I think I'm at the bottom of the mountain again, and
Turn that mountain upside down.
Mountains are the same as smiles,right?
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I think I'm at the bottom of the mountain again, and
20 year old Meghan couldn't have handled the career I'm now going into. 25 year old Meghan couldn't either, and also couldn't handle the career she already had. 30 year old Meghan,
Thank you. You're absolutely right about self-esteem. I am not sure if this will be the right thing to do, but I am considering my professional cooking experience as an Aspie as a fabulous story to author. My days as a line cook have passed, but the experience has launched me in many other directions!I can see that you understand what you are up against in the workplace, but I don't feel you are at the end of the line. Being a chef is a difficult job, and I have never known of a kitchen that wasn't a hotbed of bad attitudes and fits of anger. I don't like the fact that people are picking on you. This happens to most people on the spectrum. Kindness and a helpful demeanor suggest weakness in some settings. We're targets.
You must clearly understand your value as a chef and restaurant professional, so I hope you are maintaining your self-esteem. Your experience should get you a lot of interviews for jobs you might consider better suited to your skills and interests. It's possible that you are working with people who are grossly less professional than you are. That's not an enjoyable place for anyone who is serious about their job. I suggest finding a better establishment where there is cohesive cooperation and professionalism among the staff. It wouldn't hurt to try, and now, you know what you are looking for and what you know to avoid.
It is definitely a range where it sure looked like a lone mountain from the very bottom. Thank you, Meghan.The thing is, you never quite go back to the bottom of the mountain. Each thing you've done is useful, even if it went terribly, because each one of them helped you develop into the person who is going to be able to do the next thing. At least that has been my experience. 20 year old Meghan couldn't have handled the career I'm now going into. 25 year old Meghan couldn't either, and also couldn't handle the career she already had. 30 year old Meghan, however, is armed with all of their experience and a new diagnosis to help understand it all. As someone in the middle of hiking back up that mountain, all I can say is remember that you're a better hiker now than you were when you climbed it the last time. You're stronger and you know the terrain. You can do this.
(Picking the right mountain helps a lot, though. So does finding guides to point out the best way to the top.)
*here ends the overly metaphorical pep talk from a complete stranger