Response I received on another site

[GadAbout]

I posted on another site about my being on the spectrum and a response I received says that "Everyone is a little autistic." Thoughts?

I avoid this kind of response by not telling anybody I'm autistic - although I am medically diagnosed. It's nobody's business, and risks a lot of misunderstanding.

 

[Rasputin]

I posted on another site about my being on the spectrum and a response I received says that "Everyone is a little autistic." Thoughts?

I’ve tried several different sites as well, and have left them all. The owners of one site were taking advantage of and were manipulating members. Several other sites were toxic, with some members attacking other members. Clearly who ever posted the comment you saw did not know what they were talking about.

 

[Aspychata]

It trivilalizes the effect of autism we have, and marginalized it. And even generalized it. It's wrong on so many levels.

 

[Nairobi]

We tend to give things said by others too much importance i think sometimes. Like if they really think and meant that stuff when in reality they were only 'chit chatting' and trying to be social with us.

Something else I wish I could remember, but I keep forgetting.

 

[Martha Ferris]

I went to the post and read it in its entirety. I concluded that this person may well be on the spectrum but is not aware of it. His post is much like the ones here as are his experiences. I hope that by my bringing it up on the site he will explore the subject further and gain infromation and clarity.

 

[Crossbreed]

"Everyone is a little autistic." Thoughts?

Others might do some of the things we do, but NTs are above a certain threshold in social instinct (and Theory of Mind, etc.).

 

[Streetwise]

Do you think this is what they meant when they made that comment? And do you have any thoughts about why so many of us appraised it the way we did here? (i.e. they are being dismissive, they are ignorant, etc.) Are we being reflexive, are we basing it on past negative experiences? I'm just now coming to realize how little I understand of people's motives - and I keep forgetting to remember that. Because it feels safer and more natural to go with my built up reflexes or built up "wisdom", which I'm not so sure is wisdom anymore, but maybe outdated or inappropriate defenses for protective purposes of navigating a weird planet I don't understand.

Autism is a distinctive development in the brain, you can't be a little bit autistic

 

[Tom]

Do you think this is what they meant when they made that comment? And do you have any thoughts about why so many of us appraised it the way we did here? (i.e. they are being dismissive, they are ignorant, etc.) Are we being reflexive, are we basing it on past negative experiences? I'm just now coming to realize how little I understand of people's motives - and I keep forgetting to remember that. Because it feels safer and more natural to go with my built up reflexes or built up "wisdom", which I'm not so sure is wisdom anymore, but maybe outdated or inappropriate defenses for protective purposes of navigating a weird planet I don't understand.

Still thinking on that one.

 

[Nairobi]

Still thinking on that one.

Ok. I’ll be curious if you reply, but of course don’t feel you must. I think it might be a better question for myself!

 

[DogzSpirit]

Similarities are not differences. Difference being do you fit in without much effort, or do the other fish in the tank somehow chase or reject you, due to such. wiring?

Yes, anyone. can have some of these similarities... I have a husband who has such focused interests he barely hears anyone speaking to him when he is hyper focused on sports or chess. Difference is he blends rather well in any environment without any work or effort. Never had to learn it. Nor did others that have such quirks... just fit in as easy as snapping their fingers.

Others like me, have to work on it. Boy is it work. Sometimes it is just easier to find out who doesn't take to ya, and let them be!

 

[Nairobi]

Similarities are not differences. Difference being do you fit in without much effort, or do the other fish in the tank somehow chase or reject you, due to such. wiring?

Yes, anyone. can have some of these similarities... I have a husband who has such focused interests he barely hears anyone speaking to him when he is hyper focused on sports or chess. Difference is he blends rather well in any environment without any work or effort. Never had to learn it. Nor did others that have such quirks... just fit in as easy as snapping their fingers.

Others like me, have to work on it. Boy is it work. Sometimes it is just easier to find out who doesn't take to ya, and let them be!

I am not even a fish - I am a scuba diver among fish, hindered by gear, limited oxygen supply and energy to stay down there among the fish before I have to leave and come back up for air - and all the fish think I’m a very strange or defective fish. And sometimes a bit rude.

 

[DogzSpirit]

I am not even a fish - I am a scuba diver among fish, hindered by gear, limited oxygen supply and energy to stay down there among the fish before I have to leave and come back up for air - and all the fish think I’m a very strange or defective fish. And sometimes a bit rude.

Yes, rude or downright predatory when I was younger. Odd how so many whom do not give others space to be whom they are, consider us to be rude or out of place in our mannerisms. It truly is all about perspective. However, I have never gone out of my way to reject another due to their unique differences, and furthermore I would guess that most on this forum are not rude in that way.

It's one thing to appear rude. It's another to actually have that intent.

 

[Crossbreed]

It's one thing to appear rude. It's another to actually have that intent.

We operate under a conflicting paradigm, particularly in our "black & white" way of thinking.

 

[musicalman]

Ehh, I don't know what to think of this honestly. A wall of text incoming with my own personal opinions, so read at your own risk.

I've considered that I'm autistic, but I really don't know. But one thing which I definitely have is blindness. I was born with very limited vision and lost it by the time I was a few months old. I'll be coming back to that later.

Anyway, I identify with many of the traits which I think are used to diagnose autism. I'm not dysfunctional by any means, but I do need dozens of little accommodations.

For instance I have huge obsessions which I never get tired of and dedicate large chunks of my day to them. When an emotional episode hits, I need at least a day of solitude, if not 2 or 3. It's almost like a silent meltdown where everything I feel I can take for granted makes no sense. When I'm at a loud event I deliberately avoid socializing with people and even then I get overloaded and I have to retreat as soon as possible. When I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I have to very consciously use a script, one which I've either prepared for myself ahead of time, or which someone else has helped me with.

I could go on a bit more, but I won't. I'm by no means saying I would qualify for a diagnosis. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't. But I've questioned all of these things about myself as I grew up, and about 8 years ago I went on this fool's quest of sorts for answers, and was universally dismissed. Yet to this day, I still feel like something is off, like I have to try harder to mentally/emotionally get by. I'm always a little stressed/on edge concerning the stuff I outlined above.

With that said, I'm not qualified to give an insightful opinion on the "Everyone's a little autistic" statement. My personal belief right now is that no real harm was intended, though I am by no means wishing to invalidate the opposing opinions here. I would, however, like to explain my position using my blindness.

People ask me seemingly stupid questions all the time about my blindness. They tell me I must understand what black is like, because I see black all the time. They ask me if I listen to (not watch/see) TV shows. They close their eyes and tell me now they understand what blindness is like, among other things.

But what I truly can't stand are the sighted and blind people alike who turn blindness into a series of trageties and success stories. It's rarely presented in a humble and simple "Hi, I'm blind so xyz." Instead, it always has to grab and keep attention focused on the alienating blindness. It replaces what may have started off as quiet curiosity or sympathy with senses of novelty or injustice.

At the end of the day, most blind people want to be treated like everyone else. That doesn't mean ignore the blindness. It just means don't approach blind people as though they're foreign exchange students or extraterrestrial beings who aren't used to your world/culture. Some blind people are quick to fault sighted people, but I don't so much; many don't know a blind person well enough to get the down-to-earth, so-called real life perspective. And others are just so impressionable/emotional that they can't stop themselves from trying to sympathize or relate in ways which may be cringey. And like I say, some blind people contribute to this too, either for publicity, or because they believe it's the only way to be heard, or because they were raised with this attitude that you must speak to all sighted people as though they are an eager class of Elementary school students who need to be educated.

Of course there are also different degrees of blindness (total, colorblind, facialblind, visuallly impaired etc.) To me, visually impaired is almost like saying "a little blind," though in practice it's more complicated.

From the responses on this thread, it is clear to me that many of you consider autism to not work that way at all. You can't say someone is a little autistic, and this peaks my curiosity; why is "a little autistic" so insensitive/ignorant?

I'm not sure if I am borderline autistic, but let's suppose for argument's sake that i am. I struggle, but I can manage my currently low-key lifestyle without much emotional/mental assistance. I would've said no assistance, but I do occasionally call on friends to help when things inexplicably get messy. When my lifestyle gets more or less permanently busy, I honestly don't know if I could cope. I really hope I can, but it's up in the air. It will be a telling time for sure and may depend on a lot of things.

The impression I'm getting here is that my struggles are or will become significant, in which case I'd have autism, or are rarely if ever significant enough, in which case I don't have it. Am I understanding correctly or am I oversimplifying it?

In any case, I feel like a spectrum has merit. It certainly works for visual impairment; the same eye charts are used to my knowledge, at least initially, whether you have 20/20 vision or can barely read a letter of large print. Is that because visual impairment can actually be measured objectively and autism can't?

I'm not trying to invalidate anyone here or put words in people's mouths, I'm just trying to understand. I won't comment further; I'm not super knowledgeable on autism anyway. I'm just musing I guess.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Ehh, I don't know what to think of this honestly. A wall of text incoming with my own personal opinions, so read at your own risk.

I've considered that I'm autistic, but I really don't know. But one thing which I definitely have is blindness. I was born with very limited vision and lost it by the time I was a few months old. I'll be coming back to that later.

Anyway, I identify with many of the traits which I think are used to diagnose autism. I'm not dysfunctional by any means, but I do need dozens of little accommodations.

For instance I have huge obsessions which I never get tired of and dedicate large chunks of my day to them. When an emotional episode hits, I need at least a day of solitude, if not 2 or 3. It's almost like a silent meltdown where everything I feel I can take for granted makes no sense. When I'm at a loud event I deliberately avoid socializing with people and even then I get overloaded and I have to retreat as soon as possible. When I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I have to very consciously use a script, one which I've either prepared for myself ahead of time, or which someone else has helped me with.

I could go on a bit more, but I won't. I'm by no means saying I would qualify for a diagnosis. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't. But I've questioned all of these things about myself as I grew up, and about 8 years ago I went on this fool's quest of sorts for answers, and was universally dismissed. Yet to this day, I still feel like something is off, like I have to try harder to mentally/emotionally get by. I'm always a little stressed/on edge concerning the stuff I outlined above.

With that said, I'm not qualified to give an insightful opinion on the "Everyone's a little autistic" statement. My personal belief right now is that no real harm was intended, though I am by no means wishing to invalidate the opposing opinions here. I would, however, like to explain my position using my blindness.

People ask me seemingly stupid questions all the time about my blindness. They tell me I must understand what black is like, because I see black all the time. They ask me if I listen to (not watch/see) TV shows. They close their eyes and tell me now they understand what blindness is like, among other things.

But what I truly can't stand are the sighted and blind people alike who turn blindness into a series of trageties and success stories. It's rarely presented in a humble and simple "Hi, I'm blind so xyz." Instead, it always has to grab and keep attention focused on the alienating blindness. It replaces what may have started off as quiet curiosity or sympathy with senses of novelty or injustice.

At the end of the day, most blind people want to be treated like everyone else. That doesn't mean ignore the blindness. It just means don't approach blind people as though they're foreign exchange students or extraterrestrial beings who aren't used to your world/culture. Some blind people are quick to fault sighted people, but I don't so much; many don't know a blind person well enough to get the down-to-earth, so-called real life perspective. And others are just so impressionable/emotional that they can't stop themselves from trying to sympathize or relate in ways which may be cringey. And like I say, some blind people contribute to this too, either for publicity, or because they believe it's the only way to be heard, or because they were raised with this attitude that you must speak to all sighted people as though they are an eager class of Elementary school students who need to be educated.

Of course there are also different degrees of blindness (total, colorblind, facialblind, visuallly impaired etc.) To me, visually impaired is almost like saying "a little blind," though in practice it's more complicated.

From the responses on this thread, it is clear to me that many of you consider autism to not work that way at all. You can't say someone is a little autistic, and this peaks my curiosity; why is "a little autistic" so insensitive/ignorant?

I'm not sure if I am borderline autistic, but let's suppose for argument's sake that i am. I struggle, but I can manage my currently low-key lifestyle without much emotional/mental assistance. I would've said no assistance, but I do occasionally call on friends to help when things inexplicably get messy. When my lifestyle gets more or less permanently busy, I honestly don't know if I could cope. I really hope I can, but it's up in the air. It will be a telling time for sure and may depend on a lot of things.

The impression I'm getting here is that my struggles are or will become significant, in which case I'd have autism, or are rarely if ever significant enough, in which case I don't have it. Am I understanding correctly or am I oversimplifying it?

In any case, I feel like a spectrum has merit. It certainly works for visual impairment; the same eye charts are used to my knowledge, at least initially, whether you have 20/20 vision or can barely read a letter of large print. Is that because visual impairment can actually be measured objectively and autism can't?

I'm not trying to invalidate anyone here or put words in people's mouths, I'm just trying to understand. I won't comment further; I'm not super knowledgeable on autism anyway. I'm just musing I guess.

You are maybe over simplifying. I think. I'm not too sure. I'm self diagnosed based on online surveys and poor coping skills, and autistic traits. I dont know if I would be diagnosed with HFA or asperger's but I strongly believe so. Both those terms are now archaic, HFA and aspergers. Now the spectrum is used, so for me since I am the way I am, if I was diagnosed it would be ASD 1. With severity of impairment having a higher number.

I have known a few blind people but not many. There is a couple who both are blind that went to compass house for lunch, before the pandemic.

I knew a blind guitarist as a boy she was quite talented, she played it across her lap, I think because of her size, she was maybe 8 when I was 17, she played at church sometimes.

I thought if I was blind I would put mount a bell up in a corner by the door to find the right direction, I think it must be common to get confused about direction one is facing. I have a great sense of direction if I get turned around it's uncomfortable to me.

Alot of what you are reading is likely due to some people being bullied for most of their lives, by nearly everyone.

I'm not sure if ASD is degenerative in and of itself, but I dont believe it is. Other conditions are. There seems to be some overlap or co morbidity with ASD and other things

 

[Suzette]

The impression I'm getting here is that my struggles are or will become significant, in which case I'd have autism, or are rarely if ever significant enough, in which case I don't have it. Am I understanding correctly or am I oversimplifying it?

As Skittlebuscuit says, ASD isn't degenerative. But for the rest, you are over simplifying.
Many people are not diagnosed with ASD until late in life and have learned coping strategies so that their individual traits are not very disruptive most of the time. Yet, they are still on the spectrum.

 

[ucrenegade]

If people want to blanket or be dismissive with something they obviously no nothing about why listen or even continue to engage. I would simply say bless your heart you have that view and move on.

 

[Magna]

As Skittlebuscuit says, ASD isn't degenerative. But for the rest, you are over simplifying.
Many people are not diagnosed with ASD until late in life and have learned coping strategies so that their individual traits are not very disruptive most of the time. Yet, they are still on the spectrum.

ASD isn't degenerative in a physical sense like many diseases are which deteriorate the body. However even though autistic people often develop coping skills to get through life (masking, etc) a lot of us older autistic people can testify based on our own personal experience that ASD can be degenerative on a mental and emotional level. Over time, it gets more difficult for a lot of us to function in the workplace, etc. "Autistic Burnout". The amount of mental energy it takes to function in an NT dominant world seems to be unsustainable over time for a lot of autistic people.

 

[Suzette]

ASD isn't degenerative in a physical sense like many diseases are which deteriorate the body. However even though autistic people often develop coping skills to get through life (masking, etc) a lot of us older autistic people can testify based on our own personal experience that ASD can be degenerative on a mental and emotional level. Over time, it gets more difficult for a lot of us to function in the workplace, etc. "Autistic Burnout". The amount of mental energy it takes to function in an NT seems to be unsustainable over time for a lot of autistic people.

Good to know. I am retired and live a very simple, quiet life. But I was eager to retire at 49 and I did! I didn't suspect I may be aspie then.

 

[Magna]

Good to know. I am retired and live a very simple, quiet life. But I was eager to retire at 49 and I did! I didn't suspect I may be aspie then.

Congratulations on your early retirement, Suzette! I'm only a few years older now than you were when you retired and I'm still working. I'm one of the ones where it's getting harder, not easier; an increasing struggle for me.