Self diagnosed at 22, and no idea how to move on

[GoldenWanderer]

Hi and welcome from one new member to another. This bit of my post jogged me memory of myself at a young age. Most other boys played with action figures (It was Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers back in those days) or sports. I however couldn't even force myself to take interest in that. I was obsessed with hotwheels cars, Lego (In which I would usually build vehicles) and model trains.

You may be missing out on some vital human experience, but it sounds like are doing much better than many. I wish I had some good advice. Maybe anxiety medication would go a long way for you.

Exactly! I never got into those toys either, or any action figures or "imaginative" toys. Instead I also preferred hot wheels and legos. I always loved building things, but they were either vehicles, by the book, or perfectly symmetrical buildings haha. Damn I actually really miss that time in my life.

As for the anxiety, I'm skeptical on many medications due to my holistic upbringing, but I suppose I could do a little research. I guess I'm kinda to the point that I've felt this anxiety my whole life, and it may not be comfortable, but it's familiar, and I'm accustomed to it. I use the word accustomed loosely, as it still sucks, it can still cripple me, but I know the routine now and know what to expect, at least.

 

[Pariah Dog]

Exactly! I never got into those toys either, or any action figures or "imaginative" toys. Instead I also preferred hot wheels and legos. I always loved building things, but they were either vehicles, by the book, or perfectly symmetrical buildings haha. Damn I actually really miss that time in my life.

As for the anxiety, I'm skeptical on many medications due to my holistic upbringing, but I suppose I could do a little research. I guess I'm kinda to the point that I've felt this anxiety my whole life, and it may not be comfortable, but it's familiar, and I'm accustomed to it. I use the word accustomed loosely, as it still sucks, it can still cripple me, but I know the routine now and know what to expect, at least.

The symmetry! I also had that obsession. I would be irritated if my little brother built a asymmetric lego creation and insist he fixes it. I remember one time I built a 4 axle missile carrying truck (think like the sort of thing Kim Jong Un would proudly parade down the street.) I built it with the cab offset to the left because the engine space would presumably be in the middle. I thought it a radical idea in my own mind but mechanically logical and it brought about some change to my ideas of symmetry.

 

[GoldenWanderer]

The symmetry! I also had that obsession. I would be irritated if my little brother built a asymmetric lego creation and insist he fixes it. I remember one time I built a 4 axle missile carrying truck (think like the sort of thing Kim Jong Un would proudly parade down the street.) I built it with the cab offset to the left because the engine space would presumably be in the middle. I thought it a radical idea in my own mind but mechanically logical and it brought about some change to my ideas of symmetry.

Exactly! As I aged, I also noticed my idea of symmetry changing. I have a bunch of unwritten rules to something being acceptable, and being "mechanically logical," as you put it, is absolutely near the top of that list now.