The Tragedie of the Aspies

[Kelly]

Mariasha: I agree Sam, come here Narwhal give me a big hug.....put your rapier away first though, I don't want to get pricked

 

[IContainMultitudes]

The Crimson Narwhal: [sheathes rapier] Yes, I suppose you are right Samuel, that's what my therapist keeps telling me.

To Mariasha: Thanks for offering a hug, dear lady, but I do not like being touched. My therapist also tells me that this is a probable sign that I have some kind of newly-discovered syndrome. Asper-something-or-other. I forget.

To Samuel: Do you know how to cook any Indian food? That would be good right about now.

Say, we should really have some music before dinner!

[The Crimson Narhwhal decides that this drama should become a musical and sings this song]:

 

[Kelly]

Mariasha: Oh thank goodness for that, I only offered a hug to be polite...I shall dance to your song in the only manner I know how...the awkward shuffle

 

[buckyboy14]

Samuel: Yes, Narwhal, sir. I can make you a mouth-watering Makki Paneer Pakora. Would you like that?

 

[Christian T]

Lady Boubou: Mr Narwal, we need to talk, or rather, sing, in this next musical number:

 

[buckyboy14]

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute- isn't Lady Boubou still at the house?

 

[Christian T]

Pardon me! She's a witch, so she materialised outside of the house to confront the other characters.

 

[buckyboy14]

Ah, I see! Makes perfect sense!

Samuel: Get away from me! Get out of my life! I found some people with whom I can stay! Mr. Narwhal, sir, you understand, right? GET HER OUT OF HERE!!

 

[Christian T]

Lady Boubou: Okay Mr Narwal. No more holding back, I'll bare my soul to you right now: my dear, sweet, crimson hottie, will you marry me?

 

[IContainMultitudes]

The Crimson Narwhal: Ok, but only if we have a Flash Gordon theme wedding and use these vows:

 

[Christian T]

Lady Boubou: Why don't we just vow to wipe out this whole scummy family of mine and start our own, magnificent line of crimson sorcerers!

 

[greenheron]

Poindexter: It is my considered professional opinion that all of you are on the spectrum, and accordingly you are to be placed in the custody of Ming the Magnificent.

 

[Christian T]

Lady Boubou: Ah, sorry, where are we to be placed in his custody? North? South? East? West? Could you give me a grid reference? And why specifically are we to placed somewhere within the vacinity of the Magnificent Ming? How many Mings are there? Couldn't we be placed in the custody 'Ming the overgenerous"? That's a grammar error anyway - adjectives and articles go before the noun they are qualifying or modifying, not after.

Sorry Poindexter, you're just being too vague.

 

[IContainMultitudes]

[Ming the Magnificent enters]

Ming the Magnificent: Lady Boubou, if I recall correctly, did you not make the same offer to me to wipe out your own scummy family and start our own line of sorcerers? [Points to the Crimson Narwhal]: Now I find you making that offer to this reprobate! What is the meaning of this?

 

[greenheron]

Poindexter: Ming the Magnificent! The only-est Ming! On the planet Mongo! In the custody of the Clay Men! In a cave, the location of which it does not suit Our Imperial Majesty to divulge!
So, have any Flash Gordon wedding to your hearts' content. You sealed your fates when you introduced F.G.

 

[buckyboy14]

Samuel: What in the world is going on here? Mr. Narwhal, if you marry her, I won't make you that Indian dish you wanted!

 

[WildCat]

Jonathan - [exits time portal] [hard cough, red eyes] Dude....THIS IS AWESOME! A wedding? Hey man, where's the cake...

 

[IContainMultitudes]

The Crimson Narwhal: [To Lady Boubo] You shameless hussy! Does Ming the Magnificent (aside: I thought he was supposed to be "Merciless") speak the truth about your relations with him? [To Jonathan]: And you stay out of this! I've no patience for meddling time travelers at the moment. [To Samuel]: You'd better damn well go get cooking! I eat a lot when I get upset, and I'm going to get even more upset if I don't get something to eat soon! :stomp: [sotto voce: Maybe my therapist is right, I do have some serious issues with food.]

 

[buckyboy14]

Samuel: Well, it's going to take about an hour to cook, so you'd better be able to hold your anger.

 

[greenheron]

POINDEXTER: The Magnificent, Merciless Ming has stirred in his cool, dark, damp den of power and he regards the bunch of you as persons of interest. He desires to unzip your pleuroperitoneal cavities and read the coded messages written on the ventral surfaces of your vertebrae by the Originators. These messages are the codes to initiate your erasure. Dies irae, dies illum. Solvet saeclum in favilla: Teste David cum Sibylla. So, look out!