THE CLOSING DOWN OF THREADS

[Tia Maria]

How are you going to get things worked out if the thread is shut down?

I wonder if this statement is central to GC's feelings about all this ... not her point so much as her feelings about the OP & now this thread? Btw GC, if I am off base, no need to get caught up in explaining & untangling all this, you can just reply with a NO.

GC asked I think twice, "how will we get things worked out?" ... Whereas others including myself see the prospect of people disagreeing & the civility breaking down in a very negative way ... GC may see it as continuing to 'talk' through the differing opinions until some sort of agreement or resolution is achieved. Or perhaps she & others will ultimately agree to disagree. But she wants to "work things out" ... which is not the same as debating & arguing in her view point & feeling.

Whereas it seems that some Aspies are not keen to hear (or otherwise absorb & analyze) new information that is contrary to their existing belief system. So there is never really a meeting of the minds - or working through to a resolution via discussion - when there is disagreement. So rather than devolve into argument & mutual bad feelings, many prefer to wisely avoid that possible outcome altogether.

It also seems that although GC may become offended, disappointed & even hurt; she does not seem to hold grudges or bitterness. Many Aspies on the other hand report feeling great bitterness, even anger, & long held grudges for sometimes the seemingly slightest of events. (I don't know whether that is due to Aspergers itself or a separate co-existing issue.)

Anyway, I am just pointing out what I see as some emotional & personality differences in how different people here may be responding to the overall topic. I share this in an attempt to help bridge the crosswalk of misunderstanding ... & alleviate potentially bad or hurt feelings over this (not mine) .... because some here are obviously (& rightfully) concerned & quite defensive about preserving the sanctuary on AC .... & I think GC cares about her friendships with most of you & may be left feeling disrespected & unappreciated by the tone of some replies.

Just my two (more) cents. Because of course the policy is not going to change, & the Mods have always exercised very good judgment, & GC herself is never uncivil or rude, but no point in stepping on her fluffy kitty tail in the meantime & making her feel uncared for.

 

[Tia Maria]

.... Don't ruin things on AC just because of me.

I am so sorry Penguin that you feel that way about police officers.

As far as anything being ruined on AC because of you Penguin, do not think that. First of all, I do not think anything will be ruined or changed on AC at all. Every day is a new experience to learn from & take something positive away from it for the next & every day thereafter. That is the best way we can always make some lemonade from a lemon; or see the glass as half full instead of half empty.

And you are not to blame or responsible for anything that transpired or followed from your OP although I understand your feelings because I am the same way.

 

[SignOfLazarus]

last reply to this thread:
Again-
i never saw whatever thread this actually was inspired by. It's not actually relevant to the conversation. And no, Penguin- you do not control anyone else's actions.

I also said specifically that i was frustrated with a response, not a person. If someone chooses to take my address to their response personally, I have no control over that. However, that is how a debate or discussion of any sort normally runs.

All of this:

Whereas it seems that some Aspies are not keen to hear (or otherwise absorb & analyze) new information that is contrary to their existing belief system. So there is never really a meeting of the minds - or working through to a resolution via discussion - when there is disagreement. So rather than devolve into argument & mutual bad feelings, many prefer to wisely avoid that possible outcome altogether.

It also seems that although GC may become offended, disappointed & even hurt; she does not seem to hold grudges or bitterness. Many Aspies on the other hand report feeling great bitterness, even anger, & long held grudges for sometimes the seemingly slightest of events. (I don't know whether that is due to Aspergers itself or a separate co-existing issue.)

I hate grudges. I desperately want to understand other people and other points of view.
Your description is not at all how I operate, though I am on the spectrum. It may be how other people operate. As I mentioned, I specifically pointed out that I was addressing a response and not a person. That I understood the point of view, i didn't agree with it. Actually, my MO is to really try to consider the opposing view. To say most aspies _____ is just like saying most NT's ____. It's not ok.

I came back and responded because your explanation above sort of walks the line of trying to explain other peoples' behavior. Though I think you have good intentions, it doesn't explain everyone's behavior and can lead to further confusion.

Also: I don't know who here said things that were directly disparaging to whom, but it should be considered that the board *is* called aspies central. Being on the spectrum means that one is constantly feeling like an outsider, that everyone else in the world constantly gets priority everywhere else about what THEY want and the world caters to them.

I don't wish to bring up the fact that someone is or is not on the spectrum or whatever neurological profile they have going on, but the fact is... some one who has the majority on the outside of AC is pushing an agenda that most of the ASD members who have responded do not agree with. I'm kind of baffled as to why that disagreement is seen as some sort of insult or indication that people don't care or are "stomping on someone's tail".

One individual who has the majority on the "outside" is pushing their agenda in this safe haven, basically. In theory to "stand up" for another member. I'm not sure that member really needs representation- they seem to be able to express themselves fine [I actually was under the impression they had their own business, perhaps I am incorrect].

If I wanted to JUST go by this action, i could interpret it as aggressive and as a continuation of "typical NT behavior". But... I've seen GC around the board, so I interpret instead as them being passionate and invested in this issue. No more, no less. Not as an NT, as a person.

I don't think that GC, or ME, or Penguin, or anyone else however, needs any special treatment. We are all adults, right? I stated I was upset and withdrew- which happens ALL THE TIME IN THE REAL WORLD. People walk all over me with out even realizing it.

None of this has any particular tone. Other than I don't know- explanation?

And now that I have quite clearly overstayed my welcome I'm going to take a nice vacation. ha.

 

[Brent]

Hi everyone,

Threads are closed because we deem them to be either breaking our rules or going down a path that will result in the thread being closed. We do not like closing threads, handing out warnings or anything in between.

If a thread is closed and you would like to know why, then simply start a conversation with me and the rest of the staff. You can create a new conversation and include all staff so that we can figure this out.

Creating a public topic, with a title in all caps, before trying to resolve any issues privately does not create a good atmosphere for resolution.

Some of you have no idea how much work is involved in keeping a site with as many posts per day as this site clean, friendly and productive. Especially a forum that is suppose to be supportive to those when they need it the most.

We make mistakes. Our moderators do not get any money from their work. They are here to help and have no agenda. We have a great community here and part of that community is respecting each other, even when you disagree with a decision handed down from moderators.

With that said, I will be making a new rule and guideline here and I hope you will all understand based on the above: If you have an issue with a moderators action on this site, please create a private conversation with me and the moderator(s) involved so that we can figure out any issues that exist and hopefully resolve your issue.

With that said, this thread isn't very productive so I will close it. A private conversation related to issues with those involved already exists. We only want what is best for this site and hope we can figure out a way to make everyone happy to use this site.