scared of having autism

[Jordy]

Obviously, I failed to make myself clear. Just one more try:

It's all relative. Autism is a very broad subject. There are elements of it that absolutely "suck" and there are elements that are absolutely elevating.

Which would you rather have Autism or Cerebral Palsy?
Autism or Cystic Fibrosis
Autism or Multiple Sclerosis
Autism or Parkinson's Disease
Autism or Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS)
Autism or Alzheimer's Disease
Autism or Schizophrenia
Autism or Prometheus Syndrome
Autism or Morquio Syndrome
Autism or Lupus Disease
Autism or Cancer
Autism or Crohn's Disease
This list is far longer than I care to continue with.

To clarify my point, regarding life in general, No, I don't agree autism "sucks". Looking back over my life, I am glad I am autistic. It has me me who I am and I don't want to be anybody else. There has been lots of difficulties along the way, but EVERYBODY suffers difficulties; autistic or not.

I do not believe in the "Woe is me" mentality or stifled in self pity. That is never helpful.

Autism doesn't decrease your chances of getting any of these other conditions. Objectively it still sucks, you can lookup the statistics on quality of life if you want.

Electrical engineering is special interest of mine too. Maybe autism helps in the sense that I can get out of bed and immediately start working on the same project for 12 hours straight, and do that days on end. But i would still rather just be normal.

 

[Dagan]

I think I can relate. I found out my diagnosis and immediately went into this self-reflection kind of collapse into myself where I just started to second guess my entire life - every choice made, every failed interaction or relationship with anyone, just everything - wondering if all of what I have ever chosen and thinking that it was absolutely 100% correct - was it? Was I wrong about a lot and just making overwhelmed, anxious decisions instead? Was I a mess in the many times that I thought I was just fine and stable? Question after question flooded my brain.

It took me about a solid year to process those thoughts and realize that I'm still me and would have faced practically every decision, still, and I would have made all of the same decisions knowing my diagnosis, anyway.

I think that we are people very much prone to second guessing and being analytical no matter what, and any kind of a huge change to how we have to perceive ourselves is what hits harder and overwhelms us. I have heard it described comparable to going through the five stages of grief. I kind of agree. You just have to process it - your own way, not exactly someone else's - and you will be okay. I have found that the best change to come from knowing myself better, is that I have more of a prepared mind for anything planned or even anything just thrown my way suddenly (which I still mostly don't like, but I can deal with it).

 

[Ken]

Autism doesn't decrease your chances of getting any of these other conditions. Objectively it still sucks, you can lookup the statistics on quality of life if you want.

Electrical engineering is special interest of mine too. Maybe autism helps in the sense that I can get out of bed and immediately start working on the same project for 12 hours straight, and do that days on end. But i would still rather just be normal.

Again, I failed to make myself clear. Won't try again as I now understand why my point is not taken.

But, I would like to point out that my point has absolutely nothing to do with autism affecting the chances of any other condition. Indeed, I am autistic and also have some of the conditions in that list.

Objectively it still sucks, you can lookup the statistics on quality of life if you want.

That's funny. "Look up the statistics on quality of life???" I've just spent 70 years, 8 months and 24 days living with autism. Also I have been extensively researching autism and it's statistics since I learned about it in early 2019. I am very well aware of what living with autism is like.

Your interest in electrical engineering is intriguing, what field are your projects primarily in? Do you prefer hardware design or software/firmware or both?

I guess the thing we can agree on is that you wish to be normal. I do not. I do not like how the general public / NT's think and react. I do not want to be a generic member of the "hive". I do not want to be a "Borg". I don't want to be like them. But, to each their own.

 

[Darkkin]

“Fear comes from the lack of knowledge and a state of ignorance. The best remedy for fear is to gain knowledge.” ― Debasish Mridha

 

[musicallessness]

(I am undiagnosed, but fit many symptoms perfectly)

I'm EXTREMELY new to this, like didn't even consider having any form of autism until 24 hours ago. But a family member came to me and pointed out a lot of symptoms that I exhibit, and after thinking it over, I keep seeing more and more evidence in myself that it's true.

I'm 21 years old, a few months into a new job that I feel I'm actually going to keep for a bit. And I hope I'm on the verge of really starting my life. and I'm now terrified that I might be doomed to not live the life I want.

I've always had social issues, always talked a little differently, and never really have been able to keep a relationship with a significant other for long. Things I've always strived and hoped I could get better with and improve on. But now I feel like any hopes of improving in life is just gonna be halted.

My home is not accommodating for what's going on with me, outside of that one family member that mentioned something to me, I find my family to be fairly toxic and I'm terrified to mention anything to them.

I feel like the life I want and have been hopeful to achieve was just shown to be impossible for me and I don't know what to do now, I always thought it was just depression or social anxiety that would mostly go away once I really got out into the world, but now that I'm so close to actually doing that, I'm afraid nothing will ever change.

I really don't know what I'm expecting from posting this here, but I'm just so scared and I don't know who in my life to talk to about this.

Oh snap, first off sorry for the toxicity and second, I have had many burner phones and accounts.sometimes you have to put yourself out there and tell you story. Have you tried writing lots and rereading and organizing into books and maybe err the impossible of becoming a world famous author that the movie industry can make those books become magical and then make a lovely residual income from books and movies and err haha action figures aka dolls. Oh make sure there some comedic relief in the drama of the books read Shakespeare he one of the oldest playwrights actors renaissance men.
Our story deserves not to be wasted but rest assured some won't want you story to be known because if you saying you family is toxic let know tell you if you feel they are envious of you the. They are. Of what? Hmm really therapists? Sounds like those therapists of mine asking me of what are jealous themselves.
Happy freedom enjoy life surrender to death before you die and it's like every day is a thank you and filled with riches beyond my eyes can see. But then I see my imagination again.
Remember smile cause you're worth it

 

[musicallessness]

Welcome!

The cool thing about having ASD is that it doesn't change much (as @Outdated said), but allows you to better understand what you're dealing with. I went 26-ish years thinking I was just some kind of weird failure with social anxiety, and I really just ended up with an explanation for it all. It doesn't mean I can stop working on myself (far from it, honestly, I feel like the diagnosis helped me help myself better in so many ways) but offers a little insight into why certain things are so much harder for me than most NTs I know.

These feelings are normal at first, though. Denial post-diagnosis is even normal imho. But I don't think you'll regret figuring all of that stuff out as it comes. Hope you stick around!

Haha denial is a stage of grief and I could be a master at denial especially when I catch my toxic mother in lies and repeat as she's yelling and screaming at me, 'im not lying' to which o repeat 'denuing is not lying' and sometimes I say, 'denying is not lying, mother'
Thx for your reply it help me too.

 

[Jordy]

Your interest in electrical engineering is intriguing, what field are your projects primarily in? Do you prefer hardware design or software/firmware or both?

I am mostly interested in digital circuits. I wanted to go the way of fpga and/or asic engeering.