Should Probably Properly Introduce Myself

[Elena M.]

Hello, people out there, Elena here. So I discovered this site quite recently and decided to give it a try. For years now I've been trying to find some community, no matter how small, that I fit into. Maybe this will be the one. I've known I have Asperger's for quite awhile now, but never really paid attention to how much it affects my life and how it's probably the cause of a lot of things I experience.

For a long time, I feel like I've been focused on the wrong things that would always lead to dead ends when it came to moving forward in life. I realized that really dealing with my Asperger's is a probably good place to start. I haven't had a special interest in years (at least one that lasted), so I feel pretty unsatisfied without one. I just don't know how to get into stuff again. I don't know what I want to do career-wise, so that's been pretty frustrating. And sometimes even having the easy job that I do can feel exhausting, even if it does give me spending money (which I manage badly, mind you.)

With all these things buzzing around in my head for years, I think I've come to one conclusion: I want to know how to be the best version of myself. Alone, with friends, with my partner, at work, and wherever else in the world. I haven't made any significant progress so far, at least from what I can see, but now I'm taking more chances to figure it out.

I know that the beauty of the future is that it comes one day at a time and that being here is not a cure-all, but I do want to be here to learn. And maybe learning about other people like me will help me learn about myself. I eagerly await your responses

 

[Warmheart]

Greetings, Elena! Welcome.

 

[Nitro]

 

[tree]

 

[Keigan]

Learning about others, contributing to others - is absolutely the best west to learn about yourself.

Welcome,

 

[Crossbreed]

Welcome.
Have you ever taken any vocational aptitude tests anywhere? If so, did you take a position on its results (liked/interested/uninterested/hated them)? Usually, we like the things that we are good at. That's why we are good at them.

Another thing to look at: what kinds of hands-on* toys did/do you like to play with? Was there any particular features that appealed to you? Most of those kinds of toys are precursors to work skills and preferences.

For instance, I liked plain Legos growing up. Most forms of programming feel a lot like playing with virtual Legos. Database programming, in some ways, feels like playing Sudoku for a living. Doing CAD gives me a drawing fix, etc.

*Video games are less of an indicator, because they are just as much media as they are a plaything. I am not down on them. They just tend to lead the play more than hands-on toys do. The latter tends to follow your lead, building on your basic drives.

 

[SusanLR]

Hi and welcome.

And maybe learning about other people like me will help me learn about myself

That has helped me more than anything in getting to know myself. Very helpful.

 

[Jet Weiss]

Hi Elena, welcome!
Learning about other people has certainly helped me learn about myself as well, I think that is a great way to learn about oneself as well as others who are similar. I hope you find what you're looking for here!

 

[WittyAspie]

Welcome! It sounds like you already have the right mindset for growth. I hope we can help you along the journey.

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Elena M.]

Welcome.
Have you ever taken any vocational aptitude tests anywhere? If so, did you take a position on its results (liked/interested/uninterested/hated them)? Usually, we like the things that we are good at. That's why we are good at them.

Another thing to look at: what kinds of hands-on* toys did/do you like to play with? Was there any particular features that appealed to you? Most of those kinds of toys are precursors to work skills and preferences.

For instance, I liked plain Legos growing up. Most forms of programming feel a lot like playing with virtual Legos. Database programming, in some ways, feels like playing Sudoku for a living. Doing CAD gives me a drawing fix, etc.

*Video games are less of an indicator, because they are just as much media as they are a plaything. I am not down on them. They just tend to lead the play more than hands-on toys do. The latter tends to follow your lead, building on your basic drives.

I have taken career aptitude tests before, but none have really satisfactorily answered any questions that I have. I think the biggest issue I have is that I've spent so much time trying to look "normal" that I've become completely unaware of what I respond to, good or bad.

It's hard to know what I'm interested in right now because I'm just getting used to being in tune with my body after years of shutting that sensation out. So because of that, I don't really know what sensory triggers work best for me and what those sensory triggers could mean about what I'm interested in.

As for what I'm good at, it's hard for me to say. I think a big part of this problem is my self-esteem, which I hope to start building through learning about my Asperger's. People tell me I'm good at certain things, but it's hard for me to believe them. I feel like I should feel a certain way if I'm good at something. I have a certain expectation for how things should feel if I enjoy doing them, even though I couldn't tell you what that feeling is.

As for toys as indicators, I really liked to create things. I liked craft kits of any kind. I also liked reading a lot and writing, but I don't know what those hobbies mean for me now since I haven't had a special interest in quite a while. It's hard for me to know if those hobbies are a strong indicator of where I should go because it was so long ago, but maybe they do mean something and I just haven't found it yet.

 

[Crossbreed]

As for toys as indicators, I really liked to create things. I liked craft kits of any kind. I also liked reading a lot and writing, but I don't know what those hobbies mean for me now since I haven't had a special interest in quite a while.

One of my hobbies is the world's oldest profession, animal taxonomy...!

 

[Kisa the tea]