Therapist unreachable until the end of the month

[Markness]

Markness’s description of another forum member accusing him of being a future child abuser is false. In typical Markness fashion, he took good advice and twisted it into a cruel insult.

I don’t think it’s at all healthy for Markness to perpetuate his delusions of persecution and victimhood by sharing his willful misrepresentations of others’ comments in order to get other people to feel sorry for him, thus perpetuating his self-defeating behavior.

I also find it extremely disrespectful to the person whose words he twisted, and also to the other members on the forum.

You know what I find disrespectful? You constantly hounding me under the guise of helping me. That’s why I see you as hostile towards me. It’s like you want me gone from here. It’s like everyone can say what they want about me but I get a fight on my hands if I say anything.

 

[tree]

@Markness

Much of your unhappiness is a result of
the meanings you assign to events.
Likewise you often seem unable to view
what people say to you in any way
other than negative.

 

[Markness]

@Markness

Much of your unhappiness is a result of
the meanings you assign to events.
Likewise you often seem unable to view
what people say to you in any way
other than negative.

My mother and another person (Not from here) brought up the possibility of me having a persecution complex.

 

[tree]

You have mentioned that previously
and I asked what that meant to you.

You do understand that a complex is
not like a disease, right?

"A complex is a core pattern of emotions, memories, perceptions, and wishes in the personal unconscious organized around a common theme, such as power or status..."
Complex (psychology) - Wikipedia

In other words, a complex is a group of associated ideas that
a person holds.
====

What do you think about the possibility that you may have
a persecution complex?

Take into account the many times you refer to various
good things being "denied" to you, as if someone else
has control over experiences that you desire.

 

[Markness]

You have mentioned that previously
and I asked what that meant to you.

You do understand that a complex is
not like a disease, right?

"A complex is a core pattern of emotions, memories, perceptions, and wishes in the personal unconscious organized around a common theme, such as power or status..."
Complex (psychology) - Wikipedia

In other words, a complex is a group of associated ideas that
a person holds.
====

What do you think about the possibility that you may have
a persecution complex?

Take into account the many times you refer to various
good things being "denied" to you, as if someone else
has control over experiences that you desire.

What the persecution complex means to me is that the constant mental abuse I suffered from growing up altered my brain and the vicious cycle keeps telling me I am indeed hated as well as seen as better off dead. I don’t think it’s any surprise I developed it after being bullied and told “Don’t do this, don’t do that!” countless times in my developmental years.

 

[tree]

What the persecution complex means to me is that the constant mental abuse I suffered from growing up altered my brain and the vicious cycle keeps telling me I am indeed hated as well as seen as better off dead. I don’t think it’s any surprise I developed it after being bullied and told “Don’t do this, don’t do that!” countless times in my developmental years.

That's quite an interpretation.

You do realize that complexes really are just
groups of ideas that a person has accumulated
over time? And can be modified?

 

[Markness]

That's quite an interpretation.

You do realize that complexes really are just
groups of ideas that a person has accumulated
over time? And can be modified?

I’ve tried to get out of my rut regarding my complexes but I keep getting disappointing results.

 

[tree]

I’ve tried to get out of my rut regarding my complexes but I keep getting disappointing results.

Results will vary, depending on the approach taken.
Some techniques are more likely to prove satisfactory than others.

What have you tried?

 

[Markness]

Results will vary, depending on the approach taken.
Some techniques are more likely to prove satisfactory than others.

What have you tried?

Going outside my comfort zone. The Sans Bar was an example. I thought I had found my niche but I was wrong after the damn political rally took place there and everything went downhill.

Practicing my guitar like crazy but not getting to the level I wanted to be at. Even taking lessons didn’t help. I can’t play guitar solos which are expected if you have a guitar.

Attending college. I was disappointed how the social atmosphere was still like high school and I couldn’t form or join a study group or club.

Attending an Unitarian fellowship. It was such a let down on many levels.

 

[tree]

These activities are unlikely to produce any changes
in your thoughts. They are not an approach to modifying
your thinking.

All I see in those activities is an effort to 'win.'

 

[Fino]

I recommend that you research "positive psychology." It's a relatively new field of psychology that focuses on a person's strengths rather than their deficits. Typically in therapy and psychiatry, we talk about what is wrong with us and go from there. Positive psychology does the opposite.

 

[Aspychata]

Markness’s description of another forum member accusing him of being a future child abuser is false. In typical Markness fashion, he took good advice and twisted it into a cruel insult.

I don’t think it’s at all healthy for Markness to perpetuate his delusions of persecution and victimhood by sharing his willful misrepresentations of others’ comments in order to get other people to feel sorry for him, thus perpetuating his self-defeating behavior.

I also find it extremely disrespectful to the person whose words he twisted, and also to the other members on the forum.

I didn't realize it was from here the accusation. I thought it was from somewhere else outside of the forum. Later that person brought me up to date and l fully support them. So all is well in Forum Land.

 

[Markness]

I didn't realize it was from here the accusation. I thought it was from somewhere else outside of the forum. Later that person brought me up to date and l fully support them. So all is well in Forum Land.

It doesn’t change how you view me, does it?

 

[Markness]

These activities are unlikely to produce any changes
in your thoughts. They are not an approach to modifying
your thinking.

All I see in those activities is an effort to 'win.'

When I didn’t hear back from an ex-friend on my birthday, I told myself “Just be patient. She’ll reply.” and waited for hours to hear from her. She never responded. Later in the month, I wished her a happy birthday and she didn’t reply. I just kept telling myself to keep waiting. A few months later, she called me to tell me “I don’t like you!”, “I am not your friend!”, “What do you have to say about that?”, and “Well, that was quiet.” while I had a panic attack.

I applied the same thing into hearing back for an interview to get another job. I never got a call.

I told myself to just be persistent with the Sans Bar but when things went downhill there, I lost my resolve. Same thing happened with the outdoor Meet Up group. I even had two blood pressure spikes on two different hikes then.

 

[Aspychata]

It doesn’t change how you view me, does it?

I don't like to judge people. We all go thru rough times. It's not my job to judge you. Just do my best to help you understand you are not alone.

We try to be a sounding board for you to bounce ideas off of.

 

[Markness]

I feel so overwrought. I can’t do anything creative or enjoy anything.

 

[tree]

I feel so overwrought. I can’t do anything creative or enjoy anything.

When I feel like big things are too big,
I do small things.

What are the smallest, possibly but not necessarily *creative*, activities
you could pursue? This includes 'emptying things that are full,' 'filling things
that are empty...'

Doing routine tasks can be soothing.
Especially if not approached with the idea that you have to *enjoy* them.

 

[Markness]

When I feel like big things are too big,
I do small things.

What are the smallest, possibly but not necessarily *creative*, activities
you could pursue? This includes 'emptying things that are full,' 'filling things
that are empty...'

Doing routine tasks can be soothing.
Especially if not approached with the idea that you have to *enjoy* them.

I want to write a music album review but the writer’s block is interfering with that. I also keep feeling what I have written isn’t good when I read it back to myself.

 

[tree]

I want to write a music album review but the writer’s block is interfering with that. I also keep feeling what I have written isn’t good when I read it back to myself.

You feel like what you've written isn't good.
What is lacking?
Specificity of criticism?

Is there a lack of originality?

Does the punctuation need correcting?

What about the review could be improved?

 

[Markness]

You feel like what you've written isn't good.
What is lacking?
Specificity of criticism?

Is there a lack of originality?

Does the punctuation need correcting?

What about the review could be improved?

Making it sound engaging as well as original.