Toxic parent HELP

[Major Tom]

The best thing to do is to get out of there and never look back. It's what I did to escape a toxic family. It was hard at first, but I survived and it made me stronger.

 

[Sfgirlred]

The best thing to do is to get out of there and never look back. It's what I did to escape a toxic family. It was hard at first, but I survived and it made me stronger.

Without education or a place to live, you homeless. If you woke up with MS tomorrow, if you had no family, You'd be out wheeling around the homeless track and people would spit at you. Truth.

 

[tree]

@Sfgirlred

Are you saying that you have MS?

 

[Sfgirlred]

@Sfgirlred

Are you saying that you have MS?

I don't, that was just an example of having no support.

 

[Major Tom]

Without education or a place to live, you homeless. If you woke up with MS tomorrow, if you had no family, You'd be out wheeling around the homeless track and people would spit at you. Truth.

No, I'd be living up in the mountains without a soul to bother me. I learned how to be self-sufficient when I left home. You can make all the excuses you want, but it's not going to make anything better.

 

[Tom]

I assume you are on the spectrum because you came here. Do you have a official diagnosis, or could you get one? Is disability an option?

 

[Sfgirlred]

I assume you are on the spectrum because you came here. Do you have a official diagnosis, or could you get one? Is disability an option?

Um, I tried to get Disability many times. I've had lawyers and everything. I don't have a formal diagnosis but I know I'm aspergers. I saw a shrink and he thought I was autistic.

 

[GadAbout]

What diagnosis/diagnoses have you received?

 

[Gracey]

Is discussing this issue with your parent out of the question?
Explain how you feel about their behaviour toward you?


You're assuming the only jobs you may get are dish washing.
What type of work would you like to do?

Very few stroll into their well paid, dream job with little effort involved.

You may have to try a few different positions and roles before finding work you're comfortable with.

Are there any advocacy services available to you?
perhaps they could offer guidance on your predicament?

 

[Sfgirlred]

What diagnosis/diagnoses have you received?

None, I was not in special classes or anything growing up. No one in my family including me, even knew what autism was

 

[GadAbout]

None, I was not in special classes or anything growing up. No one in my family including me, even knew what autism was

Come on, if you were institutionalized several times, you must have received a diagnosis. I'm wondering if it might be a mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder.

If you DID have something like schizophrenia, you might not have awareness of it, and you might feel like your parent's actions toward you are toxic even if they are not.

When you present the information you have told us, we have to weigh whether your perceptions of reality are accurate. Some will say this is a support site and we should be equally supportive of everyone, no matter what. But I think supporting an inaccurate view of the world is not doing anybody a service.

 

[Aspychata]

Feel it's okay to come from kindness, l think people are more willing to talk about issues. There is stigma in what we go through. I don't want to approach the OP in a negative light, especially young females. Being supportive puts OP at ease, and more willing to discuss things sometimes helping them perceive reality instead of us trying to force issues that we clearly are unsure about.

 

[Ken S.]

It would be extremely helpful if instead of having to play 20 questions you please try to state it all in one post.

 

[Sfgirlred]

Come on, if you were institutionalized several times, you must have received a diagnosis. I'm wondering if it might be a mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder.

If you DID have something like schizophrenia, you might not have awareness of it, and you might feel like your parent's actions toward you are toxic even if they are not.

When you present the information you have told us, we have to weigh whether your perceptions of reality are accurate. Some will say this is a support site and we should be equally supportive of everyone, no matter what. But I think supporting an inaccurate view of the world is not doing anybody a service.

Nope. Perfectly sane. My family made up the mental health bs to get me put on sedation drugs.

 

[BraidedPony]

I would rather take sedatives and wash dishes than live with my mother.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I don't mean to sound rude, but you don't want to wash dishes or deliver pizzas to stay alive?

Welcome to the adult world. Unless you have an SSI disability, that's life. If you don't like it, get financial aid and go to college.

I'd be on your tail too if you were living with me rent free. Parents are parents forever, but they are only financially obligated to you until your eighteenth birthday, after that, it's your job to decide whether you sink or float.

Can't blame anyone else.

 

[Sfgirlred]

I don't mean to sound rude, but you don't want to wash dishes or deliver pizzas to stay alive?

Welcome to the adult world. Unless you have an SSI disability, that's life. If you don't like it, get financial aid and go to college.

I'd be on your tail too if you were living with me rent free. Parents are parents forever, but they are only financially obligated to you until your eighteenth birthday, after that, it's your job to decide whether you sink or float.

Can't blame anyone else.

Not rude at all. I get that I'm an adult and all that. Thanks.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Not rude at all. I get that I'm an adult and all that. Thanks.

I've been homeless before, and I can say that a person really needs to be willing to get any job in order to stay afloat.

Often, if someone doesn't have a minimum wage job plus overtime to stay alive, then they'll be camping on the roadside and eating in a feed to stay alive.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Those folks who stock shelves, unload freight, deliver food, make toilet paper in a pulp mill, and launder bedding in hospitals are the folks who are keeping our country going during Coronavirus.

The little guy is the national hero. Think of it this way. It's like "trickle-up economics".

 

[GadAbout]

Nope. Perfectly sane. My family made up the mental health bs to get me put on sedation drugs.

And why did they want you sedated? Was it violence, self-harm, meltdowns?

And it would not be your relatives who would diagnose you, it would be doctors and psychologists. You were institutionalized several times, and nobody ever diagnosed you?

As to the "perfectly sane" judgment, well, you might not be the right one to state that. I certainly have encountered a number of schizophrenics who believed they were perfectly sane.

Anyway, you come in here offering very minimal information about yourself, wanting some escape from "toxic" family, and a primer on how to get a really swell job that allows you to live independently. That's not how life, or this site, works. Stick around and read other people's threads, see if you can pick up some ideas that might help you.