Refusal To Conform

[Ronald Zeeman]

Nature dictates watched one good u-tube video on this a stats guy puts out one video a week women and men have different motives. Current model designed for men. Saw good video on this. My sister and wife lucked out not follow ing this model. More luck than intent.

 

[jsilver256]

That part doesn't compute.

No, it doesn't compute and for good reason. Most of people are unreliable narrators online. We conveniently live off important context which would cast us in a bad light or make the lack of dating success more understandable why.

 

[thejuice]

I wasnt very successful at dating because im attention deficit and forgot to try lol Luckily 90% of the time i like being alone. Chris Packam has it right, live with a pack of dogs in the woods and a girlfriend that visits occasionally

Also my doctor told me to lose weight. I think he has my best interest in mind !!

I can do the gym bit, harder to put down the fork ...

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I hate being alone. I hate it so much. I like company especially women but I find like the OP very hard to find single women to befriend. I can make many friends with married women easily which is frustrating but I am so use to it I now accept it.

I too have lost weight and even went back to the gym but it never made a difference in the types of women I befriended again women always in relationships.

 

[velociraptor]

There are countless "shorts", tictock videos, etc of women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and even 60s that say they're desperate for a relationship but can't find a "good" man.

There is a real problem with unrealistic expectations. People need to realize that life is largely a compromise between what you love to do and what you need to do to keep going, and that includes finding a mate.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I think Rocco had some great advice for you, Kevin. I would add that dating itself is very unnatural. People understandably compare it to a job interview, and hoping for a spark--which could then lead to building a life together--isn't how a lot of real connection happens. Perhaps you might make a female friend in a class or group at school, and see what happens from there.

Relationships and marriage are what you make them. Many people are unfulfilled today, but don't let extreme ideas of these things deter you. If marriage was so great in the past, we wouldn't have The Feminine Mystique. At least today you don't have to be trapped in a marriage, legally. And infidelity is certainly nothing new. The great thing for you is you don't seem to have rigid views of what a man/woman or husband/wife should be. Avoid a lot of online discussion, which is driven by money, bitterness, and resentment, and see what happens in real life. Take time to get to know someone and you'll be far more successful. You only need one right person, right?

 

[Cryptid]

I was being told the only way to go on dates is through improving my body.

I don’t want to do that. I want to change things.

Improvement is a form of change.

Others have received this same advice: In order to attract women, you need to make yourself attractive to the kind of women you want to attract, so work on self-improvement in every way. This includes emotional, mental, and physical improvement.

 

[jsilver256]

Improvement is a form of change.

Others have received this same advice: In order to attract women, you need to make yourself attractive to the kind of women you want to attract, so work on self-improvement in every way. This includes emotional, mental, and physical improvement.

Also, it is not as if these three are completely unrelated. Many people have improved their mental & emotional wellness by working on physical fitness.

 

[Aspychata]

What is great is finding someone with similar interests or being very interested in their special hobbies. It seems like big cities can be difficult to meet people in, smaller towns may be a bit easier.

 

[Misty Avich]

I was always advised to go clubbing if I wanted to make friends. Go clubbing and get hammered, then I'll become fun and interesting.

That's why I say it isn't AS that makes me feel socially isolated, it's my lack of enthusiasm for drinking alcohol.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

We go clubbing and partying frequently have one may two drinks, let wife do chatting then join in.

 

[velociraptor]

I was always advised to go clubbing if I wanted to make friends. Go clubbing and get hammered, then I'll become fun and interesting.

Didn't work out so well for me. I'm not fun and interesting when drunk. I am vicious and degrading. I am the last person people should pour booze into.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Being drunk on a date is not safe at a party or otherwise so I would recommend ignoring that kind of advice.