Therapist unreachable until the end of the month

[Markness]

My therapist went on vacation to Africa and won’t be back until the end of the month. I thought I could manage without her but the last few days have been nightmares for me.

 

[Fino]

It would have been wise of her to leave some sort of lifeline behind, such as a backup therapist, perhaps even continuing your sessions with one. If she's simply abandoned all of her clients, that could potentially result in suicides. Surely, she's given you something. This sounds like malpractice to me.

 

[Markness]

I found out that I wasn’t given the proper dosage on my medication. The psychiatrists have really been screwing with me lately.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry to hear this. How are you doing by the way? Have you cultivated any new friends or interest? The raising gas prices are forcing everyone to stay open ruining our social interaction. Since prices started going up, l buy food and hideout in my box home like it's a bunker. Anyways, maybe online you might have better luck.

 

[Markness]

Sorry to hear this. How are you doing by the way? Have you cultivated any new friends or interest? The raising gas prices are forcing everyone to stay open ruining our social interaction. Since prices started going up, l buy food and hideout in my box home like it's a bunker. Anyways, maybe online you might have better luck.

I’ve honestly been feeling low lately. I thought my medication was the right dose but it is not. I also got unfairly accused of being a potential abuser in waiting. Yourself?

I built some models last week and I want to get some more but I am low on finances currently. I heard back from the friend I made at the end of last year but communication has been disappointing. I put myself out socially last night and went home sad after my efforts led to a disappointing outcome.

 

[Markness]

It would have been wise of her to leave some sort of lifeline behind, such as a backup therapist, perhaps even continuing your sessions with one. If she's simply abandoned all of her clients, that could potentially result in suicides. Surely, she's given you something. This sounds like malpractice to me.

She only gave me some meditation techniques but what I went through today is making me feel overwrought.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry to hear about the abuse thing. Don't let that talk get to you. Sometimes there are definitely negative people around you. I think I am surrounded by negative people where l live. They are like coachroches. I watch a lot of comedy to keep in better spirits and listening to music is fun. I posted a very cool belly dancing video in what song are you currently listening to at this forum. Check it out. She starts out like a statue and morps to human, then morps back to a statue. (Muusic, movies, television). It's on page 781.

 

[Markness]

Sorry to hear about the abuse thing. Don't let that talk get to you. Sometimes there are definitely negative people around you. I think I am surrounded by negative people where l live. They are like coachroches. I watch a lot of comedy to keep in better spirits and listening to music is fun. I posted a very cool belly dancing video in what song are you currently listening to at this forum. Check it out. She starts out like a statue and morps to human, then morps back to a statue. (Muusic, movies, television). It's on page 781.

Sadly, that accusation happened here. It’s ok for others to say what they want about me but if I say anything, I get a fight on my hands.

 

[Aspychata]

Oh dear. It's a tough world. Sometimes we go farther then we think we did, or we realize it after the fact. Being on the spectrum sometimes makes our younger years very difficult. You will feel differently about yourself as you get older l hope.

 

[Markness]

Oh dear. It's a tough world. Sometimes we go farther then we think we did, or we realize it after the fact. Being on the spectrum sometimes makes our younger years very difficult. You will feel differently about yourself as you get older l hope.

How much older? Next few years or decades?

 

[Aspychata]

I think l felt better by 40. But 30-35 things seem to flow. You become more accepting of yourself. But my earlier years were hard, because l always over thought things, pretty much like you. And some point you begin to realize over-thinking doesn't work. I also went thru an extreme worry stage, and over-worrying about something doesn't solve your problem either. You need to find the simple things that bring you happiness and keep spinning along. But l get what you are going thru. Many of us here hit tough parts in life and it feels like a slump. You sorta have to get better at accepting your reality. Another thing about life, is eventually change happens. Sometimes it's bad changes but it brings you better choices. Sometimes it's good changes but it may bring a bad consequence so you need to kinda of roll with what comes your way, and let go of the stress you feel about life.

 

[Suzette]

@Markness, I am sorry you are having a tough time. Try to find ways to distract yourself for a little while so that you can feel just a little bit better.
When life feels hard we just want to feel happy and joyful right now. But that is too big of a reach so when you don't get there it makes you feel even worse than before.

The key is go feel a little better and find a little relief. Take a walk, watch a happy video, borrow the neighbors dog and just enjoy petting it. If you can feel a little bit better let that be enough for a little while, then try to feel a little bit better again. Try to build up momentum so that you aren't backsliding. Feel better a little at a time.
Do feel better!

 

[Markness]

I think l felt better by 40. But 30-35 things seem to flow. You become more accepting of yourself. But my earlier years were hard, because l always over thought things, pretty much like you. And some point you begin to realize over-thinking doesn't work. I also went thru an extreme worry stage, and over-worrying about something doesn't solve your problem either. You need to find the simple things that bring you happiness and keep spinning along. But l get what you are going thru. Many of us here hit tough parts in life and it feels like a slump. You sorta have to get better at accepting your reality. Another thing about life, is eventually change happens. Sometimes it's bad changes but it brings you better choices. Sometimes it's good changes but it may bring a bad consequence so you need to kinda of roll with what comes your way, and let go of the stress you feel about life.

I honestly want to get better before 40. Going from 20 to 30 was painful. Life shouldn’t be like that at all. I just wish I knew why I can’t get out of the vicious cycle.

 

[Aspychata]

It as a lot to do with quieting our mind. Stopping our rumination, our obsessive thoughts . We can get right onto that so quickly. So our special interests occupy us and take us out of that dark corner. If we don't stay active with our interests; our brain flips into the repeat channel and we start thinking the same thoughts. Interests pull us out, and we become less focused on us and more focused on things or doing things, or if you own a animal- you take care of them, protect them leaving you less time to ruimnate about yourself. That's why so many here have special interests that capture us and keep our very active brains almost hypnotized. I love a good book, becausel can't wait to read the next chapter and find out what happens. I love cooking new recipes because l want to combine and recreate new taste ideas. You mentioned you built some models. This quieted your brain, and you even like the attention to detail and liked the finished product. So doing this was a special interest. So finding special interests really help.

 

[Suzette]

I honestly want to get better before 40. Going from 20 to 30 was painful. Life shouldn’t be like that at all. I just wish I knew why I can’t get out of the vicious cycle.

Yup, I felt like that right up to 40. I could have stopped the viscious cycle sooner but I didn't know how. I just did the best that I could.
I can't tell you how to get out of it. But don't give up! Don't give up too soon. Don't be foolish and give up right before you figure things out!
If you have nothing else to hang on to tell yourself

"Yeah, today totally sucked. Tomorrow might suck too. But maybe not. I don't know, really. I have had good things happen before. So I think good things can happen again. I don't have to figure things out today. If nothing changes, at least it hasn't gotten worse. I did it today, so, if everthying stays the same, I can do it again. And who knows, it might get better"

If you can give yourself that speech a few times, you will build your resilence. And the more resilient you are, the easier it becomes to feel better. And the better you feel, the more things change.

 

[Markness]

@Markness, I am sorry you are having a tough time. Try to find ways to distract yourself for a little while so that you can feel just a little bit better.
When life feels hard we just want to feel happy and joyful right now. But that is too big of a reach so when you don't get there it makes you feel even worse than before.

The key is go feel a little better and find a little relief. Take a walk, watch a happy video, borrow the neighbors dog and just enjoy petting it. If you can feel a little bit better let that be enough for a little while, then try to feel a little bit better again. Try to build up momentum so that you aren't backsliding. Feel better a little at a time.
Do feel better!

Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. It honestly physically hurts when the “reach” doesn’t succeed.

I don’t want my detractors to celebrate me caving in to them.

 

[Suzette]

Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. It honestly physically hurts when the “reach” doesn’t succeed.

I don’t want my detractors to celebrate me caving in to them.

Whats this? Why would you "cave" to the petty meaness of anyone? No matter what you do, you absolutely can not make anyones opinion about you more important than your own.

Look at it this way:
There are nearly 8 bilion people on earth. Each of them have an opinion. Many of these opinions will not agree. If you allow other peoples opinions to be important, you will drive yourself flipping bananas because you would have to change who you are every time you meet someone different, because their opinion will be different.
And not one of these people actually give a flying fig. Nope. They really are only thinking about themselves.

You are the only person who will be with you 24/7, every day of your life. No one else will ever, ever be so devoted to you. Weird right? No one else will ever be devoted to you the way you are.

So you opinion about you is the only opnion that ever matters. It is the only opinion you will wake up to, go to bed with and the only opinion that will be there for you, no matter what. So you have got to make that opinion one you can live with.

And let me ask you this, when you form an opinion about another person, are you influenced by how they look? How much money that they have? How they laugh? How they walk? Even, what they do for a living?

I bet none of that makes much of an impression. I'll be the thing you notice most about a person is how kind they are, how patient they are, how easy they are to get along with.

Yet, when you form your opinion about yourself, you aren't using those same standards. Why not? Why do you give everyone else a pass to be a jerk, but you think you have to be "perfect" in some way? That is irrational you know. Can you hold yourself up to the standards that you apply to others? Are you kind? Do you at least try to be? Are you patient? Are you a freaking decent human being?

You KNOW you are!

Please reread what I have written 100 times. Really, really absorb it into your soul.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am sorry to hear about your difficulties, @Markness . I hope you will give yourself some TLC. If there are some here who minimize what you are going through or saying you are abusive, they should be ashamed of themselves. Though it has been a while I think I understand your dissapointment. Even as I was working to change myself I had obsessive thoughts about the relationship I lacked and that interfered with my thinking. Even when I had my first relationship, I did not know how to progress to intimacy. It takes us much longer to make social progress than many. Just look at the postings here and it is a common element.

The first thing is not to beat yourself up over disappointments. I have seen you make progress on here and think you can internalize some positive messages about yourself. As hard as it is to disregard other people's negative opinions, realize that such people are biased and your self image should not reflect their bias. Are you able to process the negative messages you tell yourself, how your mind fixates upon them, whether those messages can be trusted, and what you can tell yourself instead?

Days are finally getting longer so I hope you are getting out to enjoy them. Just enjoying the landscape is energizing. Lose yourself in some music you enjoy. @Suzette and @Aspychata are giving you good advice and I hope you listen, especially about the people you should value, the kind ones, who value others, who have interests of their own, the ones who are accepting of the vicissitudes of life. Understanding how to recognize that is important. And, Embrace Imperfection, because that is understanding how to forgive ourselves for being imperfect beings.

 

[Kalinychta]

If there are some here who minimize what you are going through or saying you are abusive, they should be ashamed of themselves.

Markness’s description of another forum member accusing him of being a future child abuser is false. In typical Markness fashion, he took good advice and twisted it into a cruel insult.

I don’t think it’s at all healthy for Markness to perpetuate his delusions of persecution and victimhood by sharing his willful misrepresentations of others’ comments in order to get other people to feel sorry for him, thus perpetuating his self-defeating behavior.

I also find it extremely disrespectful to the person whose words he twisted, and also to the other members on the forum.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Markness’s description of another forum member accusing him of being a future child abuser is false. In typical Markness fashion, he took good advice and twisted it into a cruel insult.

I don’t think it’s at all healthy for Markness to perpetuate his delusions of persecution and victimhood by sharing his willful misrepresentations of others’ comments in order to get other people to feel sorry for him, thus perpetuating his self-defeating behavior.

I also find it extremely disrespectful to the person whose words he twisted, and also to the other members on the forum.

Understood. Once burned . . . . . twice shy.