Autists people are said to have problems understanding what other people feel or think, and responding to those situations in a not optimal way. Im not so sure is that is true or not, because the "normal" ones tend to bully us and not the other way... The "Theory of mind debate is still open"...
To add to the so said "lack of theory of mind" stuff, many of us have problems understanding or being aware of our own emotions. The "Alexithymia" stuff:
By many of us I mean about 50% ...
If that was not enought, we can add trauma to the mix...
With this lovely context, it not rare that many of us (me included) do some mistakes when we try to comfort other people.
Even with the best intentions, we may fall in this trap called " Toxic Positivity". The name feels like an evil thing. What is is?
To put it short is when we try to push others towards being more possitive or optimistic in spite of their actual needs.
Lets say I find my daughter feeling sad and I try to "fix" her sadness pushing her towards being happy. That is toxic positivity. I have ignored her need to be sad, I have not connected with her, I have not listened to her true needs and by trying to "fix" her emotional state I have invalidated her feelings... Not a good father work.
Toxic positivity is specially harmful for PTSD people, because most of them have already been said that they lie, that they exaggerate, that what they feel is not right...
Abusers are known to do big efforts to present their victims as liars to others.
So many trauma victims have already being pushed to deny their own trauma and just continue with their lives with a smile as nothing had happened.
So in this case, when addressing people with trauma, depression, anxiety and/or any other difficult situation its important not to add to their problems with our un-intended toxic positivity.
Thanks for reading. Feedback is welcome.
To add to the so said "lack of theory of mind" stuff, many of us have problems understanding or being aware of our own emotions. The "Alexithymia" stuff:
By many of us I mean about 50% ...
If that was not enought, we can add trauma to the mix...
With this lovely context, it not rare that many of us (me included) do some mistakes when we try to comfort other people.
Even with the best intentions, we may fall in this trap called " Toxic Positivity". The name feels like an evil thing. What is is?
To put it short is when we try to push others towards being more possitive or optimistic in spite of their actual needs.
Lets say I find my daughter feeling sad and I try to "fix" her sadness pushing her towards being happy. That is toxic positivity. I have ignored her need to be sad, I have not connected with her, I have not listened to her true needs and by trying to "fix" her emotional state I have invalidated her feelings... Not a good father work.
Toxic positivity is specially harmful for PTSD people, because most of them have already been said that they lie, that they exaggerate, that what they feel is not right...
Abusers are known to do big efforts to present their victims as liars to others.
So many trauma victims have already being pushed to deny their own trauma and just continue with their lives with a smile as nothing had happened.
So in this case, when addressing people with trauma, depression, anxiety and/or any other difficult situation its important not to add to their problems with our un-intended toxic positivity.
Thanks for reading. Feedback is welcome.