The children issue: should I tell my ex to test for HFA?

[Streetwise]

My ex is undiagnosed. I am not a medical professional. We ended because he had a "shutdown" episode.

Why I think he has HFA: we were very close for the year that we dated. He told me many thoughts and difficulties he felt. He calls himself a robot. My best friend (who has family on the spectrum) first told me of this forum. I have lurked for months, and continue to discover many descriptions that are identical to who my ex is, and what my ex has told me.

I am not in contact with him, by my choice. My question is more to do with the issue of children. He wants them, however he has often said that he doesn't know if he can cope with special-needs children. Since ASD has an 80% to 93% genetic inheritance rate, should I tell him to test if he is on the spectrum?

I truly don't care if he knows or not. If he has children more severely autistic than he is (research says that progeny are often lower-functioning than parent) it isn't my concern because he isn't in my life. Telling him would benefit him and his future wife, i.e. they can decide to risk it, adopt, etc. So I ask you all: is it the ethical thing to tell him to test for HFA, for his own future plans?

Thanks, everyone!

why is it A communicable 'disease 'or A curse ,in your mind do I need to be purged.
should we test for Neuro typical and eradicate that !

 

[Robot]

why is it A communicable 'disease 'or A curse

It is an educated decision, to consider family history of heritable conditions when planning for children. People who understand their family's medical history are better informed about their own future health, with regards to conditions like cancer, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, and Huntington's. It also facilitates financial planning for future medical services.

"ASD is among the most highly heritable of complex psychiatric conditions." Like other heritable conditions, awareness about it is helpful not just for the individual.

Everyone benefits from knowing their family medical history.

 

[Tom]

I fixed the links in my earlier post.



The study is about ASD in families, which included twin progeny supporting 90% heritability. From the original paper:
"The study included 37 570 twin pairs, 2 642 064 full sibling pairs, and 432 281 maternal and 445 531 paternal half-sibling pairs."

Here is a summary about the significance of the study, which is a reanalysis intended to respond to peer feedback and test previous heritability estimates: Data do-over backs dominance of genetics in autism risk.

As usual, a difficult read. But it does not identify whether the parents (one or both) have ASD at all. It only assesses the likelihood of a second child having it if the first does.

So it does not address the statistical chances of your friend passing it on.

 

[Robot]

It only assesses the likelihood of a second child having it if the first does.

The purpose of the study was to establish what percentage of autism risk is genetic. (Answer: 83% to 90%) So far there isn't a way of identifying an individual's specific likelihood of passing on autism, or even other heritable conditions.

The best science to date has established that if an individual has autism, they risk passing it on. If the individual's family has autists, the risk factor increases. As to the exact statistical likelihood, no one can predict it. That is why the issue is difficult for so many people to accept.

 

[Rayner]

Your right, I was harsh I didn’t mean to be harsh. I was tired and grumpy when when I posted my response.

If I had an ex, who out of no where tell me I should get tested for ASD. It would really rub me the wrong way, I guess judge is right it comes down to the nature of the break up.


I was diagnosed when with ASD when I was a young child. I’m not really sure I have an answer to your last question.

That’s a little harsh. This woman is concerned about the well being of her ex and any potential children he may have. Obviously Robot’s ex can do what he wants, but mentioning it to him would be the courteous thing to do. Aren’t you glad that someone at some point mentioned HFA/AS to you?

 

[Tom]

People who understand their family's medical history are better informed about their own future health, with regards to conditions like cancer, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, and Huntington's. It also facilitates financial planning for future medical services.

You are comparing Autism to Cancer? I have both they are not remotely similar. Identification for the purpose of discouraging reproduction is 'Eugenics'.

 

[Tom]

The purpose of the study was to establish what percentage of autism risk is genetic. (Answer: 83% to 90%) So far there isn't a way of identifying an individual's specific likelihood of passing on autism, or even other heritable conditions.

The best science to date has established that if an individual has autism, they risk passing it on. If the individual's family has autists, the risk factor increases. As to the exact statistical likelihood, no one can predict it. That is why the issue is difficult for so many people to accept.

This is still misleading. You are throwing around numbers and statements that suggest passing on autistic characteristics is very high. But you have no idea what it is. It might be 5% for all you know.

 

[Robot]

You are comparing Autism to Cancer?

It is not similar in symptoms, however autism is a part of genome research so the comparing of rates isn't a comparison of my invention. As a genetic condition, autism concordance rate is higher than cancer. Here is a TED2014 talk on the topic, by geneticist Wendy Chung, director of clinical research and principal investigator at Simons Foundation Autism Research Initiative, Colombia University:
"... how genetic is it? When we compare it to other conditions that we're familiar with, things like cancer, heart disease, diabetes, in fact, genetics plays a much larger role in autism than it does in any of these other conditions. But with this, that doesn't tell us what the genes are. It doesn't even tell us in any one child, is it one gene or potentially a combination of genes? And so in fact, in some individuals with autism, it is genetic! That is, that it is one single, powerful, deterministic gene that causes the autism. However, in other individuals, it's genetic, that is, that it's actually a combination of genes in part with the developmental process that ultimately determines that risk for autism. We don't know in any one person, necessarily, which of those two answers it is until we start digging deeper."

Note that the 2014 concordance rate (from sibling studies) of 77% increased to 90% in 2017.

You are throwing around numbers and statements that suggest passing on autistic characteristics is very high.

It is the best data I can find. Happy to be informed of better data.

I am unlikely to respond to my ex; to me the data is straightforward however it may not be to him. Hope this thread is informative to others who read it, anyway.

 

[Rayner]

I guess my point is life is random, and in the words of Lt. Joe Kenda that's what makes it so frighting. I don't care about statistics, the exact likelihood is irrelevant because we can't predict it or control it. So to respond to your ex and tell him that he should seek a diagnosis or testing of ASD is almost a misguided attempt to save him from himself on your part.

You seem to be under the impression people with HFA as a whole are simply unfit or incapable of being parents and that isn't the case. From where I'm standing I can't help but think that your intent is to try to stop adults with ASD from being procreated. Like another member said earlier in the thread, that is not for you to decide.

The purpose of the study was to establish what percentage of autism risk is genetic. (Answer: 83% to 90%) So far there isn't a way of identifying an individual's specific likelihood of passing on autism, or even other heritable conditions.

The best science to date has established that if an individual has autism, they risk passing it on. If the individual's family has autists, the risk factor increases. As to the exact statistical likelihood, no one can predict it. That is why the issue is difficult for so many people to accept.

 

[Robot]

From where I'm standing I can't help but think that your intent is to try to stop adults with ASD from being procreated.

The science and studies I have cited have to do with the genetic heritability of autism. This is relevant to those who have an increased likelihood of having autistic children, because it is helpful for planning ahead in terms of choices, early diagnosis and support, in the context of financial resources.

Elsewhere on this forum, a new member posted about the difficulty of establishing a diagnosis for her children, and the process of realising that she herself has autism.

It is a kindness to think of the stress that can be saved if all of us (not just individuals with autism, but everyone) were more knowledgeable. It is not fair to think that anyone who seeks to share knowledge has bad intent.