Those pesky emotions...

[Daniel]

Thanks, Daniel, this looks like a really interesting blog. I just read his posts about darkness and light, and fear of love. Both touch on a study I've been doing for about the past 6 months, about being *real* and giving up on earning love. Have you read any of Dan Allender's books? His book Cry of the Soul runs along these lines--it's the kind of book I'll read over and over, and there aren't many of those! He packs so much depth and wisdom into his books...I've really learned a lot from his writings these past few months.

Thanks for the tip--I'll check out his writing!

I'm sorry for the struggles you've been experiencing. But I agree with you...those emotions are a gift from God. There's a part of His heart we can only experience in the midst of deep and abiding grief. It's just really hard to walk that out sometimes...but I truly believe that "the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasures."

Agreed... It's so very hard! I go to work and it feels like I'm the only one who has to go through any kind of deep emotional challenges. But that's my path! I'm not here to have it easy.

 

[apsie]

I don't think its a good idea to vieuw emotion as something that is passed around.
It starts with you and only you. Others can trigger an emotional response, but its not like they are radiating some kind of emotional energy which in turn you radiate towards someone else.
If it were the case, then being alone would mean not having any energy as there would be nobody around to give you any.

Thinking like that could make one lose grip on reality (even if only for a short while), I've seen it several times.

Certain actions (acting on an interest for example) can make you feel "recharged", so can eating food you adore. Pretty much everything we do triggers an emotion.
I believe its important to ground yourself to reality.
We (humans) have learned some thing about how our brain works, all the chemistry and neurology can give you a pretty good indication of why we feel the way we do.
Agreed there's more we don't know (yet) but there is no need to immagine a scale of abstract energy.

That being said, I get lost in my head aswell.
Most of the time I feel disconnected from myself, and when I do get a look on whats going on inside my head the floodgates open and I feel like I'm about to explode, literally.

 

[stigmatic]

This is kind of a spinoff from the other thread about caring...do you ever wish you could MAKE yourself stop caring?

Learned helplessness is such a hard thing to fight. Why do I care so much about wanting to be loved? About wanting to be understood? About wanting to be connected with people? Data wanted to be human. Sometimes I feel like he had the better deal already.

Honestly, I'm a very emotional person. It's all just buried so deeply inside, that sometimes even I can't get to it, much less bring it to the surface for anyone else to know that part of me. Not that they would want to know...but it's so heavy, so painful...it just seems like being able to get it out somehow would help.

There are days I so intensely hate myself.

I agree, I really never felt as depressed before until recently. Mainly because my ex (first girlfriend I've ever had) really just talked down to me and from there on my self-esteem is very low. I'm always critical on myself and it feels like not a lot of people understand. I just sometimes want to give up everything and I'm confused about myself and I feel like I've forgotten how to act socially. I feel more awkward and I never know what else to talk about.