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Telephones??
- Thread starter Sal26
- Start date
My son who is the Aspie wouldnt answer the phone either. He is lucky we have an answering machine.
I didn't understand quite why it was such an issue for him, but now I do. When the phone rings its the fact that it might be someone he doesn't know and because he can't see the person he hasn't a hope of reading them to respond correctly. It's hard enough to talk to strangers face to face for an Aspie, but its even worse to talk to someone on the phone.
I used to even have to make all phone calls for him. Now I force him to make some as once I am gone he is going to have to fend for himself.
He too is one who prefers emails and texting because then its just the written word he is responding to, so doesn't have to use the right tone or sound like he has a smile on the phone etc.
Take baby steps when the phone rings. If it is someone you know who knows of your condition, try answering occasionally till you can eventually always talk to this person on the phone. If you can manage it with one person you can then Build it up to two and so on.
If you have an answering machine try to pick up for family at least who call. It's a great start than trying to answer strangers.
Remember to make change you need to take baby steps, so decide What baby steps you might like to try to cope with when it comes to things that make you anxious.
My son now answers family who ring but ignores all other calls and lets them go to answering machine.
Something as simple as a phone call, most wouldn't have any idea causes so much stress.
I didn't understand quite why it was such an issue for him, but now I do. When the phone rings its the fact that it might be someone he doesn't know and because he can't see the person he hasn't a hope of reading them to respond correctly. It's hard enough to talk to strangers face to face for an Aspie, but its even worse to talk to someone on the phone.
I used to even have to make all phone calls for him. Now I force him to make some as once I am gone he is going to have to fend for himself.
He too is one who prefers emails and texting because then its just the written word he is responding to, so doesn't have to use the right tone or sound like he has a smile on the phone etc.
Take baby steps when the phone rings. If it is someone you know who knows of your condition, try answering occasionally till you can eventually always talk to this person on the phone. If you can manage it with one person you can then Build it up to two and so on.
If you have an answering machine try to pick up for family at least who call. It's a great start than trying to answer strangers.
Remember to make change you need to take baby steps, so decide What baby steps you might like to try to cope with when it comes to things that make you anxious.
My son now answers family who ring but ignores all other calls and lets them go to answering machine.
Something as simple as a phone call, most wouldn't have any idea causes so much stress.
For me its the ring, it startles me.
So before I even consider taking the call I'm already a bit anxious.
Then I start thinking "who could it be, what the heck do they want now" etc...
My phone is turned off from 6pm to 10am.
I always try to answer though (if its turned on).
So before I even consider taking the call I'm already a bit anxious.
Then I start thinking "who could it be, what the heck do they want now" etc...
My phone is turned off from 6pm to 10am.
I always try to answer though (if its turned on).
Jonas Oliveira
Active Member
Hi everybody, this is my first time writing here at Aspie's Central. I can totally relate to that "phone aversion" and in my case I think there's something related to the lack of input about the other person's feelings and emotions. As we Aspies are really deficient on all that "reading emotions" stuff, I feel more confident when talking to someone I can see because I can at least try to read their body and facial expressions, and maybe work something out from there. Telephone suck because you can't see the person AND you can't actually get their voice tone and intonation properly. I always start talking at the same time as the other person, and sometimes I think that I'm the only one who has something to say, so I just blurt it out and get frustrated when I have to hear the reply to what I've said and think about that before answering back. Not having enough time to think about your answers is also something very frustrating and it makes me very anxious too. I don't know if that's why most Aspies don't like talking on the phone, but I can tell that the lack of feedback about people's intentions, feelings and emotions is what bugs me the most when talking on the phone. Hope to have helped. =D
Lots of Aspies have issues with the phone, ranging from annoyance to panic.
For those who like SMS instant messaging tools like Google Hangouts are really good. I use Hangouts a lot, it allows sending text and pictures and is much less clunky than MMS. It also allows sending location and other useful things. A final benefit of Hangouts is that you can have multiple people on one chat which avoids problems with passing messages. You can train people to use SMS and Hangouts instead of voice calls.
A benefit of mobile phones is that they match the called number to your contact list and show a name (and also have a custom ring tone if you wish). The down-side for some people is that it's more personal if it's your mobile phone.
I don't have a problem with social phone calls, but I don't tend to remember much from a business call. So I encourage all clients to use SMS, email, and Hangouts. This was a problem with I had a dyslexic client...
For those who like SMS instant messaging tools like Google Hangouts are really good. I use Hangouts a lot, it allows sending text and pictures and is much less clunky than MMS. It also allows sending location and other useful things. A final benefit of Hangouts is that you can have multiple people on one chat which avoids problems with passing messages. You can train people to use SMS and Hangouts instead of voice calls.
A benefit of mobile phones is that they match the called number to your contact list and show a name (and also have a custom ring tone if you wish). The down-side for some people is that it's more personal if it's your mobile phone.
I don't have a problem with social phone calls, but I don't tend to remember much from a business call. So I encourage all clients to use SMS, email, and Hangouts. This was a problem with I had a dyslexic client...
