Social scripts

[daniegirl6224]

What are your favorite general social scripts? I need to learn some because I am so lost in social settings. Also would like to hear any exit strategies you may have.

 

[tree]

Referring to the fact that in order to come visit again,
I'll have to leave, works for me. Similarly, on the phone,
saying that although I am ceasing the conversation now,
it means we'll be able to talk again, another time, works.

For some reason, people find this pleasantly amusing.
And my cousin has started saying it, too.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I think I burned my social scripts when I retired.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Do you have any specific examples where you would like to exchange scripts?

I don't really have or need scripts. From a young age on, I read excessively, a lot of children's and youth books about friendship and such, and I think I picked up a lot of dialogues and things on the way. So I don't consciously need scripts now. I just make them for situations where I feel uncomfortable and at a loss. Such as when I need to call someone I don't know, or when I had to talk about my doctoral thesis. I usually write them down then. I mostly need a script to get started, and then I'm alright with improvising.

I try to remain honest whenever possible, and try to care a bit less about what people think. So when I am with friends, I don't really use exit strategies but try to be honest and say that I'm tired now and want to leave. If I'm with someone who doesn't understand about social battery and boundaries, I say I still have things to do (see below).

I have perfected my exit strategies for phone calls, though. I find them extremely straining. As a teenager, when on the phone with a friend, I pretended that my mom had called for me so I had to hang up. Nowadays, I say I have something to do.

Having something to do is generally an alright exit strategy. You don't need to be specific. Just say "I have to go now, still need to get some things done today." If anyone asks - cleaning your apartment, going grocery shopping, calling a family member, doing paperwork, paying some bills. There are many "grown up" things you can bring up as reasons. I also said "I have to go cuddle my cat, she was alone all day". Most people don't really care why you have to leave. A standard response will be fine.

If I'm somewhere where an exit is harder (such as a family gathering or a work thing) and my battery is low to begin with, I give my ND friend a quick heads up. If I then send her a short message, she'll call me and I can go outside to "take the call". We don't have to actually talk then, but it gives me an excuse for a breather.