Rejection...again

[Rodafina]

Are we doing anything wrong, or they just not understand us?

If relationships were governed by something rational and more by logic, I feel some might have better luck.

Remember, “they” are not a monolith. Every woman will be different. Perhaps you are looking for a woman who has a more rational and logical approach to relationships. We do exist. Make sure you are remembering the uniqueness of every man and woman. The chemistry occurs when your approach to relationships is the same as the other person, not an entire gender.

 

[BewilderedPerson]

Remember, “they” are not a monolith. Every woman will be different. Perhaps you are looking for a woman who has a more rational and logical approach to relationships. We do exist. Make sure you are remembering the uniqueness of every man and woman. The chemistry occurs when your approach to relationships is the same as the other person, not an entire gender.

I know every woman is different, though it’s easy to fall into such a trap.

If every woman is different, that can be a good thing and not so good thing. On the plus side, not every woman might be repelled by my quirkiness and uniqueness, and I speak from experience when I say if I’ve told two women the same thing, one received my statement better than the other did.

The worrisome thing is, if all are different, it could be hard to tailor myself to them or say or do something to their liking.

 

[Rodafina]

The worrisome thing is, if all our different, it could be hard to tailor myself to them or say or do something to their liking.

It’s not really an “if.” Every woman will be different.

I don’t think tailoring yourself to each and every woman you meet is the best strategy. Being yourself in a relationship is the most important thing and this is what can lead to longevity.

I would say focus on being yourself, meeting many different types of women, if possible, and just seeing where things click. People here generally give great advice and you are still relatively new, so hopefully you can pick up lots of useful information from people here to help you.

 

[BewilderedPerson]

It’s not really an “if.” Every woman will be different.

I don’t think tailoring yourself to each and every woman you meet is the best strategy. Being yourself in a relationship is the most important thing and this is what can lead to longevity.

I would say focus on being yourself, meeting many different types of women, if possible, and just seeing where things click. People here generally give great advice and you are still relatively new, so hopefully you can pick up lots of useful information from people here to help you.

I do pride myself on being myself. I don’t like to pretend to be something that I’m not, and I wish to stay true to myself and who I am. The problem is, this has seldom yielded desirable results.

I can’t fake who I am. I don’t need to spill my guts out and be over the top. I can be friendly, but not terribly extroverted or loud and boisterous. I can, however, be snarky/sarcastic/witty and make people laugh.

 

[Crusnik]

@RemyZee
That scenario is all too familiar and i don't have to say how much it sucks. People are generally right when they say that you shouldn't take it personally but that level of constant rejection erodes your self-esteem and general psychological well-being.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

There may be one element of the equation that you don't see or consider. That the women you are connecting with may simply not have the ability to say "no" in real time. So they do so after the fact.

It sucks, but my point is that such a social dynamic is about them far more than it is about you.

Hang in there, at some point you may find someone with a backbone who responds to you honestly, and in real time. Who is willing to spend time with you based on whatever agreement you make to meet with each other.

I agree. Being ghosted is worse tha an outright NO. But on the positive side, I'd never want to spend time with somebody so inconsiderate.

 

[RemyZee]

Nice support. However, we cannot assume the op is a guy. Women can reject females too.

Female here!

 

[RemyZee]

Thanks!