You're bringing up some intriguing topics. I think whenever I've been in an interpersonal situation where I missed something big I repeat it and analyze it in my mind in order to understand what I missed and why. My TOM is more declarative than implicit. Because it's a learned skill I believe I have gotten better at it over time. i.e. (two often shared aspie deficits that I've read about) I used to find it very hard to tell the difference between when a girl was flirting with me or just talking to me. Also I would say things when I meant no offense but upon reflection I could tell were really really offensive. I still do these things but I think I have learned a lot based on past experience and can apply that knowledge. I never really thought that NT "normal" TOM was a reflexive, but that makes perfect sense. I don't know how verifiable the study was but I read somewhere that aspie mirror neurons don't operate in the same way as a NT. Normally, if a NT saw an emotion or situation someone was having their mirror neurons activate and they will 'feel' that same perceived emotion(s). Aspie mirror neurons activate at a much lower level. That seems like something that could impair TOM.
I like hearing this Richard Feynman talk about physics. He did about an hour interview that survived and is on youtube if you haven't seen it.