This made me laugh, but is true.

[baz]

 

[Harrison]

*sigh*

So many times I have done this. Had the chance to go out, made an excuse and then sat alone at home beating myself up about it.

 

[baz]

I've either stayed at home and been thoroughly fed up , or gone out and gotten very drunk and usually said or done something inappropriate .
Nowadays, having come to terms with having aspergers, I don't allow myself to be pressured into doing anything I'm not comfortable with.

 

[baz]

Also,for me, I don't drink anymore. Not a drop for at least 10 years.
I've learnt that in my case, aspergers and alcohol don't mix!!

 

[Balkan1996]

Yeah, but there's the 2nd scenario in which you ACTUALLY went to hang out, and then you felt bad about not being home by yourself because it is as boring.

 

[Harrison]

Yeah, but there's the 2nd scenario in which you ACTUALLY went to hang out, and then you felt bad about not being home by yourself because it is as boring.

Yep, I have the t-shirt for that one

 

[baz]

Yes that's also happened,which was why I used to head for the bar.
The last time I found myself wishing I was safely at home was at my Son's wedding last year, should have been a wonderful day but was like torture for me. My only way of dealing with it was to latch myself onto my other daughter in law, who can talk for ever without breathing or pausing. So all I had to do was ask her " how are you?", and she did the rest while I just sat looking interested and nodding or grunting an approval now and then.

 

[Harrison]

Yes that's also happened,which was why I used to head for the bar.
The last time I found myself wishing I was safely at home was at my Son's wedding last year, should have been a wonderful day but was like torture for me. My only way of dealing with it was to latch myself onto my other daughter in law, who can talk for ever without breathing or pausing. So all I had to do was ask her " how are you?", and she did the rest while I just sat looking interested and nodding or grunting an approval now and then.

I have an NT friend who can do that, she is my saving grace and because she knows I'm an aspie it doesn't phase her at all.

 

[Spiller]

No friends I feel really comfortable with, just an ND couple who talk conspiracy theories all the time and an NT who talks incessantly about her ex husband and her autistic son.. but that's where a modicum of alcohol helps me and it beats sitting indoors all the time..

 

[Progster]

I'd much rather stay at home and actually be alone rather than go out and have the illusion of being in company.

 

[Billy Smith]

Baz - I love the daughter in law wedding story. It's just so me. I also find that alcohol is a bad idea for me. It's not that it makes the Apsy thing is more prominent, it's more that the defensive walls I use to hide it come down and leave it more exposed. If that makes sense.

 

[Warmheart]

Home is where the embarrassment isn't.

 

[baz]

I remember when I was being tested for aspergers and one of the questions was
" would you rather go to a party or go to a museum ?"
I answered museum, but as I explained to the psychologist, I would have dearly loved to go to a party and have a wonderful carefree time. Socialising with everyone and really enjoying my time.

 

[Vinca]

I would often make alot of trips to the bathroom/toilets at parties/social events as it was the only place that there weren't alot of people and it would be quieter.

After a day at college I couldn't wait to get home. It was as though there was nothing else in the world as important as getting home. My happiest time at college was in the basement, in the dark room (photographic), by myself.

 

[SameStars]

I really like that blog (hyperboleandahalf). Many of the entries are recognizable. There's a bit about depression, and the Alot (rather than a lot), that I loved.

 

[Suzanne]

On recently, have I permitted myself to do this! Before, I would feel I am being very annoying and just plain awkward and not fully recognising why I needed to do it and that it is ok.

My catharsis came about when I was invited to a wedding anniversay. At first, I thought I would be ok, since they are a lovely couple and even though I got the warning bell when I found out that more than 50 were turning up, I reasoned that since they are so nice, then surely their friends would be equally nice? I was wrong and it was a disaster for me! The couple were lovely, but what I did not appreciate is that what 50 odd people there, they would be busy and occupied and well, trying to do their best; in other words, barely a word spoken. Plus where they live, the ground was very uneven and I could feel myself shrinking! I grabbed a chair and sat at a table and just wished I was not there. Couldn't even get up to get something to eat. I started to chat with this family, but it appeared that they got fed up with me and then moved to another table and I found myself alone at this long table, where others were occupied, but felt so wretched that I could barely move! Felt a couple of women staring at me in a mocking way; not my imagination either!

I eventually, could not deal with it any more and muttered something and found hubby and with tears in my eyes, said I had to go! He thankfully did not make too much of a fuss and walked me back and I sat in the car, sobbing my heart out and suddenly said: that is it! No more huge parties like that!

Since then, tiny revelations come to me and now I am able to say: I cannot cope with that and do not feel so bad. Oh but I would love to cope; but know I need to recuperate!

I do not drive currently and so have to rely on my husband, who is not the most forcoming in that department and I always feel that I am a nuisance to him, but suddenly, I realize that I am not being annoying; I cannot take doing tons of things in one day and as I told him: I have to go home and clean the breakfast things and start thinking about dinner, for I am pretty sure that he won't take me out? He of course, says too right, I am not taking you out and thus, takes me home!

I can only deal with half a day of intense activity, involving other people! I ended up coming home the other day and sleeping for a couple of hours and felt so drained!

 

[baz]

On reading all the responses to the silly/funny/sad/pathetic pic I posted, as someone who has suffered with this wretched aspergers all of my life, I really feel we all need to recognise our differences from nts. We are not failures, as I've believed I am all my life, we are just different. We can't expect nt people to ever really understand us, let's face it, we struggle enough to understand ourselves. Life can be incredibly hard for us but we have to accept ourselves and not allow ourselves to be pressured into doing anything that might put us in a potentially difficult situation.
We have to say NO, and people will have to accept it.
There, sermon over everybody, I'm going back to decorating the bedroom.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Somebody has to be either very special (I like them) or very twisted (they're blackmailing me) for me to hang out with them. Because they are boring, the place is boring, and I'll have to wear a bra (if it's spring, summer, or autumn). I'm more prone to go out in the winter, but that's when my seasonal job is in, so I don't hang out any then either.

 

[TragicKingdom]

Yes, this sounds like me. My best (and only) friend sometimes makes suggestions for things we can go out and do together - I always make excuses not to do so. Then she brings it up that I make these excuses when I say I am lonely and bored. It is a never-ending, downward spiral.

 

[TragicKingdom]

Yes, this sounds like me. My best (and only) friend sometimes makes suggestions for things we can go out and do together - I always make excuses not to do so. Then she brings it up that I make these excuses when I say I am lonely and bored. It is a never-ending, downward spiral.

Then my therapist asks me weekly: "So, what did you do this weekend?!?" expecting an answer I suppose that I went out shopping, to dinner, on a date or some such thing. I always answer: "I did nothing. I read some. I played some video games a bit. I wrote some code a little. I slept a lot." She just looks at me not knowing what to say next. She of course is an NT and I'm sure her weekend was full of wondrous adventures!