miss her… That I understand now my behavior was unacceptable and will start taking accountability. She only lives one city away…
Any advice would be really helpful…