Should I quit my job and become a NEET?

[Swansong]

Thoughts of isolating and becoming the ultimate video gamer at the expense of everything else in my life?

I thought that was just called being a young man these days...

*Looks at self having reached gold rank at League of Legends.*

 

[Fino]

The fact that you have considered this at least once before over a relatively long period of time is at least somewhat of an indication that you really want it.

 

[Metalhead]

I want to zone out and numb myself. Not interested in dying but I am interested in not feeling much of anything right now.

 

[Thinx]

Getting some support for your mental health does sound a good idea. You sound down and depressed. Actually I wouldn't say that your boss wanting you in the office is a sign of anything except that she really values you and wants your in person input. You've made yourself indispensable. Is there any way of living nearer to work? As you work full time, is renting a place nearer work feasible?

 

[Metalhead]

I often wonder if I would have been taken seriously as a film critic if I did not let my mother bully me out of my website long ago. I am pathetic, I should have just told her to piss off and I should have just lived my life.

 

[Metalhead]

I turned down so many opportunities in my life trying to appease my worthless mother who did not want me to succeed in anything in my life. I am a worthless castrato of a human being for letting her gaslight me into wasting so many years of my life. If I died now nothing of value would be lost. I am stuck in a situation I never wanted because I turned down so many positive opportunities for that worthless woman. I have no balls. I am not a man. I am a eunuch.

 

[Aspychata]

I often wonder if I would have been taken seriously as a film critic if I did not let my mother bully me out of my website long ago. I am pathetic, I should have just told her to piss off and I should have just lived my life.

I say yes. You would have been a great critic. But you still have a shot at writing. You just need to take care of your ankle.

 

[Aspychata]

I turned down so many opportunities in my life trying to appease my worthless mother who did not want me to succeed in anything in my life. I am a worthless castrato of a human being for letting her gaslight me into wasting so many years of my life. If I died now nothing of value would be lost. I am stuck in a situation I never wanted because I turned down so many positive opportunities for that worthless woman. I have no balls. I am not a man. I am a eunuch.

I feel the same about myself. Mine was bad choices in men because l came from deep insecurity. And l still struggle on my path, and l think for what reason? My mom and l never hit it off. I am a result of her bad choice in a boyfriend. Where do we go from here? How are we suppose to feel in our lifetime?

 

[Metalhead]

I feel the same about myself. Mine was bad choices in men because l came from deep insecurity. And l still struggle on my path, and l think for what reason? My mom and l never hit it off. I am a result of her bad choice in a boyfriend. Where do we go from here? How are we suppose to feel in our lifetime?

I would have pursued higher education. I would have learned how to code. I would have had a job I would be happier at. I would not have been infantilized and forced onto SSDI. I would have sought out solid mental health care earlier instead of having a complete breakdown which my mother still uses as leverage against me today. I would still have my movie website and it might have gained a decent following. I can’t blame my mother - I let her gaslight me. I let her always tell me that I would be a failure at the things I wanted to do with my life.

 

[Aspychata]

Think we just wanted a loving mom and support to make it in our lifetime. I don't think that's asking too much. My stress levels are high, so l am crawling into bed. Don't let this speed bump get to you.

 

[Metalhead]

I just took a couple of shots of NyQuil to force myself to sleep. Momentarily I will forget how my lack of spine has always been my downfall.

 

[AprilR]

This idea is always in my mind also. But my job makes me feel useful and keeps me busy so it is not so bad so far.

You know yourself best so you should make a decision based on your needs and wants. Being a NEET isn't bad, if you think you can be happy that way.

 

[Shaddock]

My boss recently told me that she needs me in the office five days a week and if my ankle makes it impossible, I would be unemployed very quickly.

in germany we - in theory - have something called "job protection", which means that the employer can not fire you that simple. even so called "operational dismissal" is restricted.

so - in theory - to fire you, you have to make something really bad. but in truth, when employer want to fire you, but have no right for that, they just bully you or invent pleas. sometimes they intimidate you and say that they start bullying you, when you don´t go "on your own." that´s called "gegangen worden" gegangen = gone, worden = to get. to get gone. "you got gone."

bullying people is very often to force people to go "on their own" from employers or from colleagues.

and - in theory - you can just go to a doctor when you feel sick, he gives you a so called "Arbeitsunfähigkeitsbescheinigung" (AU), "proof for (temporary) incapacity for work" and so you get sickness allowance. I think you can get 8 weeks full loan and after that 70% of it or similar. and usually only the doctor decides and not the employer.

some people abuse it and are sick forever, often in connection to a so called "inner dismissal." some are really sick, because of bullying, depression or physical sickness.

so when a employer would fire you, because of sickness, it would be imadmissible and a court (if you would sue), would give you right.

but I guess I heard of a so called "hire and fire" mentality in america lol. is that true?

can he just fire you? what´s when you´re sick, do you get money? is that behavior of your employer "normal" for employers in your country or is it "just" your employer? is it just your profession or is it the same for (most) other professions?

 

[Shaddock]

ok I guess, I missed maybe a bit the topic, but okay^^

so it´s more that you feel depressed and sick from your job...

 

[Rodafina]

@Metalhead,
I hope you woke up from some kind of sleep feeling a bit better. I know how much lack of sleep can really start to complicate any issues that seem to keep turning around in our heads.

But, hopefully a new day also brings you a bit of a new perspective on your situation and how difficult things are right now. It’s hard when our well-being ebbs and flows so extremely… Not long ago you were writing about a mounting anxiety from things feeling so good and stable. We discussed, in a thread, how our minds really start to go wacky when we don’t have immediate anxiety and depression to manage.

It’s almost like a catch-22 where when we are in the throes of intense emotions, we can engage and we can use our skills and tools to handle them, but then, does that just lead us to a new calm that is full of newly manufactured anxiety?

Anyway, I just wanted to highlight that you did feel well not too long ago, according to what you were posting, and I imagine that you can get back to that place soon. My current goal is to close the gaps on the ebbs and flows of depression and anxiety and reduce the intensity of how high and low my emotions get. I am seeking the middle ground, but probably here among many autistics, it would make sense that I am having a difficult time finding the gray.

Anyway, that was a lot about me when this thread is about you. I guess I’m just saying that maybe a mindset of riding this out (with support and therapy and anything else that helps you) and looking toward and imagining when things are better could help you through this difficult time. Knowing that you will not get stuck here in this moment, but with a little work and exercising all the things you’ve learned you can move forward to a more satisfying place in your life.

 

[Aspychata]

I just took a couple of shots of NyQuil to force myself to sleep. Momentarily I will forget how my lack of spine has always been my downfall.

Don't believe this. Don't beat yourself up. Find me one person who is perfect? They don't exist. You moved away from your mom. That took a lot of guts to leave that situation because you are a "battered male". It is a syndrome. Go look it up. I had battered female syndrome when l left my marriage. It took at least 2 years to work thru it. Some of it is establishing boundaries, saying the word no, and not over using anything to cover up your feelings. The final part of my journey is to call people out if l think they are gaslighting me or being disrespectful. You got this.

 

[Aspychata]

@Metalhead,
I hope you woke up from some kind of sleep feeling a bit better. I know how much lack of sleep can really start to complicate any issues that seem to keep turning around in our heads.

But, hopefully a new day also brings you a bit of a new perspective on your situation and how difficult things are right now. It’s hard when our well-being ebbs and flows so extremely… Not long ago you were writing about a mounting anxiety from things feeling so good and stable. We discussed, in a thread, how our minds really start to go wacky when we don’t have immediate anxiety and depression to manage.

It’s almost like a catch-22 where when we are in the throes of intense emotions, we can engage and we can use our skills and tools to handle them, but then, does that just lead us to a new calm that is full of newly manufactured anxiety?

Anyway, I just wanted to highlight that you did feel well not too long ago, according to what you were posting, and I imagine that you can get back to that place soon. My current goal is to close the gaps on the ebbs and flows of depression and anxiety and reduce the intensity of how high and low my emotions get. I am seeking the middle ground, but probably here among many autistics, it would make sense that I am having a difficult time finding the gray.

Anyway, that was a lot about me when this thread is about you. I guess I’m just saying that maybe a mindset of riding this out (with support and therapy and anything else that helps you) and looking toward and imagining when things are better could help you through this difficult time. Knowing that you will not get stuck here in this moment, but with a little work and exercising all the things you’ve learned you can move forward to a more satisfying place in your life.

Maybe the highs and lows is something we all go thru with autism. Just hitting anxiety, depression all at the same time is a mother shut your mouth thing. Feeling in the moment, then accepting you feel down, then understanding it's okay to have these feelings, then if l need to, l cry. It's a process, no doubt as your post describes.

When you describe the catch22, l think carefully why l may feel anxious. So then l have a checkpoint in time that helps reflect, yes, this makes me anxious. But if you have no marker to remember this trigger, then you are back on the returning trigger and you will re-trigger. You really have to identify your triggers no matter how mundane it may seem or unimportant to you. I sit and actually reflect on my triggers. It has become less painful. Maybe it's trigger meditation. Lol

If you truly can't remember triggers, then you have to concentrate on calmness l guess. You bring up some interesting points that we all suffer from. Just a crashing vehicle with a load of emotions heading to a brick wall. So how we handle this maybe is the key? To accept those highs and lows and not be so exasperated by this. To accept our highs and lows as just our normal perhaps?

 

[Jordy]

I wish i could neet till the end of time. I understand your desires, i also love alcohol and video games.

 

[paloftoon]

A remote job worth considering if you like reading stuff aloud is Audible possibly. It looks like you can make a living with that and if you're attuned to reading aloud and don't have too much noise around you or have headphones and don't mind talking through and recording yourself. I think you could make enough not to not be on SSI checks anymore, but it can be tedious to do constantly if that isn't your thing. Just a thought!

 

[Metalhead]

Well, after six shifts of nonstop outreach calls and nobody mocking my speaking voice, I think I have this job down alright. My boss even went as far as to say she was now relying on me, her secretary, to make sure everybody else knew exactly what they had to do in the office. I never thought I was that important to them until now. Last week was depression talking, I admit that, and depression clouds judgment.