Blast off said:Told my family I was diagnosed with HFA and that was the last any of them have spoken to me.. I agree, it's on an extremely need to know basis only. Others are quite frankly morons and if they are going to judge you because of a word like autism I say fu(you know what) them.. this includes family and people who once called themselves your best friends.
I just don't get it... Are we aliens or something that our own families disown us or abandon us?
What do people sense about me (and apparently many others) that is so bad?
I'm not talkative, clingy, needy, asking for help... I'm just trying to understand this view that ASD people are so messed up, when as a matter of historical fact... Its many people like us who have given this world the quality of life it enjoys and trashes today.
My own mom abandoned me. She waited till I was about 10 and told me she wished I had died at birth (which I nearly did). So it hurts, that never leaves a person mind. I still love her unconditionally and she never loved or wanted me, she never contacts me and probably never will... I was a 10 year old kid, quiet (basically silent) I didn't throw fits, I didn't cause issues, I don't know why she just couldn't stand me? I have asked that question 10,000 times and I cant find what I did that was so wrong to make her just leave me, not even caring if she was throwing me to a den of wolves or not. I would have understood if I was violent, or a fit thrower, or scaring her... I wasn't. Yes, I flapped my stupid hands, and I pulled on my ears, and I made stupid noises a lot, but I grew out of that (or learned to hide all of it). I did start talking, I just don't like talking. I have no limitations, and I was a cute kid who grew up to be a good looking very normal guy (who had to hide to his real self to be accepted) and it still blows up in my face after all this time.
I don't think I can possibly understand how we are seen as so horrible, by people who do the most awful things imaginable.
I have just had to deal with this a lot because I was determined not to be like others who hate and hurt.
The sad part is it seems, I don't know what to do with all this stuff to keep it from crushing me from the inside out, but so far its all okay. Letting it out, and being there for others to let it out is how I make it through. Otherwise that dark thing called depression likes to come for a visit, and I just try and keep that door locked.
Thanks for the input... I agree with you... I just need to keep myself away form places I know things can easily go wrong. It was my fault basically, but that still don't make it any easier to understand how freaking mean some people can be.