So I was just in a car wreck

[Lysander]

Thank you all for your comfort and good advice. I'm also partially distressed because I know it was my fault, and I massively screwed up. I don't ask for any sympathy, but my emotional state is rapidly disintegrating. I'm terrified, I have a concussion, I'm completely by myself, I'm ashamed of myself, I'm financially in deep trouble and it's all eating me alive.

My husband is unreachable because he's in combat training right now. So, not only does he not yet know, he will horrified when he finds out I wrecked his car that he loves and that insurance won't be covering it, or the damages to the other person. I fear for his reaction, yet I wish he was here so badly. I can't even text him.

But he made me promise over and over again that I would drive downtown to run these specific errands, full knowing what could happen. I don't know what to feel.

Sorry I'm a mess, but thank you all for your kindness. I just don't know who to talk to right now.. I feel like I'm losing my mind thinking about all of this by myself and knowing I can only blame myself. I don't want to say I'm suicidal, but I'm afraid it's a very good possibility

 

[Mary Terry]

Thank you all for your comfort and good advice. I'm also partially distressed because I know it was my fault, and I massively screwed up. I don't ask for any sympathy, but my emotional state is rapidly disintegrating. I'm terrified, I have a concussion, I'm completely by myself, I'm ashamed of myself, I'm financially in deep trouble and it's all eating me alive.

My husband is unreachable because he's in combat training right now. So, not only does he not yet know, he will horrified when he finds out I wrecked his car that he loves and that insurance won't be covering it, or the damages to the other person. I fear for his reaction, yet I wish he was here so badly. I can't even text him.

But he made me promise over and over again that I would drive downtown to run these specific errands, full knowing what could happen. I don't know what to feel.

Sorry I'm a mess, but thank you all for your kindness. I just don't know who to talk to right now.. I feel like I'm losing my mind thinking about all of this by myself and knowing I can only blame myself. I don't want to say I'm suicidal, but I'm afraid it's a very good possibility

Don't beat yourself up over this. Everyone makes mistakes and stuff happens. It just as easily could've been me at fault. I don't understand why your insurance company is denying the claim and recommend you find out why by getting something in writing from them. Good luck and hang in there. This, too, shall pass!

 

[TempeFan]

I understand what it is like to grow up alone with everyone shifting the blame to you and saying everything that happens is your fault. Please don't do that to yourself. It's unavoidable that everybody has a fender bender at some point in their life, some more serious than others. It's no excuse to give up. If you feel you are a bad driver, then take a defensive driving course and become a good driver. If you feel this is all your fault, then be honest with yourself because it's not. An accident is just that, an accident. Nobody intended for it to happen.

I know this 80 year old women with night blindness who is a really bad driver. She has totalled about 5 cars, that I know of, with her really bad habit of timidly entering intersections. She stops at the stop sign and looks both ways for a minute. Then she creeps out and stops just before the intersection and looks both ways for a minute. Then she inches out into the middle of the intersection and looks both ways for a minute. If there is another vehicle coming that can't stop in time, it smashes into the front of her car. It's obviously her fault but she gets off every time by lying and saying it's the fault of the other guy who hit her. The cops and courts couldn't care less what happened. They will assign fault to who ever it is easiest for them to pin it on. Your setting yourself up as a scapegoat by repeating "It's ALL my fault!" instead of telling the truth about what actually happened is making it easy for them to pile on as many charges as possible. Even if you made some small mistake that contributed to the accident, you didn't deserve to have had this happen to you. Give yourself a chance. Accept the help you need and deserve.

I didn't realize that your husband was away, but if he is military then there is probably a local support center for military families that you can go to for help in this crisis. You can also consult local attorneys for free to find out what the laws are in your state. For example, Colorado car insurance now operates as a tort system, meaning that fault must be established before an insurance company will pay a claim. Therefore they are not necessarily denying your coverage but more likely are just delaying coverage. Also, Medical Pay is Mandatory In Colorado On All Auto Insurance Policies After Jan. 2009, unless you opted out.

 

[Streetwise]

I so feel for you right now. I've never had a collision but I had an incident where I lost control after hitting a deliberately placed oil patch many years ago. It was a pathetically stupid Halloween trick set by some nasty kids who ended up in serious trouble (talk about being topical). I hit the kerb and my car lifted off the road, spun 180° and ended up stalled on the wrong side of the road. I managed to restart it and limp home with busted tires and a bent axle.
I'm still driving - it was a freak incident and I came out relatively unscathed. It wasn't my fault as was acknowledged by the police but the insurance wouldn't pay out.
I live in the worst part of the UK for nutters on the road now, but I have to drive. I'd have no life at all if I didn't. I know you've been unnerved but you have to consider what your life would be like if you didn't drive.
Don't let this setback mess your life up @Lysander

I think there must be a utterly selfish little brat virus ,that takes hold in certain areas of the world ,I was in a train crash near Lille in France where certain boys had put an iron bar on the track and killed the driver.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I hope you are okay!