Scared by family

[Joel I]

I look a lot like my father and brother I have been fighting that my whole life. I never wanted any resemblance of people that I wanted to forget. I have mellowed a lot but still don't like the idea of looking like my family and so young too.

 

[gonzerd]

I look a lot like my father and brother I have been fighting that my whole life. I never wanted any resemblance of people that I wanted to forget. I have mellowed a lot but still don't like the idea of looking like my family and so young too.

Surprise surprise. Same here. I was able to keep that thought at bay for a long time. Right before the time I was conceived my mother took in some homeless guy while my dad was at sea. There wasn't much talk about it, but it led me to hope for a few years I wasn't my father's. But alas, we look to much alike. Maybe that was part of the shock at last year's wedding, to see that resemblance again. Here's it's the other way around. My brother is 10 years older, so it made me neurotic about age and so, something I just didn't think of at all before. All of a sudden I felt 10 years older, physically. They always forget I'm a lot younger too, which is annoying by itself. I'm pretty sure none of my siblings would be able to tell what year I was born in. Anyway, I think I'm slowly getting past it again. I don't look all the same, and I'm definitely not the same person. One good thing: I'm the tallest. They all come to my shoulders, and I'm not even that tall myself. I think my brother was actually intimidated by it.

 

[Joel I]

Surprise surprise. Same here. I was able to keep that thought at bay for a long time. Right before the time I was conceived my mother took in some homeless guy while my dad was at sea. There wasn't much talk about it, but it led me to hope for a few years I wasn't my father's. But alas, we look to much alike. Maybe that was part of the shock at last year's wedding, to see that resemblance again. Here's it's the other way around. My brother is 10 years older, so it made me neurotic about age and so, something I just didn't think of at all before. All of a sudden I felt 10 years older, physically. They always forget I'm a lot younger too, which is annoying by itself. I'm pretty sure none of my siblings would be able to tell what year I was born in. Anyway, I think I'm slowly getting past it again. I don't look all the same, and I'm definitely not the same person. One good thing: I'm the tallest. They all come to my shoulders, and I'm not even that tall myself. I think my brother was actually intimidated by it.

My older sister was born in 1981, I was born in 1984, my brother was born in 1990, my younger sister was born in 1995 at which time my parents started breaking up.

This was the family that came for my engagement party. I am in the suit in the middle, My older sister is holding wine with her husband next to her with my father on the outside on the other side of me is my brother and his girlfriend. My mother and sister would not come and support me that night.

 

[nowwhat]

My older sister was born in 1981, I was born in 1984, my brother was born in 1990, my younger sister was born in 1995 at which time my parents started breaking up.View attachment 11193This was the family that came for my engagement party. I am in the suit in the middle, My older sister is holding wine with her husband next to her with my father on the outside on the other side of me is my brother and his girlfriend. My mother and sister would not come and support me that night.

That bunch of ockers looks like they can scrap!

 

[I am that which I am]

My older sister was born in 1981, I was born in 1984, my brother was born in 1990, my younger sister was born in 1995 at which time my parents started breaking up.View attachment 11193This was the family that came for my engagement party. I am in the suit in the middle, My older sister is holding wine with her husband next to her with my father on the outside on the other side of me is my brother and his girlfriend. My mother and sister would not come and support me that night.

A word of consolation; you appear to be around your age in that photo.

 

[Joel I]

A word of consolation; you appear to be around your age in that photo.

I have apparently aged a bit in the last few years. People were thinking I was around 18 at most before

 

[gonzerd]

I have apparently aged a bit in the last few years. People were thinking I was around 18 at most before

I'd say you look your age too. There's obviously some family resemblance going on, but I wouldn't mistake you for your brother or so. You certainly have your own personality and look. If it is freaking you out, I think you could go Jim Jarmusch white grey.

 

[paloftoon]

Life is scary! The best we can do is work with what we have and deal with the situations that we must.

 

[The Penguin]

Sorry to hear about your childhood. My parents was not abusive but there was one person can't name who was. I am glad the person got caught and there was an end to it.

In summary I not scared of my family but I am not well connected either. I only talk to a few people in the family. I don't go to family events. I didn't get the support I would like to get like some others that may have a good family. The good news I learned to be independent yet I know relatives double my age still depend on people. I rather struggle and face things on my own than being with family and being used.

 

[Randomperson]

My parents added to my scar collection daily, all of my memories of them are bad ones. Frankly over 50% of my skins surface is scar tissue, and the emotional scarring is far worse. Does anyone else ever wonder why some people have kids when all they do is attempt to destroy them?

 

[I am that which I am]

I have wondered that too. Sometimes people are just ignorant and do not know how to raise kids or do not have the patience, love, or skills to do so. At other times they just think that what they do is normal. And others are sociopathic and it is more about having control over something that is completely helpless.