Self-Diagnosed Female Seeking a Formal Diagnosis (Aspergers Syndrome)

[jayraytee]

I get what you're saying..
I'm not sure if you thought that I was implying that I must have Aspergers due to having struggles in social situations only but there are so many reasons why I believe I do have it. I didn't realise that it had become a "thing" or was considered to be a 'hip community to be a part of'. It saddens me that a cognitive disorder has become somewhat trendy to some people....

Thank you for your response, I think I will look into a diagnosis.

Yeah I am not implying anything about you. Other than don't trust me or anyone else about whether you have aspergers or not, get an expert's opinion. None of us are experts on anything but ourselves, and even that is cloudy at times.

Before I got my diagnosis I was pretty sure aspergers was 'the thing'.. mainly because of the classic.. social issues and hyper focus on interests stuff... that is me. But when I talked to the expert, he used a process to rule out other less known issues that look similar. He also watched for and pointed out to me various 'aspergian' behaviors that I was exhibiting while talking to him that I was not even aware of. But he was right on the money. One thing he noticed was that if he said something I didn't understand, I didn't question him. I just stayed silent, nodded and 'acted' normal.

I wanted to have an official diagnosis to understand myself. No real other reason, I wanted to know why I do the things I do, etc. If I understand it, I can find ways to help myself cope with some things. For example, for a long time I had terrible migraines and back pain, I went to chiropractors and had x-rays done, had allergies checked out, so on and so on. Even was prescribed pain killers for a while. Now I know it has to do with aspergers syndrome and general anxiety; I get stressed when I have to interact with people a lot because I don't read body language well and generally I memorize conversations to play them back in my head later to study the context of what was said to differentiate between multiple possible meanings of statements. I also 'act' neuro typical in social situations which is exhausting. I don't feel the anxiety and stress, it comes out later as a headache.

So, since I believe I should be the way I am and wouldn't want to change. I need to understand what is going on with me and find ways to work around it in order to avoid the headaches. I have to limit social interactions, or excuse myself after a certain amount of time, and it would help if during conversations I actually stopped people and had them clarify meanings on the spot so I don't have to replay it later.

Until he pointed out that I did that, I didn't even realize it. I knew it, but never thought about it. It was 'normal' for me to ruminate over conversations.

An expert offers sooooooo much more information, they typically have a lot of experience with all the issues, behaviors, pitfalls and tips on how to live better.

 

[Servelan]

At a certain point on the spectrum, I think it's hard to get a 'formal' diagnosis because we've adapted to living in a neuro-typical world and I'm guessing that a lot of our attempts to fit in muffle or mask our characteristics. At 60, that was my problem...I took the 'aspie' test online, and yes, I'm one; I thought back, after my self-diagnosis, aided by my counselor, and yes, it explains just about everything that makes me who and what I am, and I read material, and continue to read material on the subject and that has revealed even more. Working with my counselor, we came to the conclusion that I walk like a duck, quack like a duck, and therefore....

 

[Marmalade]

About four years ago, I was speaking with an older family friend and mentioned that I feel like I'm different to others. She has known me since I was born and has professed in social work. She told me that, particularly as a child she has noticed that I show traits of Aspergers syndrome.

Having never heard of this syndrome, I began to research what it is and identified heavily with what I was reading. I remember feeling extremely relieved to finally have an explanation for some of my behaviours and characteristics.
For these past four years, I have identified as someone who has Aspergers syndrome. However when I wish the explain this to someone, I feel that I don't really have the right to due to not having a formal diagnosis.

Over the years I do often go back to articles about the syndrome, especially at times when I am feeling socially rejected or misunderstood; either by other people or at times even myself.
I have developed a drinking problem because I self-medicate my social anxiety with alcohol in order to enjoy social situations. As someone who also suffers with anxiety and depression this has further damaged my mental health. I am trying to quit drinking but my social dependence on it has made this extremely challenging.

I understand that it is common for experts to have trouble diagnosing Aspergers in women.
I think that a formal diagnosis would be a significant step forward in becoming more at ease with myself and also feeling that I can rightfully be open about it with others would be a significant weight lifted off my shoulders.
However, I am really concerned about being turned away undiagnosed. The one explanation that I have to hold on to will be taken away from me and I'll be back to square one and lose the one bit of sense of self that I have.
This would be devastating for me and is the reason why I have held off obtaining the diagnosis for so long.

I'm not sure what to do, it feels somewhat invalid without a formal diagnosis. Would you recommend me looking into getting one and could you tell me what the process would entail?

I'm sorry for the long post but thank you so much if you have read this far. Any help and/or advice will be greatly appreciated!

About four years ago, I was speaking with an older family friend and mentioned that I feel like I'm different to others. She has known me since I was born and has professed in social work. She told me that, particularly as a child she has noticed that I show traits of Aspergers syndrome.

Having never heard of this syndrome, I began to research what it is and identified heavily with what I was reading. I remember feeling extremely relieved to finally have an explanation for some of my behaviours and characteristics.
For these past four years, I have identified as someone who has Aspergers syndrome. However when I wish the explain this to someone, I feel that I don't really have the right to due to not having a formal diagnosis.

Over the years I do often go back to articles about the syndrome, especially at times when I am feeling socially rejected or misunderstood; either by other people or at times even myself.
I have developed a drinking problem because I self-medicate my social anxiety with alcohol in order to enjoy social situations. As someone who also suffers with anxiety and depression this has further damaged my mental health. I am trying to quit drinking but my social dependence on it has made this extremely challenging.

I understand that it is common for experts to have trouble diagnosing Aspergers in women.
I think that a formal diagnosis would be a significant step forward in becoming more at ease with myself and also feeling that I can rightfully be open about it with others would be a significant weight lifted off my shoulders.
However, I am really concerned about being turned away undiagnosed. The one explanation that I have to hold on to will be taken away from me and I'll be back to square one and lose the one bit of sense of self that I have.
This would be devastating for me and is the reason why I have held off obtaining the diagnosis for so long.

I'm not sure what to do, it feels somewhat invalid without a formal diagnosis. Would you recommend me looking into getting one and could you tell me what the process would entail?

I'm sorry for the long post but thank you so much if you have read this far. Any help and/or advice will be greatly appreciated!

I think the "heavy identification" is a valid diagnosis.

My friend who I've identified as having Aspergers, has classic characteristics except he makes steady eye contact when talking in attempt to determine what his proper reaction should be. He is very charming and can read others when emotion is not involved. Unfortunately, he makes hurtful mistakes in his readings when emotion and intuition are involved, which is why I became interested in aspergers. I guessed. Also, I figured there was a reason why his two wives left him. I did ask him if he'd been so diagnosed but he made a word joke of the name - which indicated a familiarity with the term.
.
He is a brilliant technologist, loved his work(retired) but developed alcoholism. His work mates did an intervention and he, not wanting their good intensions to go to waste, discovered AA. It was a God-send full of generous, nonjudgmental folk. He hasn't had a drink in 30 years, has a group of friends to touch base and help when tech. problems arise, three times a week, and enjoys interacting with strangers in passing. AA is not for everyone, but could be worth a look-see.

 

[Nicole]

Hi HollyBobbins and everyone,

I am also self diagnosed Aspie. I am a high school teacher with special ed training and who works with students with ASD on a regular basis. I don't think being self diagnosed makes you any less Autistic than someone who is 'official'.

I have been diagnosed with Anxiety and see a psychologist regularly, however he said that he is not qualified to diagnose adults with ASD let alone women. He said that there is a strong possibility, but it is not worth the large amount of money and time required for an 'official' diagnosis. I've spoken to an organisation that deals with Autistic people and they have also said that there is little need for an official diagnosis as long as I have an awareness, etc as I am coping well enough in society.

That said, I access assistance from an Autistic society in Australia. The only difference is that if I had an 'official' diagnosis I would receive money from the government to pay for these services. They are happy to help me with my ASD regardless if I am self or officially diagnosed.

My point is, therefore, that as long as you are aware of your ASD and are prepared to find the assistance you need, then that is enough. If you can hold down a job and can function well enough in society then self diagnosis is enough. I don't have any friends, misunderstand people's intentions and feelings regularly, get obsessed by random things, get overwhelmed by loud noises and strong smells, but I get by. And I think, that is enough.

Good luck in your quest for answers, HollyBobbins.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

I can't get a referral as the doctor said I'm very intelligent (yeah, some of us are!) and I tick too many social boxes, even though I've struggled in the areas she mentioned (having worked, being married etc). I came out in a group of 4 a couple of months ago, and again with some of my family, by saying I believe I'm autistic.
Although I enjoy a drink, it is something I can take or leave. When I was younger and really struggling with depression, work etc, I made a conscious choice not to turn to alcohol to steady my nerves or help me cope, as I realised that's how addiction can start. I still don't now, I'd rather make myself a cup of tea, and that's what I'd do if I had to comfort someone else who was in distress.
I don't now what help is available elsewhere, but in the UK, there's Alcoholics Anonymous of course. I'm sure you wouldn't be the only one struggling with other problems as well, and the counsellors there might point you in the right direction if you need help in an area that they're not qualified to deal with.