Regression with age (Does autism get worse?)

[Annanda]

I seem to think things are the way I want them to be. Reality is tough. Getting lost in day dreams is so needed.

I can relate very much to this. Me too I figured it out a short while ago.
This trait is also related to trauma.
I searched my whole life for someone who would give me advice how to behave appropriately. But by showing my weaknesses to persons, who handled them to fool me or to ridicule me or to take advantage for themselves I had often traumatizing experiences. So over lifetime I have more and more difficulties to trust anyone.
That is may be how I regress.

 

[Ginseng]

I have been thinking, or over thinking since the OP. I think that I can be responsible when I have responsibilities such as parenting or supervisory responsibilities. I am focused on my job description. Being a wife changed me, for the better. Sadly my marriages never lasted more than a year. I do not do well single. Becoming a mom changed me for the better also. I had a purpose, a focus. Now that he is grown or when he was younger and would go visit his dad I would tend to fall apart. I think I was lost, no purpose or unsure of what it might me. Working and having a purpose was also good for me to an extent. I over did it for too many years. I pushed myself past what I could do. That is why burnout came which I still have not recovered from. So, perhaps I could live on my own if I had a purpose or if I knew what it was. I need to focus on something positive and meaningful otherwise I am just lost.

 

[Annanda]

So, perhaps I could live on my own if I had a purpose or if I knew what it was. I need to focus on something positive and meaningful otherwise I am just lost.

Hmmmm, I did some very good therapies, where I was encouraged to find out how to make my own life shining, how to spend just a beautiful time with myself or someone other. Most of the time it's myself others start to bother me more and more.
One was trauma-therapy in real life with a real psychological parent, one of the few persons who gave me helpful advice, where I was allowed to monologize every week for exactly fifty minutes and who I was able to trust over time.
And the other was an online-self-love-challenge, created by a german couple-therapist.
Both helped me a lot:
to start to enjoy life, just for the sake of enjoying (and thats my point for you),
to worship myself and the fact, that I made it through half a century in face of all the difficulties
and to do all the good things to myself, that I hoped others would do for me.
Now it starts to dawn on me, that I don't have always to overdo things, to step sometimes back from all my perfectionism (By the way:Art needs to be perfect , so I have the perfect excuse, if I fall back in my familiar behavior).

 

[tducey]

I'm 36 now and am starting to realize I'm getting older. Wouldn't call it regression but I'm not what I once was.

 

[Mattymatt]

I guess I write this wondering if Autism could worsen with age because it seems like I am unable to tolerate what I used to be able to. My old therapist chocked it up to just knowing what I want and being less likely to settle for what I don't want but I disagree.

I notice certain sounds like dog barking and howling grate on nerves now and that did not previously happen. I also notice that I am having more problems adapting to new situations and I used to consider myself extremely adaptable. Could it be that as we age we naturally get more set in our ways and this is not necessarily an "Autism" thing?

Another thing is that I don't seem to be able to learn and retain information like I could 20 years ago. 41 isn't that old by today's standards but I am struggling to grasp some technology concepts that it seems to me that I should be able to get right away.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Regressing or simply becoming more accepting of them, and who you are?

I've done a little of both. Since being different always got me a poor reception socially, I've spent a lot of my life hiding everything that was different. Now that I know the cause behind it, I've opened up a little bit. I'm not hiding my stims as much as I used to, and I've opened up a bit to my friends about various anxieties.

But I've been considering starting a thread to ask the same question as @Pats asked in this one. It seems like I've been having a harder and harder time with change the last few years, especially at work. 20 years ago, I used to dive into every new project without fear. Now, I struggle with the fear of unknown parts of every project and have difficulty letting go of past projects that I'm well-established and comfortable in. It was a large and sudden change in projects last year that led to me having a meltdown, which led to my diagnosis.

I don't know if this is because I have more accumulated knowledge and experience, and therefore more of a comfort zone and more difficulty leaving that comfort zone. Or if it's because my mind is becoming less flexible with age and making it easier for my anxieties to surface.

That is, I don't know if getting older exposes more of my autistic tendencies, or if this is just a normal part of getting older.

 

[Pats]

Seems like things I was able to get myself to do, or at least try to do, is harder to get myself to do again. It's harder to leave the house. It's harder to be around people that I could be around before. Yes, stemming seems more pronounced. Feels like everything about autism is more pronounced than it was 15 years ago or so. I think it may partly be because now I know what it is, but I don't think that's why it's stronger traits. Or maybe less ability to control it?

 

[Judge]

I think it may partly be because now I know what it is, but I don't think that's why it's stronger traits.

No question. Self-awareness allows you to make the choice of whether to mask your traits and behaviors or not. But there's also another element that can compound it all, not related to autism.

That the older you get, the less you care of what others think of you. Which personally, I find to be advantageous. Being concerned about what you really cannot control can be exhausting. Better to leave it in your past than to let it linger in your future.

 

[Nervous Rex]

That the older you get, the less you care of what others think of you. Which personally, I find to be advantageous. Being concerned about what you really cannot control can be exhausting. Better to leave it in your past than to let it linger in your future.

Three wise statements in one paragraph.

 

[Bedlamite]

IMO, for what it is worth, regression is a given with age - physically, mentally, intellectually, psychologically, etc. I'm 65 years of age, forced into early retirement by a cruel NT dominated society and suffered a mild stroke three days after retiring due to the tremendous stress. Reflecting back on my life after reaching my 60's I can definitely find instances where I have regressed in my ability to cope with being autistic. Also, regression can have different interpretations depending on an individual's perspective. Personally, I find it extremely difficult and ever increasingly problematic dealing with main-stream society's idiosyncratic disrespect of one another.

 

[Pats]

No question. Self-awareness allows you to make the choice of whether to mask your traits and behaviors or not. But there's also another element that can compound it all, not related to autism.

That the older you get, the less you care of what others think of you. Which personally, I find to be advantageous. Being concerned about what you really cannot control can be exhausting. Better to leave it in your past than to let it linger in your future.

hang on hang on. self awareness is definitely not it because I noticed these traits getting worse before my diagnosis so the traits were still something I didn't understand and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and why was it getting worse. I noticed the worsening before knowing what it was.
And I do still care what other people think - that's where most my problems lie. If I didn't care what other people thought and just did what I wanted I'd be hiding out in a corner somewhere alone and remain there.

 

[Pats]

I had my yearly physical today and my doctor is an hour away. Anyhow - as I was driving I remembered all these things about regression and wrote it down so I would remember to add it. Part of the reason I went for a diagnosis was because things were getting so much worse and thinking I was normal could not figure out why all this stuff was happening and why it was getting worse.
Once I had the diagnosis and knew WHAT it was I was able to accept it easier and deal with it a little better.

 

[Judge]

And I do still care what other people think - that's where most my problems lie.

I agree. That IS a problem.

Time to start caring what YOU think rather than follow what others think. It isn't a crime, and you aren't getting any younger. Quite to the contrary, resistance isn't futile.

As much as NTs in your orbit may want you to be absorbed into their collective, you and the rest of us on the spectrum know that isn't really possible. Unfortunately they don't.

So use your self-awareness to your advantage. Pick your battles carefully, but also stand your ground when the need arises- even with family. Hell...especially with family. Make solitude an occasional choice, without fear or a perceived need to hide.

 

[Mary Lyn]

I find, at the age of 68, that my body and soul are being renewed.

My body because I am eating a whole food plant based diet for 9 months now, which has reversed certain problems, like diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep problems, and my weight is slowly going down - 28 lbs gone up till now. I am looking much better and younger and can do more now.

Cognitively better and increasing all of the time. I am also using sage tea for this.

Emotionally I am doing narcissistic abuse recovery programs and am seeing huge shifts there, from a lifetime of dealing with narcissistic abuse from mother, ex and daughter. I have been having a lot of counselling as well as joining a Celebration recovery group.

So no I do not agree that decline is inevitable. I am thinking of going on a counselling training course from September next year and expect to get at least 10 years of practise in afterwards.

 

[Highway Cowboy]

I seem to be finding life in general more irritating, difficult to cope with and I get annoyed at things I didn't used to.

Without wishing to sound too aloof, I just find humans unbearable and more and more irritating every day. I can't stand having to deal with or worse still, speak to people. I find them physically and emotionally draining. I find people to be ignorant, stupid and very irritating. Like I say I don't wish to sound arrogant, I'm nothing special, I'm just a Trucker, but people are just one example.

I'm just struggling with everyday life, things that once might have only been a slight issue are fast becoming much bigger issues that I'm finding more difficult to overcome. I'm not what you'd regard as particularly "old",. I'm the tender age of 47 now. I'm finding almost everything annoys and irritates me, I will go out of my way in order to avoid having to talk to people.

Does anybody else find themselves in such a mindset?

 

[Nauti]

Yes, I've become weary of talking to most people, although, I think my comorbidity of complex ptsd plays a part in this social aversion, and I have a lot of children, so I need to prioritize having social energy for them. I am 46. I have a partner (also Aspie) and between him, my councellors and group peers (in group therapy for the CPTSD) and my kid's, I just don't have anyenergy left over for others.
I am good(ish) with task oriented being social, but due to major health crisis, I am currently.unemployed, but I've never much enjoyed being social for the sake of being social. The uncertainty of it, is kind of, excruciating. Now, though, I avoid it like the plague, I haven't the drive to try to fit in or mask like I used to.

 

[Frostee]

No. Our symptoms become more apparent as the gap between us and our peers widens.

 

[Vince]

I'm up there too, at 55.
I hadn't thought about regression until I saw this post, so I'm sitting back and reflecting as we speak to see where I think my head is at.
So far I realize a couple different things.

First, I am certain that I am less social at this point than what little bit I used to try to do years ago. But to me this feels more like acceptance as I just don't feel like faking it anymore and I'm happier not trying to interact with people much. When I was younger I kept trying anyway even though I was absolutely no good at it. This caused some measure of distress, embarrassment and regret. Since I don't care anymore, I get to save myself the negative feelings and instead spend my time on the activities I'm good at, which feels much more rewarding. I could be making a huge mistake and painting myself into a corner, but thus far I feel like it's a combination of "I don't think so" and "I don't care anyway". With my family history & genes, at my age I fortunately only have to make it another 20 years (if I'm lucky) and I won't have to worry anymore either way, so there's that.

Second, I'm old enough that my body is on the downhill direction now, and since I know this and can't do much about it, I figure I am better off accepting it, which is much better than feeling dread and anxiety about it. My vision is cloudy and out of focus compared to before (there are procedures I can get to improve on this, but it's not bad enough to need that yet). My metabolism is slow so it's more difficult to stay in shape physically, so I do what I can and accept what I can't. My memory is much worse than it used to be (names, words, etc.) but I continue to get better at understanding complex ideas and mechanisms, so I pull the "senior" card when I forget words & names and declare the improvement of understanding "wisdom". There are a few things about getting old that are good, so I try to embrace those facets. I enjoy the very few long-time friendships I still have which have nuance that's impossible when you're young, and also appreciate how adept I've become at dealing with "life stuff" which was so difficult when I was young.

Anyway, long story longer, you might look at the things that are alarming you from a different angle before assuming that the Asperger's is regressing. Life has a way of churning your foundation loose under foot. The stress of change can certainly push you past some trigger points. I would think that it's much more likely that an aging brain is much more likely to be the source of memory struggles than regression of autism. That's just a guess, but autism is a structural brain thing, a disorder, not a disease. You have the brain you have and it's not like there's an autistic part that's invading your "regular" part. Return of symptoms you had when younger and didn't experience for a long span of time may be defined as autistic, but are probably triggered by changes in your life. Try addressing the situation, or at least your reaction to it.
The first two that come to mind for me are:
1) figure out what may be causing stress and either eliminate that cause or work out ways to calm your reaction to it, or both. This is doable.
2) To address your memory issue, consider about taking up an activity or hobby you enjoy which stimulates your brain in general and challenges your mind. Dive in and geek out on it, including reading. This will improve your memory and your brain's general agility and health. This will take some time to start showing, which is why it's better to start something you enjoy rather than drilling puzzles or flash cards or the like. Something you enjoy can be an effortless permanent new brain exercise rather than a drudgery you won't keep up with anyway. Eventually, you'll just notice that you haven't been forgetting things as much as you were before.

 

[anacrusis]

I think it does exist - there is a lot of talk about people "recovering" from autism when actually what they've learnt to do is mask it. They can behave in a neurotypical way so that it's not so obvious, but it costs energy and effort. As we get older everything else - moving around, dealing with day-to-day living, coping with crises - also costs us more energy and effort, and there's less fuel left to do the masking: something has to give, and maybe it's no surprise that the autism seems to resurface. Truth is, it never went away.

 

[AwkwardSilence]

I realized once again today that I've become MORE Aspergian over time. The example: driving home with my wife. Years ago I used to reach over and hold her hand. Now I really don't want to do that kind of thing, though I can force myself. But the direction I'm going is more closed off to intimacy.

I wonder if the Asp fate is not to get better or worse overall, but to change with some things getting more or less pronounced over the long term. I thought I'd be more mellow at my current age, but I'm losing ground in some ways.