Tackling bullying could help reduce depression in autistic teens

[pax]

Can I join the secret Ls society? It sounds like fun.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Can I join the secret Ls society? It sounds like fun.

.only the worthy pass.the test

 

[tree]

Please direct any further posts in this thread toward the
actual thread topic, which is:


"Teenagers with difficulties in social communication,
including autism have higher rates of depressive symptoms,
especially if they are being bullied."

 

[Tesseract]

The only - only - way to stop being bullied in school is to stand up to the bully. Smash his face in, break his nose, kick him in the... area between his legs, and generally make HIS life a misery! Bullies are, deep down, insecure cowards, and usually one doesn't even have to go as far as resorting to violence, but if that is what it takes then that is what must be done. Teachers, even in this "enlightened" day and age, are utterly useless. When I was in school they were probably even worse, for they did absolutely nothing about any of it! They would often not even want to know!

 

[Aspie_With_Attitude]

There's many variations on what bullying is. Since it's on the subject about school bullying, it has been a terrible experience being bullied for the hellsake of me being an Aspie.

I am more happier that I am not alone, I hear it's still happening today. Even the way the internet works, there's also cyber bullying.

Weeding out any forms of bullying isn't an easy mission. The best ways to go is to work around my life experience when I had been bullied and spread awareness "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!"

Starting before 2020, we need to raise awareness and this must stop! Not just for the Aspies, it's absolutely everybody. Bullying belongs in the corrective service system, not at schools or at work.

 

[WildCat]

If people want to tackle bullying re: those on the spectrum, stop with talking about it and start with equipping the students with the tools and knowledge they need to defend against it. I know many will resort to the "fight fire with fire" approach which leaves a sour taste in many a person's mouth (as if that's implying that we should just totally decimate each other when it happens, which is not what I'm saying here ); if that's the case, then so be it. Whatever it takes, but yapping about it ≠ solving the problem.

Bullying isn't going anywhere anytime soon, it's a trait inherent to the human race that's spanned the course of a lifetime, and all this wishful thinking from people gathering together and pretending to care about the issue for brownie points is getting pretty ridiculous. To said persons: shut up, reach out to these people if you DO give a splinter of a crap and go from there.

 

[HidinginPlainSight]

The only - only - way to stop being bullied in school is to stand up to the bully. Smash his face in, break his nose, kick him in the... area between his legs, and generally make HIS life a misery! Bullies are, deep down, insecure cowards, and usually one doesn't even have to go as far as resorting to violence, but if that is what it takes then that is what must be done. Teachers, even in this "enlightened" day and age, are utterly useless. When I was in school they were probably even worse, for they did absolutely nothing about any of it! They would often not even want to know!

If it were only that simple. As with most anything else, it really isn't that simple. Bullying doesn't start as a direct physical attack. There is a systematic psychological disarmament which proceeds any physical intimidation. This usually starts by a group of kids finding one particular source of sensitivity in the target and attacking it to the point of mental torture. This is done by the group of kids that the target in question wishes to be a part of and they are brutally rejecting (in this case) him.

The target starts to ask what is wrong with himself and is given plenty of answers from the group. The target begins to believe it and, as it was already a source of sensitivity, this isn't a hard stage to get to. At that point, the kid doesn't have the ability to just fight back and smash their face(s) as the cliche goes. Instead, they get to feel awful about themselves and completely dis-empowered. At this point they are ripe for some physical torture, which is usually perpetrated by a few of the less adjusted of the crowd.

The is no cinematic moment here, that's not what happens in real life. The truth of the matter is that the target has been excluded by the people that he wants to fit in with and has psychologically accepted this term of reality.

Without getting too long winded, I will point out that his scenario applies to the lowest rung on the social hierarchy. The other rungs will bully each other too and attempt to subject others too this rung and sometimes succeeding. In almost every case though, a heroic physical response has been disabled long before the climax of the film has a chance to happen.

 

[dragonwolf]

The only - only - way to stop being bullied in school is to stand up to the bully. Smash his face in, break his nose, kick him in the... area between his legs, and generally make HIS life a misery! Bullies are, deep down, insecure cowards, and usually one doesn't even have to go as far as resorting to violence, but if that is what it takes then that is what must be done. Teachers, even in this "enlightened" day and age, are utterly useless. When I was in school they were probably even worse, for they did absolutely nothing about any of it! They would often not even want to know!

That's a very, very good way to get yourself suspended, or worse.

One of the tactics of bullies is gaslighting and doing things such that the teachers only see your response.

Add on zero-brained "zero tolerance" rules that force staff to punish all involved parties, even the ones on the defensive, and "smashing their face in" does nothing but backfire.

Case in point: when I was in sixth grade, a girl and her posse cornered me on the playground (this was after she had threatened me earlier in the day). I was surrounded. So, I bolted, pushing one of them out of the way in the process. I managed to make it about 3/4 of the way to the teacher when she caught up with me and tried to push me. When the teacher came over, the girl made it out like I had maliciously pushed her after they "had just come over to talk" or some such garbage.

The end result? We both had to sit in the hall for recess (across from each other), during which, there was a parade of kids who came in to give my attacker high fives and other congratulations.

 

[WereBear]

Bullying used to be ignored. (Read It by Stephen King for how rampant and common.) I was told "just ignore them" which was also useless. Just raising awareness of the costs is a start.

Let's study it! Get a plan! Implement it! Are we not wonderfully equipped for this task in all conceivable ways?

 

[Ylva]

focusing on the role of traumatic experiences such as bullying and interventions targeting these, could be important and may have the potential to make a real difference to the wellbeing of autistic people."

How insightful.

 

[tree]

How insightful.

It's true that summarized conclusions
can appear to be very bland and self-evident.

Which leads people to question why any
inquiry, investigation, or study was necessary
when the results indicate what seems to be
merely common sense.

 

[Aaron Agassi]

I respectfully suggest that the most constructive course will be in simply accepting the post by Gritches as a usage of personal anecdote towards expression of dissent, without trying to read in anything more sinister or hostile. After all, everybody knows that Aspies can't or won't delve into subtext! And often that is actually the mature and genteel way. Flaming and bullying are more serious than mere momentary irritation.

 

[Aaron Agassi]

This is a matter of real concern for us all, that there is not enough being done to combat serial bullying and all the harm that it does. But more can and should be done. The CliqueBusters breaks taboo and offers novel solutions.

 

[abby normal]

some people lack whatever inside them to be "build-up-able." I was one such, constantly a deer in the headlights, no social intelligence to build upon, no theory of mind either. without those two things firmly in place, bullying will continue to destroy the vulnerable, so because of this there will always be a need for some external policing to happen, at least until human nature rises out of the gutter.

 

[Aspie_With_Attitude]

On my latest video blog, I had promoted one idea on how to raise awareness for the wellbeing of people with Asperger's syndromes not to be bullied.

 

[Aaron Agassi]

abbey normal raise an important point: Serial bullying unpunished persists and escalates. And the vulnerable will always be targeted. And the vulnerable will always be targeted. But what to do in social context whereof there is a gap in authority, or the authorities are fully complicit? This is the kind of problem addressed strategically only at The CliqueBusters

 

[Misery]

When it comes to bullying in school, well...

My thoughts on it are simple: Get the almost-always-useless faculty to, you know, ACTUALLY FREAKING DO SOMETHING.

When I was in school, I was always baffled by that. Absolutely baffled. The bullying was OBVIOUS despite it not being the physical "steal your lunch money" sort. And I dont mean " obvious when it was happening to me". I mean "when it was happening anywhere". I could watch others being pushed around in very obvious ways, FREQUENTLY, yet the often braindead teachers and other faculty were so airheaded that they seemed to genuinely not notice (even during the times when it literally happened in the same very small room as them; it was actually pretty darned rare for bullies to have a chance to do it WITHOUT faculty around in that school). And this wasnt like, subtle stuff either, the bullies were not bright enough for that. It was pretty blatant. But I dont remember even one time when those useless oafs actually did their bloody job by intervening. No, no... I do remember ONE time where the faculty intervened. One. But that was because I *forced* them to do so... they wouldnt have otherwise.

Getting teachers and faculty that arent dumber than stumps is the first step, as far as I see it.

Unless things have changed since I was in school. Perhaps stealth bullying is a thing now, with ninjas pulling victims into the shadows to shove them around, I have no idea.


Now, as for stuff like cyber-bullying... that one is on the PARENTS to not be utter useless morons. CONTROL YOUR FREAKING KIDS WHEN THEY'RE ONLINE! Pay some bloody attention to what they're doing and what's happening with them. If they've got a social account? Watch it yourself! If they dont like that? TOO BAD!

You get those two things working in a less sucktastic way.... teachers and parents... and ALOT of trouble will vanish, because it wont have a chance to start without bullies getting in trouble instantly. Good luck making that actually happen though. People are dumb.


Now, that's all with traditional bullying, which was and is still very frequent. When it comes to the idea of exclusion, well... heck if I know. I hated everyone in schoolc anyway, so I refused to join any groups. I still think that way today.

 

[Aaron Agassi]

Even the most otherwise mediocre schools can be rid of bullying, if they really want to. But serial bullying is not restrained to social context of formal education or employment. Know more at: The CliqueBusters

 

[Progster]

Bullying can never be eliminated, but it can be deal with more effectively. Both teachers and parents need to be more aware of what might be going on in children's lives and pick up on the tell-tale signs that a child is being bullied. And then deal with it promptly. And if there is an incident, no judgement without hearing both sides of the story first, and no action without interviewing witnesses, if any, to build up a clear picture of the incident. Counselling should be available for children at all times in schools, to help deal with the emotional pain caused by bullying and help victims develop coping strategies, because bullying doesn't just stop when you finish school, it can exist in one form or another in all aspects of life.

 

[Shamar]

My son recently left a school which became famous twenty years ago for a bullying incident. Actually more of a reaction to bullying, ostracism, and cliquishness. The administration has spent the last twenty years promoting anti-bullying and inclusiveness. The social dynamics have not changed in those twenty years. My son was taken to crises centers three times last year for suicide threats because of this.

If I had not been bullied, would I have still been suicidal for twenty years? Probably. I had to quit Boy Scouts because of bullying. It was mainly an inability to socialize and find human contact that did it for me. Would better self esteem have helped? Don't know, its hard to have an opinion about something you have not experienced. Would martial arts have helped? Probably not, since I am incapable of hitting back even if I knew how.

The experts come to their conclusions through statistical analysis. They mean well, but the proposed solutions seem more like idealizations and not real world, since I doubt very few, if any, have actually lived through the experience.