I'm trying. I have been doing it for so long I think I'm used to how it feels or if it's normal. But I'm sorry. Just all of what he did has caused me so much pain and aches I had to self harm.
Roxiee NO need to feel you have to say youre sorry remember? Nor feeling guilty that you did.
I also understand that as you say you have done this so long it's hard to stop and to you its feels natural and helps etc.... But that's one of the many things you need to try to get control of. There are many other ways to get the inner chaos and demons inside of you that don't require self-harm, suicide, booze, drugs etc.... And that's what you need to try to find dear with the help of professionals that can help you in youre search (I'm talking about open care NOT locked)