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Saw someone getting bullied on their first day at work in a cafe

Who was bullying her? Trying to understand this.

Was she behind a counter and serving customers? Customers can be of varying temperaments. Not everyone wants to talk and smile. Some just want to be served and go on their way.
 
Judge said:
It figured. Karma catching up to some people in a big way. I still recall the last time I saw him years later, while in a book store at the mall. He was busy bullying someone else at the time. I looked at him and just rolled my eyes. I actually think I embarrassed him.
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When I was 18 I took on bar work as a second job. I mostly worked Thursday and Friday nights and did 14 hours on Saturdays. Just after opening on Saturday mornings it was usually very quiet, two old men down one end of the bar and two old men at the other, all of them studying their racing form guides and working out what bets they'd put on for the day.

One Saturday morning one of my old bullies staggered in still blind drunk from the night before, the manager was there at the time and told him he could only have one beer and then he had to leave again, I would have refused to serve him right from the start. He sat at a table looking towards the bar and he kept pulling angry faces and he was pounding one fist in to his palm and working himself up to a confrontation.

I ignored him for a little while but when I decided he was going to far I slapped both hands down on the bar hard to make a very loud bang and I bellowed "That's it! No more beer!". The old blokes thought I meant everyone, they all got up and grabbed an arm and a leg each and physically threw him out in to the street.

I gave them all a free beer for that.
 
Sadly a lot of people who are jealous or envious of other people do that. It is a serious problem. Being a people pleaser i can see myself very easily at that person's position. The weird thing is people who are too headstrong or confident can be bullied too. It makes no sense to me
 
AprilR said:
Sadly a lot of people who are jealous or envious of other people do that. It is a serious problem. Being a people pleaser i can see myself very easily at that person's position. The weird thing is people who are too headstrong or confident can be bullied too. It makes no sense to me
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I overheard her start to fight back just a little. I think she said "you dont think im strong enough to do this" and "you shouldnt underestimate me".

Which is good, but the tone of voice wasnt confident and was said in a jokey way, so wasnt heeded, but she'll be alright in time. When i was in full time work, I just took the bullying!

I personally think its the opposite, like @AprilR. She was bright and had natural customer social skills, just was making mistakes, probably because of the undertones of hostility. She forgot my coffee. Who cares. I was pleasantly reading my book. Of course they made a big deal out of that.
 
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Mono said:
I hope I didn't make you feel like you should have acted differently or like me. If so, I'm sorry - that was not my intent. Every situation is different and it took me a long while to respond to behavior like this, still don't always do. There's still one situation I think back on that I personally feel like a coward when looking back on it. But hey, the best ideas / responses always come later, right? :P At least they do for me... Can't go back.
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No worries. Ive stepped in, in the past, when a loner type guy was getting bullied by a bunch of teenagers. The guy didnt appreciate it and sided with the boys, sympathised with them, saying kids are alienated by adults or something like that. So you never know. I just saw them as cocky and intimidating. Not bad, just need boundaries. Turns out, everyone working in the cafe was fed up with them. I had more than enough evidence to be sure I could tell them off.
In this situation, she was so keen to be their friends, they could have all turned on me. An outsider could be seen as meddling.
 
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Take this with the spirt it is intended, and not judgmental: but I feel like those who are on the autism spectrum, in most cases, should not try to step in and "help" someone they think is being bullied. Due to our neurological condition, we misunderstand a lot of social interactions and the intentions behind them. Probably best to not jump to a conclusion when we don't have access to the full scope of the interaction.
 
Masked Man said:
Take this with the spirt it is intended, and not judgmental: but I feel like those who are on the autism spectrum, in most cases, should not try to step in and "help" someone they think is being bullied. Due to our neurological condition, we misunderstand a lot of social interactions and the intentions behind them. Probably best to not jump to a conclusion when we don't have access to the full scope of the interaction.
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Agreed, especially as sometimes the sarcasm detector is faulty
 
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