Storywriting

[robertwnielsen]

Me again. As you can guess from some of my other posts in this thread (and the other thread that you responded to), I write Fanfiction in...you guessed it...the Airwolf genre, over at Fanfiction.net. Here's a link to my personal page...robertwnielsen - FanFiction.Net


Have a look around, and if you see something you like, please don't hesitate to review.

Oops...hit the wrong message to quote...that was actually meant for Arashi222. :realmad:

 

[Arashi222]

Oops...hit the wrong message to quote...that was actually meant for Arashi222. :realmad:

I figured it out. Cool. I will have to go take a look at it. I need to find out more about this show. I wonder sometimes what it is about writing fanfiction that makes us sooo happy. I wish I had your confidence in writing.

 

[robertwnielsen]

I figured it out. Cool. I will have to go take a look at it. I need to find out more about this show. I wonder sometimes what it is about writing fanfiction that makes us sooo happy. I wish I had your confidence in writing.

Well, for me, it's about righting a wrong--I always thought that the characters of Hawke and Caitlin should have been "together" in the romantic sense...and I've got evidence to prove it:

In the season 3 opener, Hawke was kidnapped by a crazed billionaire who wanted Airwolf for himself. Caitlin and Dom met with Michael ("Archangel"), and at one point, Caitlin blurted out, "We gotta get the Lady!!" ("The Lady" was Hawke and Dom's nickname for Airwolf.) Dom said, "Not 'we,' ME! The instructions say, 'ME!'"

Then Caitlin says, "Dom...don't do that to me. I care about him, too, you know. Probably more than you know!" And she sure as hell didn't mean she cared about him like a brother!!

I actually got drawn to Fanfiction.net by accident--I was talking about this on the Internet Movie Database's Airwolf forum, and someone directed me to Fanfiction.net. At first, I hadn't planned on writing anything...until I stumbled across a story called "From Nightmares to Dreams," by an author with the pen name "Sirius7"...and all these questions started rolling around in my head. After getting permission from Sirius7 to base my first story off her work, I wrote and posted my first story, called, "What Now?" I figured I'd get a few comments, mostly saying, YOU SUCK, and that would be the end of my writing career. Well...that was 48 stories ago, and I haven't received any feedback quite that harsh. (Oh, there have been some negative comments, but mostly the feedback has been extremely positive and encouraging, and I've made quite a few wonderful friends...Sirius7 being the best.) The most flattering to me is when someone tells me that they think one of my stories would have made a good episode or sub-plot to an episode. Because of my PDD-NOS, I don't always agree with some of the feedback (Self-esteem has always been a huge issue with me)...in fact, Sirius7 and I have had some legendary discussion/arguments about that.

Anyway...please, feel free to have a look and review anything you read...either on the website (there's a little button at the bottom of every chapter/story that says "review"), or come back to this thread and drop me a note...if you comment here, though, please indicate which story/chapter you're commenting on. Just makes my life easier.

Looking forward to reading what you think!!

 

[Arashi222]

Well, for me, it's about righting a wrong--I always thought that the characters of Hawke and Caitlin should have been "together" in the romantic sense...and I've got evidence to prove it:

In the season 3 opener, Hawke was kidnapped by a crazed billionaire who wanted Airwolf for himself. Caitlin and Dom met with Michael ("Archangel"), and at one point, Caitlin blurted out, "We gotta get the Lady!!" ("The Lady" was Hawke and Dom's nickname for Airwolf.) Dom said, "Not 'we,' ME! The instructions say, 'ME!'"

Then Caitlin says, "Dom...don't do that to me. I care about him, too, you know. Probably more than you know!" And she sure as hell didn't mean she cared about him like a brother!!

I actually got drawn to Fanfiction.net by accident--I was talking about this on the Internet Movie Database's Airwolf forum, and someone directed me to Fanfiction.net. At first, I hadn't planned on writing anything...until I stumbled across a story called "From Nightmares to Dreams," by an author with the pen name "Sirius7"...and all these questions started rolling around in my head. After getting permission from Sirius7 to base my first story off her work, I wrote and posted my first story, called, "What Now?" I figured I'd get a few comments, mostly saying, YOU SUCK, and that would be the end of my writing career. Well...that was 48 stories ago, and I haven't received any feedback quite that harsh. (Oh, there have been some negative comments, but mostly the feedback has been extremely positive and encouraging, and I've made quite a few wonderful friends...Sirius7 being the best.) The most flattering to me is when someone tells me that they think one of my stories would have made a good episode or sub-plot to an episode. Because of my PDD-NOS, I don't always agree with some of the feedback (Self-esteem has always been a huge issue with me)...in fact, Sirius7 and I have had some legendary discussion/arguments about that.

Anyway...please, feel free to have a look and review anything you read...either on the website (there's a little button at the bottom of every chapter/story that says "review"), or come back to this thread and drop me a note...if you comment here, though, please indicate which story/chapter you're commenting on. Just makes my life easier.

Looking forward to reading what you think!!

Cool. I will defiantely check it out. I need to figure out more about this show. So I have background. Very very nice. I have Asperger's so I get what you mean about the whole not having good self-esteem. I used to write Criminal Mind fanfics all the time. But everyone always said they were too sad so like i said I don't let people read mine anymore. But I am excited to take a look at yours. DOn't worry I will make sure I take note of what I read and what I think. I'm sure they are good though.

 

[robertwnielsen]

Cool. I will defiantely check it out. I need to figure out more about this show. So I have background. Very very nice. I have Asperger's so I get what you mean about the whole not having good self-esteem. I used to write Criminal Mind fanfics all the time. But everyone always said they were too sad so like i said I don't let people read mine anymore. But I am excited to take a look at yours. DOn't worry I will make sure I take note of what I read and what I think. I'm sure they are good though.

Well, I can probably tell you anything you need to know about Airwolf--like I said, I was obsessed with the show for three years...don't count the fourth and final season, though, after a new production company unceremoniously fired the entire original cast, and the characters of Caitlin and Michael ("Archangel") disappeared without even so much as a mention. (GRR) ;(

 

[Arashi222]

Well, I can probably tell you anything you need to know about Airwolf--like I said, I was obsessed with the show for three years...don't count the fourth and final season, though, after a new production company unceremoniously fired the entire original cast, and the characters of Caitlin and Michael ("Archangel") disappeared without even so much as a mention. (GRR) ;(

Do you know where I can watch it for free online? I would love to see what its all about. Or you could give me a brief synopsis of the show. I completely understand about stupid other companies taking over other companies and getting rid of original casts (oh my poor Saiyuki anime sniffles). Heh I just noticed your from Iowa. I'm from MN teehee we are neighbors. Do you write other things besides Fanfiction like do?? I am just curious tell me if I'm bugging you. :cute:

 

[robertwnielsen]

Well, you can probably catch it at Hulu (Watch TV. Watch Movies. | Online | Free | Hulu), but I can give you a "brief" (in quotes because it's probably going to be *very* wordy) synopsis--

Stringfellow Hawke (portrayed by Jan-Michael Vincent) is a reclusive, sensitive Vietnam War veteran, who lives alone in the cabin where he and his brother Saint John were raised by their parents, until they were killed in a freak boating accident on the lake near the cabin. String and Saint John were raised by their father's best friend, Dominic Santini (played by Ernest Borgnine.) When the show begins, Airwolf (a helicopter capable of supersonic speed and armored to near-invulnerability) has been stolen by its creator, Charles Henry Moffet, from a weapons demonstration. "Archangel," (played by Alex Cord) is the deputy director of the FIRM, the agency that built Airwolf, and suffers injuries in the attack--his leg is badly injured, and he loses his left eye. Archangel realizes that he needs to recruit Hawke to recover Airwolf, since Hawke had been the test pilot.


Hawke falls in love with Gabrielle, a pilot with the FIRM who had flown Archangel to the cabin to inform Hawke of Moffet's theft of Airwolf. Gabrielle is eventually sent to Libya when the FIRM's operative is murdered by Moffet, who eventually captures, tortures, and murders Gabrielle. Hawke then tracks Moffet down and kills him, but is sent even further into depression--Hawke believes that anyone he loves, or might love, will die. He lost his parents in the aforementioned boating accident, his girlfriend Kelly is killed in a car accident, his brother Saint John is MIA from Vietnam and presumed dead, and then Gabrielle is murdered at the hands of Moffet.)


The character of Caitlin (portrayed by Jean Bruce Scott) is first encountered in the Season Two premiere, "Sweet Britches," (a derogatory nickname slapped on Caitlin by the sheriff of the small town where she lived in Texas), and Hawke rescues her from the sheriff. She reappears in "The Truth About Holly," having followed Hawke to California after seeing Airwolf in action. She becomes a part of the Airwolf crew in the Season Two episode "Fallen Angel," when Hawke and Dom are injured doing a flying stunt, and Archangel is captured in East Germany.

By the end of Season 2, it's becoming apparent that Caitlin is interested in Hawke as more than just a friend, but the "curse" that Hawke feels like he has prevents him from acting on any feelings he might have for her. In fact, as I think I said earlier, in the premiere episode of Season 3, this exchange occurs--


Caitlin - We gotta get the Lady!! ("The Lady" is the codename for Airwolf, usually used by Hawke, Dom, or Cait.)

Dom -- Not 'we,' me! The instructions say 'me!!'

Caitlin - Dom. Don't do that to me. I care about him, too, you know. Probably more than you know. (And I don't think she meant as just a friend!!)


Whereabouts in MN are you from?? I live in Urbandale (Suburb of Des Moines)--was actually born in Massachusetts, but moved to Iowa when I was three.

I write mostly fan fiction, but I'm trying (trying being the operative word here) to write an historical fiction novel, called Armageddon's Clock--based during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 (military history being one of my obsessions), except...things don't go as well for the world as they did in reality. We'll see if it goes anywhere.


As to bugging me, nah, you're not. If you were, I'd let you know. Trust me.

 

[Arashi222]

Well, you can probably catch it at Hulu (Watch TV. Watch Movies. | Online | Free | Hulu), but I can give you a "brief" (in quotes because it's probably going to be *very* wordy) synopsis--

Stringfellow Hawke (portrayed by Jan-Michael Vincent) is a reclusive, sensitive Vietnam War veteran, who lives alone in the cabin where he and his brother Saint John were raised by their parents, until they were killed in a freak boating accident on the lake near the cabin. String and Saint John were raised by their father's best friend, Dominic Santini (played by Ernest Borgnine.) When the show begins, Airwolf (a helicopter capable of supersonic speed and armored to near-invulnerability) has been stolen by its creator, Charles Henry Moffet, from a weapons demonstration. "Archangel," (played by Alex Cord) is the deputy director of the FIRM, the agency that built Airwolf, and suffers injuries in the attack--his leg is badly injured, and he loses his left eye. Archangel realizes that he needs to recruit Hawke to recover Airwolf, since Hawke had been the test pilot.


Hawke falls in love with Gabrielle, a pilot with the FIRM who had flown Archangel to the cabin to inform Hawke of Moffet's theft of Airwolf. Gabrielle is eventually sent to Libya when the FIRM's operative is murdered by Moffet, who eventually captures, tortures, and murders Gabrielle. Hawke then tracks Moffet down and kills him, but is sent even further into depression--Hawke believes that anyone he loves, or might love, will die. He lost his parents in the aforementioned boating accident, his girlfriend Kelly is killed in a car accident, his brother Saint John is MIA from Vietnam and presumed dead, and then Gabrielle is murdered at the hands of Moffet.)


The character of Caitlin (portrayed by Jean Bruce Scott) is first encountered in the Season Two premiere, "Sweet Britches," (a derogatory nickname slapped on Caitlin by the sheriff of the small town where she lived in Texas), and Hawke rescues her from the sheriff. She reappears in "The Truth About Holly," having followed Hawke to California after seeing Airwolf in action. She becomes a part of the Airwolf crew in the Season Two episode "Fallen Angel," when Hawke and Dom are injured doing a flying stunt, and Archangel is captured in East Germany.

By the end of Season 2, it's becoming apparent that Caitlin is interested in Hawke as more than just a friend, but the "curse" that Hawke feels like he has prevents him from acting on any feelings he might have for her. In fact, as I think I said earlier, in the premiere episode of Season 3, this exchange occurs--


Caitlin - We gotta get the Lady!! ("The Lady" is the codename for Airwolf, usually used by Hawke, Dom, or Cait.)

Dom -- Not 'we,' me! The instructions say 'me!!'

Caitlin - Dom. Don't do that to me. I care about him, too, you know. Probably more than you know. (And I don't think she meant as just a friend!!)


Whereabouts in MN are you from?? I live in Urbandale (Suburb of Des Moines)--was actually born in Massachusetts, but moved to Iowa when I was three.

I write mostly fan fiction, but I'm trying (trying being the operative word here) to write an historical fiction novel, called Armageddon's Clock--based during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 (military history being one of my obsessions), except...things don't go as well for the world as they did in reality. We'll see if it goes anywhere.


As to bugging me, nah, you're not. If you were, I'd let you know. Trust me.

Ok I will have to take a look at this show it seems really interesting. Um I am from the Twin Cities area. I've been to Des Moines IA to see RENT once. I love writing fanfiction too mostly of shows such as Stargate, Criminal Minds, I started one on Andromeda (but I don't like it so I'll have to start over), RENT. I can tell you anything and everything is to know about the musical RENT, its one of my obsessions like yours with Airwolf. I think trying to write a story of your own takes a lot of courage to do. I think it can be hard. I bookmarked your fanfiction so that I could read them at my own pace. I am looking forward to reading them.

Ok well you let me know if I do bug you. :cute:

 

[robertwnielsen]

Ok I will have to take a look at this show it seems really interesting. Um I am from the Twin Cities area. I've been to Des Moines IA to see RENT once. I love writing fanfiction too mostly of shows such as Stargate, Criminal Minds, I started one on Andromeda (but I don't like it so I'll have to start over), RENT. I can tell you anything and everything is to know about the musical RENT, its one of my obsessions like yours with Airwolf. I think trying to write a story of your own takes a lot of courage to do. I think it can be hard. I bookmarked your fanfiction so that I could read them at my own pace. I am looking forward to reading them.

Ok well you let me know if I do bug you. :cute:

I've been in Minnesota a few times...every one to the Mall of America. First with my college choir, then with my girlfriend, then, after I made my girlfriend my wife, she and I went back there for our honeymoon.

I've heard of the musical RENT, but never seen it...I have, however, seen the musical and movie versions of The Music Man. (Both movies--the original w/Robert Preston, Shirley Jones, etc., then the lame remake w/Matthew Broderick.) Don't get me wrong--Broderick's probably a better singer than Preston was, but he was just too stiff, for lack of a better word. Preston, in my not-so-humble opinion, was born to play Professor Harold Hill.

re: Stories--well, take your time, and by all means, let me know what you think. And as to bugging me, like I said before, if I feel like you are bugging me, I won't hesitate to let you know about it.

 

[Arashi222]

I've been in Minnesota a few times...every one to the Mall of America. First with my college choir, then with my girlfriend, then, after I made my girlfriend my wife, she and I went back there for our honeymoon.

I've heard of the musical RENT, but never seen it...I have, however, seen the musical and movie versions of The Music Man. (Both movies--the original w/Robert Preston, Shirley Jones, etc., then the lame remake w/Matthew Broderick.) Don't get me wrong--Broderick's probably a better singer than Preston was, but he was just too stiff, for lack of a better word. Preston, in my not-so-humble opinion, was born to play Professor Harold Hill.

re: Stories--well, take your time, and by all means, let me know what you think. And as to bugging me, like I said before, if I feel like you are bugging me, I won't hesitate to let you know about it.

Ok well I don't live that far from the Mall of America actually. I'm pretty close to there. I go there all the time. You guys came to MN for your honeymoon? That is sooo sweet. Makes me believe that someday there will be someone out there for me to.

As to Musicals I like them all but I am obsessed with two (RENT & American Idiot). You can actually RENT the Broadway production on DVD now I have both copies the Cinema version and the Broadway version. I have 6 fanfictions based on the musical RENT. As to the Musican Man I totally agree with you. Yes Preston probably doesn't have as good of a voice but his body langauge toward the music seems to match better.

Back to the stories. I will let you know for sure. I wish I was more confident in my writing abilites to share. I've just been ridiculed too or told my stories are too sad because I don't shy away from things. Real life can be sad, it can be happy, it is a lot of things right? Good.

Oh I sent you a friend request I hope that's ok?:cute:

 

[robertwnielsen]

Ok well I don't live that far from the Mall of America actually. I'm pretty close to there. I go there all the time. You guys came to MN for your honeymoon? That is sooo sweet. Makes me believe that someday there will be someone out there for me to.

As to Musicals I like them all but I am obsessed with two (RENT & American Idiot). You can actually RENT the Broadway production on DVD now I have both copies the Cinema version and the Broadway version. I have 6 fanfictions based on the musical RENT. As to the Musican Man I totally agree with you. Yes Preston probably doesn't have as good of a voice but his body langauge toward the music seems to match better.

Back to the stories. I will let you know for sure. I wish I was more confident in my writing abilites to share. I've just been ridiculed too or told my stories are too sad because I don't shy away from things. Real life can be sad, it can be happy, it is a lot of things right? Good.

Oh I sent you a friend request I hope that's ok?:cute:

Yeah, we went up to MoM (Mall of America) and spent a few days up in Minnesota for our honeymoon. I think there's someone out there for everybody...you just have to find them...and sometimes that can be hard.

I am obsessed with Music Man (the original.) The remake wasn't *bad,* per se, but like I said before, Broderick just didn't have the body language down the way Preston did.

As to the stories--no hurry or pressure. It's funny you say "I've just been ridiculed too or told my stories are too sad.."--because I worried that I would get too sappily romantic in mine...but real life can be that way, too.

Think I approved the friend request...it was fine.

 

[Arashi222]

Yeah, we went up to MoM (Mall of America) and spent a few days up in Minnesota for our honeymoon. I think there's someone out there for everybody...you just have to find them...and sometimes that can be hard.

I am obsessed with Music Man (the original.) The remake wasn't *bad,* per se, but like I said before, Broderick just didn't have the body language down the way Preston did.

As to the stories--no hurry or pressure. It's funny you say "I've just been ridiculed too or told my stories are too sad.."--because I worried that I would get too sappily romantic in mine...but real life can be that way, too.

Think I approved the friend request...it was fine.

There may be..all well I am not really looking anyway.

As to the Music Man muscial I agree with you. I think that I prefer the original.

Yah I don't share my stuff because I have been told that I'm too sad, that they are too graphic and often not happy enough though I do have happiness in there somewhere and love usually, but yah I have ridiculed too the point of fear in showing off my work. My ex-friend told me I was too squicky for her taste and that I should stop writing because there was something wrong with me. (sigh...its fine she can't make me do anything) I am glad you feel so able to write so freely.

 

[Kelly]

I've been working on a series of books for a while now, I've written the first 2 books and have the basic plot for the third one written out. The first book is being proofread at the moment and then it will be off to the publisher's, I need to get the motivation to finish typing up the second one ready for proofreading. Here's a small snippet from the first book (this is unedited so excuse any spelling/grammatical mistakes);

Spoiler

Mr McKenzie glared at me as I walked in no more then 30 seconds late, he glanced at his register and then spitefully said "Miss Connors, so nice of you to join us, I'm sorry if my history class interferes with your oh so important life but I haven't the time to wait for our schedules to magically collide, sit down!" I heard a few sniggers as I turned to look for a seat, nowhere was free, every desk was occupied, Mr Mckenzie sighed, rolled his eyes and grabbed a chair from a stack piled behind the door and thrust it at me. I half smiled and thanked him, then looked for a place to put my chair and myself, that's when I saw a girl at the back with jet black hair, almost identical to mine but it was layered and she had startlingly blue eyes. She was glaring at me like I was the most disgusting thing in the world, I'd been a tiny bit late, I could understand McKenzie being annoyed with me but what was her problem? maybe she really loved history and I'd held up her favourite class. My train of thought was interrupted by a giggle followed by "Hey Lydia, why don't you sit with us?" I was just about to smile and say thanks when I realised it was Mandy Chapman who'd invited me, what should I do? Rachel's warning ran through my head over and over, but half the class was now glaring at me so I signed my fate and sat down, thanking the two of them as I did. I glanced over my shoulder and the dark haired girl was still staring at me like she wanted to kill me, sheesh history geek or what! Mandy and Claire gave me the 3rd degree about my life, where I was from, my folks, my favourite bands, was I dating. They seemed genuinely interested but I was still careful not to tell them anything they could use against me. When they asked about my dad I just shrugged and said he did something with computers, like it was too complicated to understand, they didn't need to know he was just some sort of salesman or engineer or something, as I thought about it more I realised I didn't actually know what it was he did, only that he was out all day and never spoke about what he did or collegues or anything, other then to say he was being re-assigned elsewhere. I told them mom was a housewife, she kept our home immaculate and she was an amazing cook! The Chapmans semmed slightly disgusted when I said the word housewife, they obviously thought that wasn't a worthwhile 'job' so to stop them using that against me I went into more detail making out my mom was a kept lady, that she could work if she wanted to but she didn't need to and she much prefferred shopping to doing anything else. That satiated them, apparently our moms were similar, their mom Patricia or 'Trixi' as she liked to be called was head of the PTA, on the towns board of directors and helped organise charity fundraisers as her way of giving back, their father was not only the town mayor but he owned a chain of department stores and I soon came to the conclusion that they were very much pampered princesses. The ring of the bell startled me, I'd managed to go through an entire history class without arguing with the teacher, he hadn't even noticed me other then my grand entrance, he asked everybody else questions but didn't so much as glance at our table, I couldn't help but wonder if he was cutting me some slack after realisng how harsh he'd been or if it was because of the Chapmans and their supposed status in the town which they bragged about constantly. I gathered my things and checked my timetable it was english literature next, that'd be a breeze, I'd always enjoyed literature so studying it was something I relished. The twins had maths next so they wandered off the opposite way to me, I figured I would just have enough time to dump my history and chem books in my locker on the way to class. I'd just thrown my books in when a hand slammed my locker shut, I turned to see who'd done it, expecting Mandy or Claire or even Rachel, to my surprise it was the dark haired girl from history class, she looked furious
"What are you? and why are you here?" she spat at me, her eyes darting left and right ensuring nobody was watching, there were only a handful of kids in the hall now, all of them far from earshot, looking at her confused I answered
"uhm..a senior like you? and I'm here because it's a school day?" what else could I say, her questions made no sense.
"Oh your just hilarious aren't you!" she said venoumously before slamming me against my locker. Now I got it this was how the chapmans worked, they didn't deal out the bad stuff themselves so you couldn't openly accuse them, their pitbull moved inches from my face
"WHAT ARE YOU?!...." she drew out every word, her voice filled with hatred "....Sorveg? or Vita?" she whispered between gritted teeth so quietly I barely heard her. What was wrong with her?! first she was annoyed with me for holding up her history class and now she's close to beating me up over what I could only assume were Sororotiy's or something, but I was sure you only got those in college or university, maybe Chesterfield was different and they had some weird traditions or something so I shrugged and said "I haven't joined any clubs yet and if this is how you recruit then I'm definitely not interested thanks". She started to growl at me like some sort of wild beast, it unnerved me but at the same time something within me reacted and I was just as ready to fight her as she was me and then I noticed her eyes. In history they were a deep blue, I was sure they were, maybe I was wrong because right now her eyes were pale blue, they seemed to be getting paler as she growled more
"Laura Francis! don't you have a class to go to?!" It was Principal Jenkins' voice, I turned to look and sure enough she was standing further down the hall from us, her hands on her hips, her long brown hair that she'd had laying loose was now scraped back in a bun and with her grey polyester suit she looked more menacing then earlier, even her expression gave off a don't mess with me or you'll be sorry look, I cowered slightly as she spoke directly to me "You too Lydia! Skipping class on your first day?!" I looked at her apologetically and nodded my head as I turned back to face the girl I now knew as Laura I almost yelped as I saw that her eyes were now deep blue again. I was sure I was getting ill, that had been the second incident that day, maybe my eyes needed testing perhaps I was getting some sort of weird colour blindness or something, was that even possible? As if reading my mind Principal Jenkins who seemed to have gone from 12ft away to right next to me in the blink of an eye put her hand to my head and asked if I felt alright as I was burning up and looked very pale. I told her I was fine, a little flustered but okay, I knew I wasn't I was seeing things for goodness sake I wanted to check Laura's eyes again but to my astonishment she was gone, I looked down the length of the halls but there was no sign of her, either she'd gone into one of the nearby rooms or that girl could run!. I turned to head towards english class but the principal grabbed my wrist and yanked me back "I dont' think your in any shape to go to class Miss Connors, I think you should see the nurse" she said gently as she put her hands on my shoulders and steered me the way she'd come from.

 

[Kelly]

I'm not sure I like that snippet I posted at all, I think I'm going to re-write that, it's too rushed. Here's the first part of book 2 (book 1 ends on a major cliffhanger, in which you don't know if a few characters are alive or dead, who's an enemy who's a friend etc)

Spoiler

I gasped as the scenary whizzed by in a blur, I clung to my captor or was he my savior? Either way I held on for dear life as we weaved in between obstacles that I wasn't aware of until they were right in front of us. He held me close, his arms tight around me but was it to prevent me from slipping and possibly hurting myself or to prevent me from escaping, I couldn't be sure. I had no idea how far or how fast he ran but he didn't let up until the sun was starting to set and we appeared to be on the outskirts of a city, but not *city name*, this was much much bigger. I shivered as the cold air whipped against me, he squeezed me just a little closer to him as he whispered "I'm sorry for the cold, I carelessly didn't think about your aversion to low temperatures, we're almost there though I promise." He sounded so non threatening, almost concerned, hardly the whisperings of an evil being, a sadistic bloodthirsty creature who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted, his tone had been so gentle, so caring. I tried to shrink into my coat as much as possible but it didn't help warm me up, I couldn't rely on him to warm me as his body temperature was much lower then a humans, if anything he was making the journey even harsher. His pace slowed as we entered a busy district of the unfamiliar city, he set me down on my feet before wrapping an arm tightly around my shoulders and gripping my right arm tight enough so that I couldn't pull free. I looked desperately at the faces around me, hoping my terrified expression would alert somebody to my plight but as with any large city, most people kept their heads down as they strived to get to their destinations, the few that did glance my way seemed to frown before averting their eyes. I should have screamed out for help but how would I explain the situation, nobody would believe the truth and no doubt at the first screech he would swoop me up and run at top speed to get me away from any do-gooders paying attention. "We're almost there now, just around the corner" he said as he half led, half dragged me around another block, I was doing my best to make things difficult for him. At one point I'd grabbed a railing but he uncurled my fingers from the metal post as easy as pie and asked me or perhaps warned me not to try something like that again, I still wasn't sure if he intended to harm me or not, I could only hope he wouldn't. I scanned the crowd one last time as we reached a building that he informed me was our destination, a young couple looked directly at me and I managed to mouth 'help me' to them but they just looked away and whispered to each other before hurrying off in a different direction, my hope plummeted as he led me through the elaborate revolving doors of what appeared to be an apartment complex.

*I haven't decided on the city name yet, I have a few in mind but I'm being picky about exact distances between the main town it's set in and how fast someone could travel in a car (or by running at super human speed) to get to neighbouring towns and...well it's complicated.

 

[robertwnielsen]

There may be..all well I am not really looking anyway.

As to the Music Man muscial I agree with you. I think that I prefer the original.

Yah I don't share my stuff because I have been told that I'm too sad, that they are too graphic and often not happy enough though I do have happiness in there somewhere and love usually, but yah I have ridiculed too the point of fear in showing off my work. My ex-friend told me I was too squicky for her taste and that I should stop writing because there was something wrong with me. (sigh...its fine she can't make me do anything) I am glad you feel so able to write so freely.

Well, like I said before, I was extremely anxious about posting my first story...actually, make that paranoid about posting my first story. I did not think anyone would like it, and that whatever feedback I would get would be limited to "YOU SUCK," or some derivative thereof. But, I've actually had people tell me that my stories would have made good sub-plots (and even entire episodes, in a few cases), which really makes me feel good.

 

[Arashi222]

Well, like I said before, I was extremely anxious about posting my first story...actually, make that paranoid about posting my first story. I did not think anyone would like it, and that whatever feedback I would get would be limited to "YOU SUCK," or some derivative thereof. But, I've actually had people tell me that my stories would have made good sub-plots (and even entire episodes, in a few cases), which really makes me feel good.

I am really glad that you have found a niche though. I am glad that you've mastered your fear of it shall we say and moved through it. I guess I just wish I could do that. I've been so hurt over what others have said that I just cling to the stories in my head and don't let anyone near it. Writing anything now???

 

[robertwnielsen]

I am really glad that you have found a niche though. I am glad that you've mastered your fear of it shall we say and moved through it. I guess I just wish I could do that. I've been so hurt over what others have said that I just cling to the stories in my head and don't let anyone near it. Writing anything now???

Not at the moment (other than updates to older stories), but have a few ideas kicking around in my head. (Whether they actually see the light of my computer screen or not is another story entirely.) One of the ideas I'm debating is an addendum/second chapter to "Operation: To Fool A Hawke," to (at least try) to explain why the story unfolded the way it did. (Trying to keep details out, since I'm guessing you probably haven't read it.)

 

[robertwnielsen]

I am really glad that you have found a niche though. I am glad that you've mastered your fear of it shall we say and moved through it. I guess I just wish I could do that. I've been so hurt over what others have said that I just cling to the stories in my head and don't let anyone near it. Writing anything now???

Now to address the other part of your post--yeah, it wasn't easy getting over the fear--oh, the nights I've lost sleep worried about how people would react to this story, or that chapter, or whatever the case may be. And, I'm pretty sure I've said it before, but I worried for days before I wrote "What Now?" that nobody would actually like my stories...that what feedback I might get would be on the order of YOU SUCK, and that would be that. Glad I've been wrong.

 

[Arashi222]

Not at the moment (other than updates to older stories), but have a few ideas kicking around in my head. (Whether they actually see the light of my computer screen or not is another story entirely.) One of the ideas I'm debating is an addendum/second chapter to "Operation: To Fool A Hawke," to (at least try) to explain why the story unfolded the way it did. (Trying to keep details out, since I'm guessing you probably haven't read it.)

Not yet i have not read it but I am not reading much really right now as I need to get my new glasses first. The ones I'm wearing right now are two glasses ago and giving me migraines. But as soon as I get my new pair you can count on me to get busy reading. I look forward to it. I like it when people do that I read stuff on Fanfiction.net all the time. Sometimes I get ideas or thoughts for my own stories from there so many good stories.

 

[robertwnielsen]

Not yet i have not read it but I am not reading much really right now as I need to get my new glasses first. The ones I'm wearing right now are two glasses ago and giving me migraines. But as soon as I get my new pair you can count on me to get busy reading. I look forward to it. I like it when people do that I read stuff on Fanfiction.net all the time. Sometimes I get ideas or thoughts for my own stories from there so many good stories.

No hurries...I can understand having headaches/migraines from bad or old glasses--I get them, too. Whenever you get to them is cool, just please, let me know what you think--you don't *have* to sign up for the site (anonymous reviews are allowed, at least, by me)--but if you don't register, and review something there, please let me know it was you!! (So I know who to thank.)