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regrets

A few years back before covid. I was on a hill walk with two fellow service user friends from the Aspergers charity drop in centre. We didn't plan our journey back home after the hills very well. It got dark and we were on a road. Although walking towards a village or town with bus routes. A car driver pulled up and said by the time we got to a bus stop it would be too late and offered to give us a ride to the town or village, I declined although my two friends tried to persuade me. I jogged to the village or town and got there in time for the bus that my friends were on, but my two friends said they were worried and thought about calling the police, so looking back I would have got in the car as not to upset my two friends.
 
A few years ago in the Aspergers charity drop in I'm registered with. I regret not going to the cinema with another service user when one of the staff invited me to. I regret not doing a charity run with the charity.
 
Not all those instances are regrets some were not my fault. As I was in a bad mood around people when I got to the aspie drop in centre due to some people trying to he rude to me when I was minding my own business doing nothing wrong on the way to the drop in centre.
 
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I actually regret never dropping out of high school. It’s not like my life would have been any worse if I did. I would have escaped from the severe bullying and perhaps had gotten help for my severe depression and responses to certain things because of trauma much sooner. I would have dropped out as soon I had turned 18 because then no one could legally force me to go to school. The only reason I never skipped school was because I had nowhere else to go during the day or anywhere to hide. Plus my stepsister probably would have ratted me out during my senior year. I also regret not going through with the time I started to pack while I was in high school and I wanted to leave home to escape my stepmom and stepsister and also get as far away from the school as I could.
 
Aspergers_Aspie said:
Do you have any regrets?
For me I wish I had been nicer to my parents when they were alive, nicer to people generally and tried not to be rude on occasions.
When my Dad was alive. He was nearly 66 and was a bit unsteady on his feet. He lived alone. My Dad had asked me if I could be his carer. My Mum had died a few years before so I
couldn't ask her and I asked my
Aunt. She said I couldn't be. I just took her word for it, maybe as I have aspergers. Looking back I wish I had tried to find out from maybe my GP, the Council or Citizen's Advice Bureau. My Dad had a stroke and
died in hospital,
I can't change the past but I think about situations and how I could have behaved differently. And I try to be nicer generally to people and not rude.‎
Also there was a trainee social worker who I a few years back, when I was staying in a homeless hostel. We used to get on really well and share a laugh! Maybe due to my aspergers that I didn't know I had back then
and she didn't know, I reacted in a way about something that I regret, I was younger and didn't know how to deal with being upset, got very annoyed and left the hostel without maybe seeing if we could have
became friends or possibly boyfriend girlfriend in the future. There was another woman at the charity drop-in I attend for aspergers (I only got diagnosed for aspergers when I was 29). at times I was frustrated and
think I could've handled things better looking back, and even when I wasn't frustrated I think I could have chatted with her more, I think possibly we could have ended up being boy and girlfriend or just
friends.
I'm happy for couples but seeing them on tv makes me sad about my regrets.
At least the woman from the autism charity knows I have aspergers, the
woman from the hostel didn't know this, I think if we didn't become boyfriend girlfriend we could have been really good friends.‎
I of course hope those two women will be really happy.
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I don't think anyone thinks I was upset at the trainee social worker, but just in case, I would like to clarify I was never upset with her!
 
I also regret when I was about 10, I was at a Cèilidh. I had never seen this person, but we had a connection, so much so we continued our friendship through written letters.
My mother, I don't know why insisted on reading the person's letters. I didn't like this. And without maturity, I called off our friendship.
 
The person at the drop-in I attend who sat at the seat next to me to have a meal one day, helped me a lot with my candy crush, who done a jigsaw puzzle with me and who asked me if I would like to go to the cinema with her and someone else, did not know, how the pressure of those who are rude can get to me, on my way into the drop-in from home, when I arrived at the drop in, my normal self would be happy and carefree but instead I got annoyed easily due to people being rude. If we ended up in a relationship or not, if people hadn't been rude I would have been my true self. Of course whatever she does in her life, I hope she's always extremely happy!
 
I was dating someone about four/five years ago. I saw her home but I didn't show her my home, I was delaying showing her as my flat wasn't tidy and I needed to do a lot of cleaning. Not because I purposely neglected cleaning and tidying but because I can get overwhelmed by it especially as it's a really small flat. If I go a little bit without keeping on top of it, it can gradually build and build. Ideally I would have shown her my home, I would have really liked to have. And I feel bad for her not seeing it, including how her friends would ask her and her family and she had to keep answering that I haven't showed her. Looking back I think I probably should have shown her inside my home and explained. (I did think eventually it would have became clean and tidy enough)
 
I regret not taking a phone call. 22 years ago. My brother who was the closest person to me had been living in a different town for almost 2 years and one day I came home late at night and my mom tells me he called about 1 hour earlier sayong he needed to talk to me. It was 1130 pm , so I told my mom I would give him a call early in the morning. Well, he killed him self. It was (stilli is) really hard for me. I kept blaming my self. I kept thinking that since I knew him so well I clould have probably picked something out and tried to talk him out of it....still hurts immensily . I dove into depression for 2 long years....
 
Aspergers_Aspie said:
I was dating someone about four/five years ago. I saw her home but I didn't show her my home, I was delaying showing her as my flat wasn't tidy and I needed to do a lot of cleaning. Not because I purposely neglected cleaning and tidying but because I can get overwhelmed by it especially as it's a really small flat. If I go a little bit without keeping on top of it, it can gradually build and build. Ideally I would have shown her my home, I would have really liked to have. And I feel bad for her not seeing it, including how her friends would ask her and her family and she had to keep answering that I haven't showed her. Looking back I think I probably should have shown her inside my home and explained. (I did think eventually it would have became clean and tidy enough)
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I was asked if I have a table and chairs or a sofa. I don't even have those things, the flat is really small, but I am not complaining, there are people on the streets I'm just being factual
 
When I had the rooming house, I had no furniture, no table to eat lunch at keep the main floor for us the landlords. You make due with what you have. Weird dating was bringing my tenant from up stairs down stairs to my living quarters. Funny before we got married she helped me buy a coffee table still owe her money for it. Bunch of guys do not think of furniture. just hang with the tenants upstairs in their sunroom living room.
 
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That's the curse of us. We usually do have regrets. Black and white thinking, causes us to dump friends, leave spouses, quit jobs, stop talking to our parents, leave this forum, leave the country.
 
I don't regret anything. I think i made the decisions necessary for me to protect myself. I could have been a lot more traumatized.
 
I regret not being nicer to my parents. While growing up, I took things for granted. Looking back, they were also there for me, friendly to me, helped me.
 
I regret not spending more time with my grandfather when he was alive. He always asked me to join him on bike rides and being in my early teens I never felt like it and always refused. He passed away the day before my 15th or 16th birthday, I can't remember. But I'm sure he understands, teens will be teens.

I also regret refusing to speak during therapy when I was just diagnosed at the age of around 17, I had a lot of mental health problems I was not admitting to and I was never able to deal with the fact I got diagnosed with PDD-NOS. I would shut out any conversation with my family as well. So it's been lonely dealing with my diagnosis.
 
Aspergers_Aspie said:
I regret a lot! not trying harder not to be in a bad mood if someone being rude put me in a bad mood on my way to the autism charity drop ins I attended. I think a woman may have liked me, I have a crush on her, her personality and looks, she let me play games on her phone, she helped me with candy crush on the pc I was using, she eat a meal next to me, we done a jigsaw puzzle together.
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One day she tried a drink I had from a coffee shop, she doesn't usually like that coffee chain but because she wanted to try my drink made me think she liked me, other instances too I thought maybe she liked me.
 
The decision to buy this property, I bought it to hang myself in, back in 2000, but as you can see, I am still here.
I did not get a survey, and the old owner made massive structural alterations that were missed.
I never got a survey as the flat is much newer than the first structurally sound elderly house I bought.
I was naive back then, I planned to get that surveyed, but my mother advised not to.
It sounds like I am blaming her as I don't know how to put it.
I never had any idea that she wanted me to have structural problems in this old house, and debts.
I did not realise she was abusive, as mad as that sounds.
Advising me not to get a survey on an old, possibly dangerous house is evil.
I love the area this flat is in, woodland right outside my window.
The flat is a decent size, right near the town centre, so well handy.
I absolutely adore everything about the flat, except for what the old owner did, as I cannot see a solution for it, I asked so many organisations for help, and got fed-up of hearing "Sorry there is nothing we can do" or "No easy quick solution".
Even a surveyor told me that they could not come and inspect as it could lead to a court-case.
It's heartbreaking, I fear things failing.
The worrying thing, is that my error and the old owners jackass alterations could negatively impact my neighbours flats, so there could be a Salem witch hunt for my blood.
Sorry to sound dramatic, the problem could not only affect me, but residents, and the people I leave it to, a growing massive liability of humongous size.
The worry has caused me to make bad choices as in 3 drug habits, which I am beating, massive weigh loss to dangerously low levels, I put most of the weight back on, but I think a recent depressive episode has taken a few pound off as my denim skirt is loose again.
My CPN had said my weight got to dangerously low levels.
Weight falls off me when depressed.
Other women of my post menopausal age probably envy me, with weight loss, but they are not in my shoes.
Sorry for the ramble, it's consumed my life.
I fear the alterations have caused irreparable damage to the building and have visions of the whole block being demolished and me making headline news.
I sound a nut case, I am under the care of MH services.
They can help me mentally but not practically.
Spiritual bypassing has got me through the last 18 months, plus a "relationship" with a sexy man, who messed with my head, he was a distraction though.
I just hope I can somehow sort it, and become a stronger, more patient, wiser and more resilient person who can gain skills from the whole experience, rather than it eating me up, and eventually killing me.
I know I was only supposed to post regrets.
My other regrets are the fact that it did not cross my mind as a kid to report my sociopathic parents abuse to teachers who would have understood me, instead of seeing me as a problem pupil.
 
I met a service user at the 2022 Christmas party run by the autism charity I attend. I didn't really chat to her when I was introduced to her. But nine days ago I had been and things were going well. But then I started to regret some things and ideally would have been different on occasions I was with her. I hope I haven't upset her.
 
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