Scopophobia (Scoptophobia)

[Lichi]

I hope he still felt lucky to have you. Especially if he knew beforehand that it upset you for him to do that. Even so, we all do things that aren't the greatest but it shouldn't stop someone from caring when we do.

Well that outburst certainly did make us both aware of me not liking it. I always have had problems with wording my social boundaries and that was the first time I raged out like that about it. But yeah definitely a part of my anxiety too.

 

[rainfall]

It's interesting to learn about but trying to nail down specific phobias and such would drive me crazy because I feel like there is a lot of contradiction.

I understand you here. I think it's because we're all so different and so things present in each of us a bit differently and to varying degrees.

I think the worst trigger overall is with men though. I'm not sure why, I've never really had like a traumatic experience that I can attribute this to, but I feel anxious around men in general and have a feeling like all of them are either trying to hurt me or take advantage of me sexually, even those that I've known forever. It's just automatic.

Sometimes, we repress traumatic incidents because we can't deal with them. Other times, it's because we may not see it as something that bad now but was when we were younger. Something as simple as a male getting too close to your face or being too touchy even if not in a sexual way, severe disappointment from a male you looked up to or respected could cause trauma. It's not always the worst things that cause it because certain things will affect you in a way they might not affect me and vice versa. I hope that made sense. haha

I think the worst is when people are making jokes and they reference me and there is an expectation to participate, but a lot of times the sarcasm goes over my head and I have no idea what's going on or why something is funny until later when I ask someone to explain it to me.

I do this too. Do you normally get sarcasm or is it usually hard to make out? I usually get it but in the moment when I'm full of anxiety I can't think straight.

I've thought about it a lot since then and wondered if I had some kind of extra-sensory perception, like I could sense he had skeletons in his closet of some kind and I was reacting to that haha! What made me think this was that in this occasion where I was panicking, that energy transferred to him and he got really nervous as well. He was walking out of the shop with his coffee after having had that interaction with me and someone he knew called his name. He jumped out of his skin like a cat! He could barely respond. I thought, holy crap what did I do to him? Just very strange....

I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience!! It's the worst when you don't even know why you're feeling a certain way. I believe that ceratin people are more sensitive to others and it's possible you picked up on something that others could not and it made you more nervous. It's also possible, if something did happen in your past to cause your fears, he could've had the same feel about him that the man in your past did. Your mind wouldn't understand it but the memory would still be there.

Haha I can imagine that was a bit funny seeing him react like that. Maybe he also picked up a little of your uneasiness with him and was in thought about it wondering why you reacted the way you did to him when his name was called. You never really know but it's definitely interesting.

 

[rainfall]

Oh sorry s/s means symptoms (medical shorthand). I had a typo- meant to say I don't get the anxiety symptoms but do feel uncomfortable.

Ah, thank you for explaining. I learned something new.

It's ok about the typo. I understood what you meant. I have a few family members that I always have to decipher their texts so I've gotten better at it but sometimes I can still be puzzled!

 

[Judge]

Thank you for answering my question. I've always been somewhat sensitive to medicine and only take it when absolutely necessary because of that. With some I've taken before, each one after the other gave me worse symptoms. The last one resulting in life threatening side effects related to my heart as well.

I'm hesitant to try but not completely against it. The fact that you've had success in overcoming some of your fears this way initially is encouraging. Minus the scary side effects of course.

It's a hurdle in what I call "drug therapy". I can only suggest you be very vigilant when taking new medications. If they make you the slightest bit uncomfortable physically or mentally, cease taking them and notify your physician. For me it was quite a "hit and miss" proposition. But it paid off to hang in there, since I did ultimately find something that I thought addressed my symptoms.

 

[rainfall]

Well that outburst certainly did make us both aware of me not liking it. I always have had problems with wording my social boundaries and that was the first time I raged out like that about it. But yeah definitely a part of my anxiety too.

Oh, so you weren't aware before that moment? Well, it's good that you learned it with someone you could trust at the time.

I have a hard time wording the social boundaries too. Partly because I can't figure out how to say it without sounding like I'm expecting someone to cater to me because that's not what I mean in the least, just be respectful of them.

 

[rainfall]

It's a hurdle in what I call "drug therapy". I can only suggest you be very vigilant when taking new medications. If they make you the slightest bit uncomfortable physically or mentally, cease taking them and notify your physician. For me it was quite a "hit and miss" proposition. But it paid off to hang in there, since I did ultimately find something that I thought addressed my symptoms.

I'm glad you did finally find something that helped. It's a bit scary, medicine. The previous problem got so bad because I don't normally take anything on a regular basis and I couldn't figure out what was causing the issue. I finally realized the only new thing was the medication and immediately stopped taking it and over the next few days the symptoms subsided. I'll definitely be more vigilant in the future, thank you for the reminder.

 

[WittyAspie]

YEP. 100%. It's funny because as a child (under age 13) I could sing solos in church and at school. Then at a certain point around that time, people talking to me that I didn't know well or men in general was traumatizing. It's interesting to learn about but trying to nail down specific phobias and such would drive me crazy because I feel like there is a lot of contradiction. For example, I was a competitive dancer all the way through college. I loved showing off because I was really good at Irish dancing. I took a million dance classes, always got solos, performed in high school color guard, etc. I even taught. I taught dance classes, then in a more traditional setting at a school for kids with autism. I felt more or less confident with teaching itself, it was the perceived judgment of coworkers and expected interaction with them that I couldn't handle. When I have something to say in front of friends, I can feel more or less confident, but other times it is absolutely mortifying when someone addresses me in some way. Mostly when the group is more than 2 people. I think the worst is when people are making jokes and they reference me and there is an expectation to participate, but a lot of times the sarcasm goes over my head and I have no idea what's going on or why something is funny until later when I ask someone to explain it to me.

I can no longer sing in public, not even kinda. The first time I tried after that age point around 13, I basically had a panic attack and couldn't even breathe. I still like to sing, so I record stuff and put it online lol.

I think there is some phobia that is defined similar to this but applies to oral capability. Don't know what it is though. If it is a structured environment, like an interview, I do quite well. But chatting with coworkers and stuff, man it's near impossible. I think the worst trigger overall is with men though. I'm not sure why, I've never really had like a traumatic experience that I can attribute this to, but I feel anxious around men in general and have a feeling like all of them are either trying to hurt me or take advantage of me sexually, even those that I've known forever. It's just automatic.

There was one instance when I worked at a coffee shop and a man would come in almost every day for his "usual" which was a mocha latte. He never did anything overt that anyone would consider unsettling at all. But for some reason, his coming into the shop triggered near panic attacks. I would get short of breath, my cheeks would flush (which would make me even more embarrassed, this is the worst feeling in the world because I think people interpret blushing as a sign that you like them, which isn't true and then feeds the cycle of feeling embarrassed, which makes you even more flushed, etc.) and it took everything in me to keep from running out of the coffee shop. One time it was so bad when he came in that I had to bend down and open the mini fridge door and pretend to be looking for something I didn't need in desperation to hide how red my cheeks were and to try and start breathing again. I've thought about it a lot since then and wondered if I had some kind of extra-sensory perception, like I could sense he had skeletons in his closet of some kind and I was reacting to that haha! What made me think this was that in this occasion where I was panicking, that energy transferred to him and he got really nervous as well. He was walking out of the shop with his coffee after having had that interaction with me and someone he knew called his name. He jumped out of his skin like a cat! He could barely respond. I thought, holy crap what did I do to him? Just very strange....

What kind of music do you record? Would you be interested in sharing it with us?

 

[WittyAspie]

It's a hurdle in what I call "drug therapy". I can only suggest you be very vigilant when taking new medications. If they make you the slightest bit uncomfortable physically or mentally, cease taking them and notify your physician. For me it was quite a "hit and miss" proposition. But it paid off to hang in there, since I did ultimately find something that I thought addressed my symptoms.

I swore off all drugs not too long ago. Being on the wrong ones really screwed up my life. But maybe if I had a reliable physician I could attempt medication again. I'm glad you found some that work for you.

 

[Judge]

I swore off all drugs not too long ago. Being on the wrong ones really screwed up my life. But maybe if I had a reliable physician I could attempt medication again. I'm glad you found some that work for you.

Well, that particular medication helped with my symptoms for a number of years. However it was eventually taken off the market given unforeseen side effects. Like pulmonary atrial contractions.

So I wouldn't quite call this a success story on my part.

But as I mentioned earlier, I hope the science has improved since then, with much better alternatives.

 

[Adora]

Yeah I definitely don’t like to be stared at,I don’t know if it’s due to experiences I have had in the past that may have contributed to it but when I know someone is staring at me it makes me very uncomfortable and also another thing is I don’t like people walking too close to me.

 

[rainfall]

Yeah I definitely don’t like to be stared at,I don’t know if it’s due to experiences I have had in the past that may have contributed to it but when I know someone is staring at me it makes me very uncomfortable and also another thing is I don’t like people walking too close to me.

I read that people on the spectrum and those who have disabilities often have this because of their experiences growing up were less than ideal.

I don't either unless I know them. Familiarity seems to be a factor for me. If they are familiar do you mind if they walk close or is it uncomfortable always?

 

[Adora]

I read that people on the spectrum and those who have disabilities often have this because of their experiences growing up were less than ideal.

I don't either unless I know them. Familiarity seems to be a factor for me. If they are familiar do you mind if they walk close or is it uncomfortable always?

Depends,I don’t have any problems with my husband being close to me but even with some people i know I do get a bit uncomfortable if they are too close to me but familiarity does ease it a little.

 

[rainfall]

Depends,I don’t have any problems with my husband being close to me but even with some people i know I do get a bit uncomfortable if they are too close to me but familiarity does ease it a little.

So, it's a bit of familiarity and comfort? That makes sense. Just because they are familiar doesn't mean you are comfortable with that person. I have to agree as I'm the same way. Thank you for answering my question.

 

[ECM2018]

I hate surprise hugs from friends. If I know a hug is coming, then I can prepare for it. But one time a friend who was sitting next me thought she would be cute and she just wrapped her arms around me and put her head on my shoulder and gave me a hug. I almost punched her in the face I was so repulsed but I kept my composure. I think everyone else could see I wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't a big deal. She's never done it again though haha =)

 

[GrownupGirl]

This is one phobia I don't really have.

 

[Suzanne]

I'm sorry that you suffer to such a greater degree than I do. I hope that the medicine you've been prescribed will be able to help relieve even some of your anxiety and that you are able to live more comfortably in your own home.

It is ok, rainfall. I am fine INDOORS now and even a little part of our garden. But, yes, I am hoping the meds work, since the side effect is extreme tiredness and feeling sluggish, which I hate. I promised by my husband and therapist that I would not look up any about my meds and allow 3 week's for change.

I joked with hubby, when we went to Lidl. I cannot return the trolley, because they are too close to the door of the supermarket and so, I said: the day that I just take that trolley without a word, is the day you can tell the medicine is working!

It is awful to have to make great mental effort in order to do just a small thing as take the rubbish to the bins, which is only about 5 seconds away from my home, but in truth, it might as well be on the other side of the planet, for the panic I get into!

 

[Suzanne]

I hate surprise hugs from friends. If I know a hug is coming, then I can prepare for it. But one time a friend who was sitting next me thought she would be cute and she just wrapped her arms around me and put her head on my shoulder and gave me a hug. I almost punched her in the face I was so repulsed but I kept my composure. I think everyone else could see I wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't a big deal. She's never done it again though haha =)

I jump and so, I am constantly on the alert when I am around people, because the jump is too vicious and shocks even the person who has come to say hello or hug me.

 

[Progster]

Yes, I feel anxious and uncomfortable when people are looking at me or watching me. It sometimes means that I won't go into a store if I'm the only customer, or that I won't approach people to ask for help or directions, and I avoid interaction with strangers. On the other hand, it's manageable if I am prepared and psych myself up to it - it's uncomfortable, but I can override it and it doesn't stop me from being independent.

 

[rainfall]

It is ok, rainfall. I am fine INDOORS now and even a little part of our garden.

Awesome! That's great you're ok indoors and that small bit of garden. Baby steps are still great victories.

I joked with hubby, when we went to Lidl. I cannot return the trolley, because they are too close to the door of the supermarket and so, I said: the day that I just take that trolley without a word, is the day you can tell the medicine is working!

HAHA That's a great indicator of progress, being able to do something that was previously extremely difficult to nigh impossible.

It is awful to have to make great mental effort in order to do just a small thing as take the rubbish to the bins, which is only about 5 seconds away from my home, but in truth, it might as well be on the other side of the planet, for the panic I get into!

I agree. I hope that you will soon be able to do a great many things that anxiety and panic has kept you from.

 

[rainfall]

Yes, I feel anxious and uncomfortable when people are looking at me or watching me. It sometimes means that I won't go into a store if I'm the only customer, or that I won't approach people to ask for help or directions, and I avoid interaction with strangers. On the other hand, it's manageable if I am prepared and psych myself up to it - it's uncomfortable, but I can override it and it doesn't stop me from being independent.

When did you figure out that preparing yourself made a difference? It's a marked difference from impossible to manageable and very encouraging.

I've often wondered if mind over matter can play a role in dealing with this. What you've written makes me more hopeful, thank you. I don't think I usually prepare myself and just kind of do whatever I have to do. I will definitely give this a try. You think it would be common sense but apparently not for me.