Tics relating to sexual attraction

[Crossbreed]

@KarenP , other than his being defensive and closed off, I don't see the problem. (Before my wife's depression) we would openly acknowledge other people (IRL/media) as "hot," including relatives. We would even debate each other's opinion.

Neither of us considered ourselves eligible toward them. We did not pursue them nor position ourselves to do so.

(My opinion stemmed from being an amateur figure artist. Hers from her dad being a professional one.)

 

[Fino]

@Crossbreed Have you read her posts in their entirety? It's just that I find your conclusion a little hard to believe.

 

[Crossbreed]

Have you read her posts in their entirety?

I read in the OP that he notices other girls. That he has related tics. But he is defensive and in denial [ashamed?] about doing so.

What did I miss?

 

[Fino]

I read in the OP that he notices other girls. That he has related tics. But he is defensive and in denial [ashamed?] about doing so.

What did I miss?

Oh, okay! That makes sense then. I kept rereading your post to see if I misunderstood it!

She continually elaborated throughout the thread, but here's just one example from one of her more recent posts.

One day when I returned from work (again, a few years ago now), he appeared to be in a very good mood and I said nicely, "It would be really nice if just occasionally you asked me how my day was." He replied in a venomous tone that why would he possibly give a damn what my day was like, that I go to work and do some typing and answer some phones (I was a national coordinator at the time); so why would he possibly want to know about that. I was pretty gob-smacked at his response, but just let it go. A few weeks later, again when he was in a good mood, I brought it up and said that I could not believe he could say such a thing to me, even if it was what he thought. Again he replied, though in a gentle tone, that it was true and why would he possibly care what my day was like. He really didn't seem to understand how inappropriate it was. That comment hurt me badly, and it was one of the things which I made him discuss following me leaving him for four days a few months ago. He acknowledged it was inappropriate and said sorry, but probably only because we were at the point of whether I would leave or stay. I try to point out that he would never speak to his daughters or sister the way he speaks to me, and ask him why he does it, but he doesn't respond to those type of questions.

There were things that were worse, from what I remember, but this was the closest.