stopping tics/stims

[Kalinychta]

So if you get urge to rock and do something else instead, that just doesn't help? Whatever you do.

No, it definitely wouldn’t help. I’ve never had any other stims aside from rocking, and there’s no way to substitute or modify it.

I find only subtle changes to be possible. I switched from pulling on my fingers to pulling on a stretchy noodle, and I switched from biting my nails to chewing on my thumb. But changing to an entirely new thing would be more difficult.

Your modifications make sense to me, because you didn’t actually change the stims themselves at all; you just changed what you pluck at with your fingers or chew on with your mouth.

 

[Au Naturel]

This is such a strange idea to me, because I never chose my stim. It chose me. I’ve been rocking since I was an infant, and although I have “changed” it in terms of environment (e.g. I haven’t rocked on the couch or in the car since I was a kid), I would never be able to change the rocking itself into a different stim. I can only choose when and where I do it.

If you can choose when to rock and when not to rock, you have essentially lost that stim as far as social interactions are concerned.

 

[Kalinychta]

If you can choose when to rock and when not to rock, you have essentially lost that stim as far as social interactions are concerned.

Oh okay, so by “lose it” you meant stop doing it in public but keep doing it in private. That makes sense and seems ideal to me. I wonder if too much stimming is actually bad for you. And don’t we all choose to stim? We don’t choose the impulse, but we do choose when and where to give into it (except for people who have meltdowns or have to stim in order to avoid one).

 

[Nervous Rex]

Oh okay, so by “lose it” you meant stop doing it in public but keep doing it in private. That makes sense and seems ideal to me. I wonder if too much stimming is actually bad for you. And don’t we all choose to stim? We don’t choose the impulse, but we do choose when and where to give into it (except for people who have meltdowns or have to stim in order to avoid one).

I don't think we "choose" to stim. I am always fidgeting with something in my hands - a pen, keys, straw, receipt - whatever is within easy reach.

There have been times in meetings where I put whatever-I'm-fidgeting-with away and put my hands in my lap or fold my arms to be polite and attentive. Then, a few minutes later, I realize that I have something in my hand again and I'm fidgeting with it. Often, I would get embarrassed and put it back away ... and a few minutes later, it would happen again.

So, if we can be stimming without even knowing it, I don't think we "choose" it.

I've gotten pretty good at hiding my stims or redirecting them to something more socially acceptable, less distracting and less "weird", but I've never found a way to make the urge go away.

 

[Kalinychta]

I don't think we "choose" to stim. I am always fidgeting with something in my hands - a pen, keys, straw, receipt - whatever is within easy reach.

There have been times in meetings where I put whatever-I'm-fidgeting-with away and put my hands in my lap or fold my arms to be polite and attentive. Then, a few minutes later, I realize that I have something in my hand again and I'm fidgeting with it. Often, I would get embarrassed and put it back away ... and a few minutes later, it would happen again.

So, if we can be stimming without even knowing it, I don't think we "choose" it.

I've gotten pretty good at hiding my stims or redirecting them to something more socially acceptable, less distracting and less "weird", but I've never found a way to make the urge go away.

I bet it varies from person to person maybe. Probably most people with ASD1/Asperger’s have the ability to learn to completely stop stimming or to only stim in private, just like any other kind of behavior change, but it depends on how badly you want it, I suppose. I can’t imagine that the urge/impulse would ever go away, though—isn’t it the result of executive dysfunction? Maybe it depends on the severity of a person’s executive dysfunction or even the “type” of stimmer a person is e.g. a fidgeter, a body mover, etc.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I can’t imagine that the urge/impulse would ever go away, though—isn’t it the result of executive dysfunction?

I never considered a connection between stimming and executive function. That's an interesting idea. I wonder if there have been any studies on it?

I find that when I'm working on a difficult problem or something that requires me to really concentrate, my stimming comes out a lot more. Does that mean that stimming helps me with executive function? Very, very interesting.

 

[Kalinychta]

I never considered a connection between stimming and executive function. That's an interesting idea. I wonder if there have been any studies on it?

I find that when I'm working on a difficult problem or something that requires me to really concentrate, my stimming comes out a lot more. Does that mean that stimming helps me with executive function? Very, very interesting.

Yeah, I remember reading a while back that stimming is caused by executive dysfunction. I just found this article about it for you.

Relationship between executive functions and motor stereotypies in children with Autistic Disorder.

Relationship between executive functions and motor stereotypies in children with Autistic Disorder

“The executive dysfunction hypothesis, which states that the types of symptoms present in ASD are due to deficits in the executive control of behaviors, has been linked to the prevalence of RRBs seen in ASD (Hughes, Russell, & Robbins, 1994; Sayers, Oliver, Ruddick, & Wallis, 2011).”

*RRBs are restricted and repetitive behaviors

 

[NotBroken]

I hope it's okay for me to chime in.

I hid my stims for a long time by very precise masking. And at the times I felt I couldn't do so, I would excuse myself to somewhere dark and quiet like a bathroom Stall to regain composure.

I was raised to believe I had to be normal...by an abusive father who used the "ret***" word at me among many other ways of mentally abusing me. By schools with teachers who would rather punish than understand and help, who would point out my behavior to the class causing further bullying.

Couple this with society portraying us as slow or dangerous, with people so scared of autism they say horrible things like "I'd rather have an abortion if I knew my child would be autistic" etc.

With all of that you learn ways to just hide certain traits to survive...but today things are better honestly. Not great, mind, but good enough we can begin being ourselves with less masking.

About a year ago I let my coworkers know I was autistic. I let it come up in casual conversation. I haven't regretted it and they've made me feel more comfortable about stimmimg and if I don't make eye contact etc. They've been wonderful.

I hope you find a place you can be you at - remember there's nothing wrong with you. Different isn't a crime.