Saw someone getting bullied on their first day at work in a cafe

[thejuice]

Today I saw someone getting bullied on their first day at work in a cafe. Was quite interesting to see it from the outside, its obvious when youre a spectator, but i could see the confusion on her face. She was a people pleaser, and the others were passive aggressive. Being friendly one minute cold the next, witholding information, trying to undermine her confidence, trying to make her nervous. Reminded me of my time working in hopitality. A lot of bullying and cliques.

 

[Judge]

A lot of people employed in very different occupations don't always realize how difficult it can be to balance work objectives while remaining cordial with customers. Worse perhaps if you are autistic and have inherent issues with such social dynamics at the outset.

Worse still if and when it's your first day on the job. It's a lot to "juggle".

 

[thejuice]

I dont understand the mentality, especially as an independent business. She was young, trying hard and these older people were just trying to sabotage her.

 

[Judge]

I dont understand the mentality. She was young, trying hard and these older people were just trying to sabotage her.

Hard to say. Sometimes I chalk such things up to a sense of class warfare. Other times I just think how tragic it can be that some bullies are incapable of growing out of themselves.

 

[Outdated]

Today I saw someone getting bullied on their first day at work in a cafe.

I can't help myself in those situations, I would have been quite vocal and very loud. I'm not always so good at sticking up for myself but when I see it happening to others I'm not able to sit back.

I dont understand the mentality....

If the other staff was an old bessam it could be as basic as she's jealous of a young pretty girl and feels her social position is threatened. It all relates back to that pecking order.

(a bessam is an old chook that can no longer lay eggs)

 

[Mono]

I can't help myself in those situations, I would have been quite vocal and very loud. I'm not always so good at sticking up for myself but when I see it happening to others I'm not able to sit back.

Same here, I would have joined you.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I lived on a farm when teenager, 6 of us, four older boys none of us wanted to take over farm, So parents sold farm while we were in college, university, they bought hard ware store. Then in my last year of college they suddenly sold store. Then over this Christmas I asked my youngest brother what happened. My dad, had come to the conclusion "The customer is always right was not for him". Prior To selling it he had added an extension to the store, which is what he really liked doing. always building some thing. Bought another farm. Fixed up house, no animals just rented land.

 

[Outdated]

Same here, I would have joined you.

One day I was sitting in the social security office waiting for an appointment and the woman behind the counter started yelling and screaming abuse at the aboriginal client in front of her. To mention any of the terms she used in here would get my post deleted, but it's some of the worst abuse I ever heard in my life, as well as she was threatening to cut his payments off.

I vaulted out of my chair and an old lady (also aboriginal) grabbed my arm and sat me back down again. She said "It's alright dear, we're used to it.".

And just for the record - the woman behind the counter was also aboriginal, but obviously from a different tribe.

 

[thejuice]

It's difficult when it's passive aggressive..

 

[thejuice]

I have a processing disorder too so I only pick up bits and pieces of what people say, so didn't feel confident

 

[thejuice]

But you know it instinctively and some of it matched my experiences

 

[thejuice]

I also wonder would I make it worse for her or would she not appreciate it. She might not even realise what's going on

 

[thejuice]

But you pretty much nailed what I thought was going on @Outdated

 

[Outdated]

But you pretty much nailed what I thought was going on @Outdated

I've seen far too much of it and I find it unacceptable. I was bullied a lot as a child, I'm unable to accept it as an adult. My sister's far worse than me though and can be very violent.

 

[thejuice]

I've been bullied too, now I just keep to myself. Mostly it's your so called friends

Boy style bullying doesn't require any social sophistication to understand what's going on.

 

[Judge]

Ironic to think that I recently discovered a bully from my childhood who had died a few years back. Died in state prison having violated his parole.

It figured. Karma catching up to some people in a big way. I still recall the last time I saw him years later, while in a book store at the mall. He was busy bullying someone else at the time. I looked at him and just rolled my eyes. I actually think I embarrassed him.

 

[Angular Chap]

I used to see bullying all the time when I worked in retail, although mostly from customers. Seeing 16 year olds receiving horrendous treatment on their first day of their first job and everyone just downplaying or denying it.

But what goes around comes around. Now companies are desperate for staff but can’t recruit enough because people have had enough and are walking away from this kind of treatment. Yet they still don’t seem to want to address the elephant in the room of staff treatment, they want to make it all about wages. Which is still a big issue, but I don’t see as much discussion about bullying, cliques and aggression.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

One day I was sitting in the social security office waiting for an appointment and the woman behind the counter started yelling and screaming abuse at the aboriginal client in front of her. To mention any of the terms she used in here would get my post deleted, but it's some of the worst abuse I ever heard in my life, as well as she was threatening to cut his payments off.

I vaulted out of my chair and an old lady (also aboriginal) grabbed my arm and sat me back down again. She said "It's alright dear, we're used to it.".

And just for the record - the woman behind the counter was also aboriginal, but obviously from a different tribe.

No body, deserves this type of treatment, your reaction was appropriate.

 

[Mono]

It's difficult when it's passive aggressive..

I hope I didn't make you feel like you should have acted differently or like me. If so, I'm sorry - that was not my intent. Every situation is different and it took me a long while to respond to behavior like this, still don't always do. There's still one situation I think back on that I personally feel like a coward when looking back on it. But hey, the best ideas / responses always come later, right? At least they do for me... Can't go back.

 

[Mono]

One day I was sitting in the social security office waiting for an appointment and the woman behind the counter started yelling and screaming abuse at the aboriginal client in front of her. To mention any of the terms she used in here would get my post deleted, but it's some of the worst abuse I ever heard in my life, as well as she was threatening to cut his payments off.

I vaulted out of my chair and an old lady (also aboriginal) grabbed my arm and sat me back down again. She said "It's alright dear, we're used to it.".

And just for the record - the woman behind the counter was also aboriginal, but obviously from a different tribe.

Wow, that's really terrible. No words...