Thanks so much for all the responses, guys. I'm hoping I've finally figured "it" out. When I was young, I knew I was different, so I figured I'd grow up to be gay. Then I grew up, and no, I wasnt gay. Well, it must be that I'm a drug addict. Then I grew up, went into rehab (Alice in Chains, anyone?) and felt like an alien there too. I'm hoping this is finally the end of that journey. I don't mind being unusual, but I dont want to be the last of my kind.
yuh, you'll get invited into these communities initially, but ultimately they know we're not one of them and uh eventually we know it too.