This is a vicious cycle.

[saturnv]

It is tempting to try to make many changes at the same time. I have found it is most effective to focus on making one new habit at a time while maintaining the old ones. After doing the thing for a month or two, it is decently established and I can try to add something else. Sometimes life isn't going well and my habits are all disrupted. At those times I focus on basics. I think the most impactful habit is regular exercise so I start there.

I use a phone app called Things 3 to keep track of things I want to do. You can put in recurring events like exercise that happen on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, for example. Or it could be clean the coffee grinder that happens two weeks after the last time. Everyday it gives me a list of things that past me thought would be good to do that day. I view it as suggestions and do the things I can and delete the ones I can't. That way I don't feel like a failure for not doing everything. With the recurring things, I can just try again when it comes up next time.

 

[Metalhead]

It is tempting to try to make many changes at the same time. I have found it is most effective to focus on making one new habit at a time while maintaining the old ones. After doing the thing for a month or two, it is decently established and I can try to add something else. Sometimes life isn't going well and my habits are all disrupted. At those times I focus on basics. I think the most impactful habit is regular exercise so I start there.

I use a phone app called Things 3 to keep track of things I want to do. You can put in recurring events like exercise that happen on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, for example. Or it could be clean the coffee grinder that happens two weeks after the last time. Everyday it gives me a list of things that past me thought would be good to do that day. I view it as suggestions and do the things I can and delete the ones I can't. That way I don't feel like a failure for not doing everything. With the recurring things, I can just try again when it comes up next time.

I want perfection like flipping a light switch. That is one of my largest obstacles.

 

[saturnv]

I want perfection like flipping a light switch. That is one of my largest obstacles.

Me too. I frequently try to come up with a perfect plan and get overwhelmed by how daunting a task doing it perfectly would be. Then I don't do anything and feel bad. That is why I try to focus on doing simple, achievable things that move in the direction of perfection. That works better for me.

 

[DrBadStrings]

This is excellent advice. By chance, I had a perfect routine in life that worked so well for me. Before work, which was M-F 9-5, I would hit the gym. It's not crowded at 6AM and the music was soft and comforting. I kept a gym routine that I would increase/augment each day. I would leave the gym after 45 minutes or so. I had the endorphin kick that made me happy and alert. After a day doing physical labor with a lot of detail attention, I would leave work fulfilled by having done my job well. On the way home, I would buy grocery store items that I might need. The store always had a big sale on canned vegetables that were dented. In the morning, I would set up the crock pot to make my dinner of carefully selected ingredients to make a healthy stew. When I got Home, I would eat and enjoy some down time. My peaceful time alone would prompt me to iron shirts, clean the bathroom, shine shoes, call people, and enjoy something on TV. I went to bed by 9pm and I was rested for the early morning routine. The weekends allowed me to visit my parents about an hour away, help them with yard projects and enjoy their company. I also had time to go out to a club. This was all kept glued together by the routine. I got all the rewards of being attentive to the gym, my job, and my family. I had scheduled free time every day after work and on the weekends. It kept me on track. I strongly believe that the stablished routine was a necessity born by my ASD. I don't have such a routine now. I have to reconstruct one that brings me the same happiness as what I had years ago. I could come up with a thousand excuses for why I don't take action today. The choice is always there.

It's interesting in that even before I found out this year I was autistic, I'm 42, I've always in my own life recognized the need for establishing and sticking to routines if I wanted any sort of long term stability. The more I eventually crept away from routines the worst my life got. Long story short, alcoholism. While it was a team of medical staff that got me safely sober, it was the reestablishing and sticking to routines that has kept me that way and with the added self knowledge of autism, they are really helping me to thrive these days.

 

[Metalhead]

So much useful advice in this thread. Thank you, everybody.

 

[Aspychata]

Good luck @Metalhead . Let us know what works for you. l am in quicksand when it comes to sticking firmly to a routine.

 

[Metalhead]

Changing habits is tough work, but only I have the power to make that happen within myself.

I need to introduce more physical activity into my daily life, as well as limiting my calories and drinking more water.

 

[Metalhead]

I need to clean my kitchen, so I am going to do just that before I go to bed tonight.

I really just feel like sitting and feeling self pity because none of my friends are able to visit with me this weekend, and I also have no cash in my wallet currently. If I did have cash, I could walk to a dispensary and buy some weed. Not like that would help anything realistically, but it would elevate my mood temporarily.