Talking Stages: Special Interests & Lack of Confidence

[FindingComfort]

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I read all your prior forum posts and the replies to those. For newer members I always do that, as I like putting their recent posts into context and give more accurate or well informed opinions for any initial replies to them.

If you two communicate well with each other regarding many things, because of similarities and/or complementary differences, or at least understand much of what the other is saying or doing, or if you both feel a strong connection there, or have a combination of those things going well for you there, then that is a great beginning, as rarely will everything click right away.

Before I answer your question, let me say my wife and I have both different and similar communication styles. We both can be very lengthy through writing, but I am more organized, analytical, logical and detailed there, and she more general, scattered, narrative and creative. We both have abilities to express feelings through writing, but she can show more feelings in person, including extreme feelings. She can talk much more faster and is more lengthy there, whereas I come across as more deliberate and precise with my words. She has ADHD and PTSD. I may have a mild ASD as I have some traits there. Our two children have diagnosed ASD, with much more core components and limitations shown there.

The reason I mention this is to show persons with different personalities, abilities, traits, conditions and communication styles still can get into or have longer relationships obviously. Remember too though, ASD and ADHD are more similar conditions than not. Lots of similar components there. Often they are diagnosed as comorbid conditions, or the doctor misdiagnosed one as having the other of the two condition due to the similarities.

So any feelings of connection between you two for communications could be either because of the similarities or differences, or both. I mean my wife and I both need our times away from each other when under certain stress, but often my strengths are her weaknesses, and visa versa. I am good at living in the present, one-to-one talks with others, legal things and following rules when need be, and I make well informed decisions; she is good at group stuff, and focuses on the past and future more, and can find creative ways to get other things accomplished. This helps the relationship having differences thus too, and not just relating or having similarities.

Having said that, yes many with Autism could take things literally if you needed time away, thinking it meant disinterest, perhaps as many may themselves may do exact same (back away under stress) or distance themselves from others when too much emotion became involved. Often they could have black and white thinking here or categorize, assuming for instance why they do things, must be the same for you and others. They may want some across-the- board rule to be seen as fact, and if it is hard for them to pick up on your other nonverbal cues or to understand or process what you say.

For both those with ADHD/ADD and Autism, it can be hard to express and communicate feelings, at least partially due to executive functioning and neurological differences, different from neurotypicals who can communicate in different ways, and process things faster or differently, making sense of things regardless if the other communicates in unique ways, as commutation can instinctively be tailored to the other if desired, or instinctively to that same level.

To be upfront, if both in any relationship cannot either prioritize communications, or if one cannot adapt and speak on that other's level without stress building, after figuring out what they need there, it will be harder for the relationship to work for that reason alone. I know I cannot change my wife's communication ways, so I put pressure on myself to be the leader there and to adapt and communicate in the ways she needs.

Details stress her, and I know big emotions and coldness shown from her former family stressed her, and their pressures onto her triggered her too. I know she likes the simple things in life and art is a hyperfocus of interest too. She likes sincere compliments as well. So I speak in relaxing and general ways as much as I can to her, say sincere nice things every now and then, show interest in her emotional health and interests, and give her space to do things her timing and ways.

I cannot tell you to change your communication ways to him, as who you are caused at least some connection there, and as I either do not know if you have that ability to adapt more to his communication needs or understand fully what he wants there if he has a hard time expressing or understanding that. In general, many with Autism may want to at least sometimes be spoken to in logical or detailed ways, for things they do not understand, without hearing intense feeling there.

Before you back away temporarily, if such happens again, an example could be to consider telling him in calm as way possible that temporary distancing and time alone is natural for most all in friendships and relationships to deal with emotions that can ebb and flow in life for numerous reasons, often with no fault of the other for that, and in order to re-energize, grow and be your best for the other. If he understands that action just means that, and that you value him as a great person and friend and feel a connection there, and time away does not mean less desire as it happens in all successful friendships and relationships, hopefully he would understand, and especially when you keep coming back.

Your story is so similar! Yep, one of the reasons I hop on here or other autism forums is so I can understand him better to be better for him. I want to learn his communication style, not to change myself but to know when I need to adapt when it's just us interacting.

Another reason I am drawn to him is that he does retreat if emotions are too much, or as he says it his mind can be at 0% sometimes (mostly weekends), and that kind of space works for me and makes me feel comfortable because I, too, grew up independent and just used to not leaning on relationships or connections. So I've always been curious about a partner who can take that same space (even for different reasons) and it allows us to have that "me time". It's funny...times when we are too busy or just taking space due to independency, we always make a point to check in even if it's once that day. And each time we both acknowledge that we knew the other was just doing what's best for themselves and that we've been carrying each other with us all day - it's like our energy is so connected it feels like we are just always right there. And that is security/dependability to me.

To me, the flaws and weaknesses still don't feel as such. What I feel "flawed" in, he says are the quirks he loves about me - and vice versa. And that allows us to verbally uplift each other. Like, whatever flaw or weakness we feel like we have, it's not seen by the other because the other has always lacked that one "flaw/weakness" on a deeper level - so we admire certain traits about each other that the other may have always felt insecure about. Does that make sense? I suppose that goes back to being compliments. Finding someone who truly loves you for your quirks, especially because of your quirks, is a rare gift.

Okay your last paragraph, now remember last Wednesday (July 19) was when he asked to take a step back and focus on his therapy sessions. I could tell something has been off since June. I can't put a story together without his verbal confirmation, but both of us have been mentally off ever since we kind of had our own version of "seeing other people, ready to get out there are date again" talk. Now that I think of it, most of us hitting a roadblock and feeling low comes after we have discussions over saying we can only be friends and nothing more. So I am curious as to how his therapy goes, and totally want to give him his requested space to do so and I will continue to focus on myself. I am hoping this space makes us stronger to move forward. But he never said how long...he just said he needs to be off computers/devices for a while. I don't want our silence to make him think I don't care, but I want to respect his request. He specifically asked to leave our line of communication open, so I know he will come back. I know I said many times in all this post/comments that I understand this isn't a relationship and he is not my boyfriend, but he does text "happy anniversary" each month on the date we met. That'll be August 5 next month...not sure if I should just say a quick "miss you, thinking of you" or let him lead when our next conversation starts.

I want him to know how I feel and that it's okay if we take our time to see how things go, so long as feelings are at least laid out there. I don't think he and I will come back strong unless that elephant in the room is addressed. Because as you pointed out (much like you and your wife), he and I do emotions differently. I asked him last week if he wanted to just be friends so he could focus on other girls and he gave me the fastest "No!". Autism or not, we are two humans afraid of rejection and putting our heart on the line. Especially when meeting online and the way our story still unfolds, it just sounds so surreal - I think we both still aren't used to the way the universe planted two amazing humans in front of each other in such a way. Do we just get over that and own that our story is our story and nothing else matters?

 

[FindingComfort]

Hi.

It seems like you both are after the same thing, but you both worry that saying so will hurt the other person. I think saying it is very important because otherwise you will continue to be stuck, but I also think it's important to keep your lines of communication open. Make sure he understands he isn't hurting you, and straight up tell him how good you feel when talking with him, and that you don't want that to end.

As much as I believe you favor direct communication with people, I wonder if you are directly communicating and listening to yourself. The fact is, you know him much better than anyone on the forum possibly can (regardless of neurotype), and I suspect that deep inside, you know exactly what you need to tell him. However, it might be scary to do as you can't know exactly how he will react, and you don't want to hurt him.

I have a suggestion. You know much better than me whether to follow it or not, but it might at least get you to see things from another perspective. Why don't you show him your message here? You are talking to a third party (so not factoring in how to phrase things for him), you are open about your feelings (in a way that might be awkward in a one on one conversation) and it shines through that you do care about him. He could also see exactly how you misunderstand him or he misunderstands you if there is some miscommunication. It's up to you whether to edit the message or tell him why you first wrote it. This could be a terrible idea, but you would know better than me.

Yesss *sad cry face** it is scary to face potential rejection by being honest with myself and him. I like those verbal pointers you gave in your first paragraph and am definitely taking them to heart for future conversations. Thank you.

You like to call me out and I like it, nay I need it connections and the future are scary for anyone. Especially two people who spent most their life waiting for the other shoe to drop in friendships/relationships. I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to get hurt myself.

Hmm elaborate (if you can) more on that last paragraph. I think I get a sense of what you are saying. You are straight telling me to lay my heart out there exposed, huh? But I need more clarity on what you meant by "show him your message here"? At this point I need a support system the next time he and I talk and I need to bring this up *gulp*. Anyone want to hold my hand just take my phone and text for me haha

 

[Stuttermabolur]

Yesss *sad cry face** it is scary to face potential rejection by being honest with myself and him. I like those verbal pointers you gave in your first paragraph and am definitely taking them to heart for future conversations. Thank you.

You like to call me out and I like it, nay I need it connections and the future are scary for anyone. Especially two people who spent most their life waiting for the other shoe to drop in friendships/relationships. I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to get hurt myself.

Hmm elaborate (if you can) more on that last paragraph. I think I get a sense of what you are saying. You are straight telling me to lay my heart out there exposed, huh? But I need more clarity on what you meant by "show him your message here"? At this point I need a support system the next time he and I talk and I need to bring this up *gulp*. Anyone want to hold my hand just take my phone and text for me haha

I'm going through something very similar, but as the partner. That's why I know how this feels, and I also know what I would like.

Elaborating on my last paragraph, I'm not telling you to do anything, but if you have difficulty composing a message for him because you don't know what to say, you've already mentioned what you would like to tell him in your two threads. You know better than I do exactly what it is you want him to know, but if anxiety is keeping you from going forward and writing to him, you have a solution "literally" right in front of you which only requires five key presses; Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V and enter (the most difficult one).

Regarding the last sentence of yours, he should ultimately be that support. I would tell him that you feel very afraid to tell him this, but you know you need to. Don't "make up your mind" about how he will respond ahead of time. Be prepared to listen if he has something to say, and be patient if he needs to process things. You might be surprised by his response.

I know I said many times in all this post/comments that I understand this isn't a relationship and he is not my boyfriend, but he does text "happy anniversary" each month on the date we met. That'll be August 5 next month...not sure if I should just say a quick "miss you, thinking of you" or let him lead when our next conversation starts.

This segment is making me wonder if one of his difficulties is the lack of clarity on the nature of your relationship (platonic, romantic or something else). You might be viewing it differently, or he might be unclear on how exactly you view your connection, especially if you haven't faced up to your feelings yourself. He might also not be sure how he sees it. I think having a completely honest and open conversation about how you feel regarding each other (without "reassuring" him you are x) is the best way to come unstuck. That also gives you an opportunity to ask him about how he sees you.

Is this normal for those on the spectrum to have trust issues this deeply?

What's normal is completely irrelevant. What really matters is the two people involved, you and him, and how you feel about each other. I would say that him withdrawing doesn't necessarily mean he has "trust issues". It could just mean that he needs time to sort his thoughts out, exactly as he says. Be vary of making assumptions based on cultural norms and past experience. Anxiety can cause people to fill in uncertainty gaps with assumptions just to make things a bit less scary (better the devil you know, etc.), but that doesn't make them any more likely to be true. This is why I stressed the need to listen to yourself, and get in touch with your mind and feelings. You might "want" to feel a certain way, or think you "should" feel some way, but that doesn't mean you actually "do" feel that way. This is not easy, which is why most people instead make assumptions.

I have a hard time dealing with uncertainty, and understanding other people and their motivations is very important to me. Perhaps he didn't expect you to say something, and feels the need to rework his mindmap of you taking the new info into account. I know that my feelings on people can easily change depending on circumstance, and this can be especially difficult when it comes to more emotional people, since I don't know what to expect, and there's a higher chance of me accidentally upsetting them. Maybe his feelings on you have changed. Maybe they haven't, and he's afraid to tell you. Maybe there's been a miscommunication from the beginning. Maybe the stuff he's working through is completely unrelated to you and everything seem perfectly fine between you two on his side. You won't know until you have an honest conversation about it.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[FindingComfort]

I'm going through something very similar, but as the partner. That's why I know how this feels, and I also know what I would like.

Elaborating on my last paragraph, I'm not telling you to do anything, but if you have difficulty composing a message for him because you don't know what to say, you've already mentioned what you would like to tell him in your two threads. You know better than I do exactly what it is you want him to know, but if anxiety is keeping you from going forward and writing to him, you have a solution "literally" right in front of you which only requires five key presses; Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V and enter (the most difficult one).

Regarding the last sentence of yours, he should ultimately be that support. I would tell him that you feel very afraid to tell him this, but you know you need to. Don't "make up your mind" about how he will respond ahead of time. Be prepared to listen if he has something to say, and be patient if he needs to process things. You might be surprised by his response.



This segment is making me wonder if one of his difficulties is the lack of clarity on the nature of your relationship (platonic, romantic or something else). You might be viewing it differently, or he might be unclear on how exactly you view your connection, especially if you haven't faced up to your feelings yourself. He might also not be sure how he sees it. I think having a completely honest and open conversation about how you feel regarding each other (without "reassuring" him you are x) is the best way to come unstuck. That also gives you an opportunity to ask him about how he sees you.



What's normal is completely irrelevant. What really matters is the two people involved, you and him, and how you feel about each other. I would say that him withdrawing doesn't necessarily mean he has "trust issues". It could just mean that he needs time to sort his thoughts out, exactly as he says. Be vary of making assumptions based on cultural norms and past experience. Anxiety can cause people to fill in uncertainty gaps with assumptions just to make things a bit less scary (better the devil you know, etc.), but that doesn't make them any more likely to be true. This is why I stressed the need to listen to yourself, and get in touch with your mind and feelings. You might "want" to feel a certain way, or think you "should" feel some way, but that doesn't mean you actually "do" feel that way. This is not easy, which is why most people instead make assumptions.

I have a hard time dealing with uncertainty, and understanding other people and their motivations is very important to me. Perhaps he didn't expect you to say something, and feels the need to rework his mindmap of you taking the new info into account. I know that my feelings on people can easily change depending on circumstance, and this can be especially difficult when it comes to more emotional people, since I don't know what to expect, and there's a higher chance of me accidentally upsetting them. Maybe his feelings on you have changed. Maybe they haven't, and he's afraid to tell you. Maybe there's been a miscommunication from the beginning. Maybe the stuff he's working through is completely unrelated to you and everything seem perfectly fine between you two on his side. You won't know until you have an honest conversation about it.

I wish you the best of luck.

Yes, it has been difficult due to his mixed signals, he treats me like all types of relationships wrapped into one...and we both should have a discussion and lay everything out on the table. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me and shedding your insight. I appreciate you.

 

[1ForAll]

Your story is so similar! Yep, one of the reasons I hop on here or other autism forums is so I can understand him better to be better for him. I want to learn his communication style, not to change myself but to know when I need to adapt when it's just us interacting.

Another reason I am drawn to him is that he does retreat if emotions are too much, or as he says it his mind can be at 0% sometimes (mostly weekends), and that kind of space works for me and makes me feel comfortable because I, too, grew up independent and just used to not leaning on relationships or connections. So I've always been curious about a partner who can take that same space (even for different reasons) and it allows us to have that "me time". It's funny...times when we are too busy or just taking space due to independency, we always make a point to check in even if it's once that day. And each time we both acknowledge that we knew the other was just doing what's best for themselves and that we've been carrying each other with us all day - it's like our energy is so connected it feels like we are just always right there. And that is security/dependability to me.

To me, the flaws and weaknesses still don't feel as such. What I feel "flawed" in, he says are the quirks he loves about me - and vice versa. And that allows us to verbally uplift each other. Like, whatever flaw or weakness we feel like we have, it's not seen by the other because the other has always lacked that one "flaw/weakness" on a deeper level - so we admire certain traits about each other that the other may have always felt insecure about. Does that make sense? I suppose that goes back to being compliments. Finding someone who truly loves you for your quirks, especially because of your quirks, is a rare gift.

Okay your last paragraph, now remember last Wednesday (July 19) was when he asked to take a step back and focus on his therapy sessions. I could tell something has been off since June. I can't put a story together without his verbal confirmation, but both of us have been mentally off ever since we kind of had our own version of "seeing other people, ready to get out there are date again" talk. Now that I think of it, most of us hitting a roadblock and feeling low comes after we have discussions over saying we can only be friends and nothing more. So I am curious as to how his therapy goes, and totally want to give him his requested space to do so and I will continue to focus on myself. I am hoping this space makes us stronger to move forward. But he never said how long...he just said he needs to be off computers/devices for a while. I don't want our silence to make him think I don't care, but I want to respect his request. He specifically asked to leave our line of communication open, so I know he will come back. I know I said many times in all this post/comments that I understand this isn't a relationship and he is not my boyfriend, but he does text "happy anniversary" each month on the date we met. That'll be August 5 next month...not sure if I should just say a quick "miss you, thinking of you" or let him lead when our next conversation starts.

I want him to know how I feel and that it's okay if we take our time to see how things go, so long as feelings are at least laid out there. I don't think he and I will come back strong unless that elephant in the room is addressed. Because as you pointed out (much like you and your wife), he and I do emotions differently. I asked him last week if he wanted to just be friends so he could focus on other girls and he gave me the fastest "No!". Autism or not, we are two humans afraid of rejection and putting our heart on the line. Especially when meeting online and the way our story still unfolds, it just sounds so surreal - I think we both still aren't used to the way the universe planted two amazing humans in front of each other in such a way. Do we just get over that and own that our story is our story and nothing else matters?

Yes, indeed lots of similarities. I certainly relate too about your talk of independence and worries about rejection, as growing up I was diagnosed with different conditions, AvPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder) and SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) and my biggest fears then were being critiqued and rejected, and so I avoided others and close connections. Yet, this contrasted with my desires to have friendships and a relationship. I just thought and assumed nobody those years could accept me for who I was, as I was really outwardly shy and anxious looking through my late twenties.

I lived alone for twenty years, starting after high school and through my college and university years and those later early adult years where I gave many attempts to better myself through self help things, so I was used to being independent too and doing everything myself. Then came a time in my late thirties though where I felt after brief dating stints and being finally ready where I wanted to enter a longer relationship. Even in a long marriage though, we both need our space and love doing certain activities independently too as many of our interests differ.

In our case, my wife and I knew we were different from much of the masses because of our conditions, and we each had difficult upbringings so we related there too, so that was the foundation to some earlier communications, as was the fact we both were searching for better times ahead with a less judgmental and more understanding persons. So it is good you came here to try to understand Autism better, as it was a big reason why I came here after our children were diagnosed and to learn more if this was a possible condition for me and to understand our children better and to see how best to relate to them and appreciate them more.

It is great you both try to uplift each other. Many people need that support and encouragement, and it gives them hope at being more themselves and frees them to trust and open up more. Of course though, when another feels hurt by something we say or do, I myself would want to be told in as nice as say as possible that, to learn from that and to see if I could do things differently if need be, or to at least explain why I did such. Often without proper communication we can assume things, or hurt feelings can build inside.

It is hard to say why things changed for him since June. The therapy and wanting to less use devices could mean being overwhelmed and wanting to be stronger in ways, or it could mean he just wants to figure out things more for the future. The fact he seems not to rule out more than friendships after he said that 'no' quickly before to that question of yours could be sincere, and since he shows sentimentality by that anniversary date, he could be giving hints there too of him seeing things as more special. Also, you both having lows when it was talk of just friendship. But other things he does shows not wanting or able to be more than friends yet.

It is hard to say whether you should contact him before the fifth, since he suggested he needed a break by the things he mentioned. But, since he said to keep the lines of communication open, that is a suggestion he could perhaps be ok with a quick communication if you really wanted to say "I miss you", because of you feeling strongly that way and could not wait until the fifth and explaining why to him, etc., then it is your right to say that. But, if you wanting to say that was mainly to please him, I would wait until he replies on the fifth as expected, as him cutting devices was his choice and need.

I can just say in my case I liked it when my friend then (wife now) seemed to want to take it to another level with me as seen by her comments a year later when she wanted to meet and wanted more than friendship. This was seen by her more loving words and hints that slowly grew during the friendship.. I would never have initiated dating otherwise, even though we knew each other well during all those daily prior contacts over extended time. By me accepting those kind remarks from her and returning those eventually to her without bolting, showing I could care for her as a more than a friend too, I was showing interest. I did so after I trusted her and knew I was potentially ready to give it a long try, as I did not like rejecting others too, knowing I could grow with her as I felt strong enough by then to commit if that was later destined to be.

I have seen some positive and longer relationships between ND persons, but in other cases they never get far off the ground or progress, as both are not on the same page there or one or both cannot provide enough needs the other is looking for or cannot handle certain things.. Will be wishing the best for you both either through friendship, or any later more. Or even if you eventually part ways, you will have learned through these experiences. It took me about three dating experiences and growth to feel ready. We all may be different there, as I was my wife's first partner. She saw the good in me, and I the same. It was the earlier writings over extended term without lots of long breaks that gave us hope and confidence there, and when attraction grew and grew through those.

 

[FindingComfort]

Yes, indeed lots of similarities. I certainly relate too about your talk of independence and worries about rejection, as growing up I was diagnosed with different conditions, AvPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder) and SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) and my biggest fears then were being critiqued and rejected, and so I avoided others and close connections. Yet, this contrasted with my desires to have friendships and a relationship. I just thought and assumed nobody those years could accept me for who I was, as I was really outwardly shy and anxious looking through my late twenties.

I lived alone for twenty years, starting after high school and through my college and university years and those later early adult years where I gave many attempts to better myself through self help things, so I was used to being independent too and doing everything myself. Then came a time in my late thirties though where I felt after brief dating stints and being finally ready where I wanted to enter a longer relationship. Even in a long marriage though, we both need our space and love doing certain activities independently too as many of our interests differ.

In our case, my wife and I knew we were different from much of the masses because of our conditions, and we each had difficult upbringings so we related there too, so that was the foundation to some earlier communications, as was the fact we both were searching for better times ahead with a less judgmental and more understanding persons. So it is good you came here to try to understand Autism better, as it was a big reason why I came here after our children were diagnosed and to learn more if this was a possible condition for me and to understand our children better and to see how best to relate to them and appreciate them more.

It is great you both try to uplift each other. Many people need that support and encouragement, and it gives them hope at being more themselves and frees them to trust and open up more. Of course though, when another feels hurt by something we say or do, I myself would want to be told in as nice as say as possible that, to learn from that and to see if I could do things differently if need be, or to at least explain why I did such. Often without proper communication we can assume things, or hurt feelings can build inside.

It is hard to say why things changed for him since June. The therapy and wanting to less use devices could mean being overwhelmed and wanting to be stronger in ways, or it could mean he just wants to figure out things more for the future. The fact he seems not to rule out more than friendships after he said that 'no' quickly before to that question of yours could be sincere, and since he shows sentimentality by that anniversary date, he could be giving hints there too of him seeing things as more special. Also, you both having lows when it was talk of just friendship. But other things he does shows not wanting or able to be more than friends yet.

It is hard to say whether you should contact him before the fifth, since he suggested he needed a break by the things he mentioned. But, since he said to keep the lines of communication open, that is a suggestion he could perhaps be ok with a quick communication if you really wanted to say "I miss you", because of you feeling strongly that way and could not wait until the fifth and explaining why to him, etc., then it is your right to say that. But, if you wanting to say that was mainly to please him, I would wait until he replies on the fifth as expected, as him cutting devices was his choice and need.

I can just say in my case I liked it when my friend then (wife now) seemed to want to take it to another level with me as seen by her comments a year later when she wanted to meet and wanted more than friendship. This was seen by her more loving words and hints that slowly grew during the friendship.. I would never have initiated dating otherwise, even though we knew each other well during all those daily prior contacts over extended time. By me accepting those kind remarks from her and returning those eventually to her without bolting, showing I could care for her as a more than a friend too, I was showing interest. I did so after I trusted her and knew I was potentially ready to give it a long try, as I did not like rejecting others too, knowing I could grow with her as I felt strong enough by then to commit if that was later destined to be.

I have seen some positive and longer relationships between ND persons, but in other cases they never get far off the ground or progress, as both are not on the same page there or one or both cannot provide enough needs the other is looking for or cannot handle certain things.. Will be wishing the best for you both either through friendship, or any later more. Or even if you eventually part ways, you will have learned through these experiences. It took me about three dating experiences and growth to feel ready. We all may be different there, as I was my wife's first partner. She saw the good in me, and I the same. It was the earlier writings over extended term without lots of long breaks that gave us hope and confidence there, and when attraction grew and grew through those.

Thank you for replying with all of that, and for everything so far. You and a lot of people on this site have been a tremendous help. I appreciate you being so supportive and encouraging to me. I am taking everything that was said on here to heart and notes as well so I can always continue to learn - for him, and for us Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

 

[1ForAll]

Thank you for replying with all of that, and for everything so far. You and a lot of people on this site have been a tremendous help. I appreciate you being so supportive and encouraging to me. I am taking everything that was said on here to heart and notes as well so I can always continue to learn - for him, and for us Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Thanks. Feel free to keep us here updated as you seem like a great person and well meaning, justing wanting more support and opinions for your unique situation, to make more well informed decisions. As I tell all here, anyone here can feel free to write me privately too, if they need further support and advice, as I always welcome that, with no agendas other than trying to be helpful there in those ways. As you have seen there are nice others here like that as well. Enjoy your day!